August Update -- August 31, 2007 at 14:32:12

I have realised that I will only update my journal/website when I really need to procrastinate, so otherwise when I am in school or working, (and that's how this website was made, at the mto!) But this year, I have made an "August Resolution" to not procrastinate when in school, so that's why I am updating NOW! I feel that if more people made august resolutions, they would actually follow through with them (New Year's Resolutions are like sooo 8 months ago.) SO therefore, I, August, Challenge, you, August's friend, to make an August Resolution!

August's Dive Journal -- October 29, 2006 at 21:18:43

When you go diving, you have to fill in your log journal after every dive; filling in things such as water temperature, bottom time, depth, interesting fish you saw, etc. I decided to transfer my written journal to this electronic journal. To have a read, click here -> August's Dive Journal.

Happy Thanksgiving -- October 9, 2006 at 4:31:12

We're feeling a little left out here in Australia because they don't celebrate Thanksgiving. I guess it's because they're all convict decendants and don't want to give thanks. But we have the pilgrims! Yay!

So, we just came back from a week vacation in Far North Queensland. Check out the Photo Album! We had a ripper time!

Peace.

OH, YEAAHH! -- September 6, 2006 at 22:18:32

Well, the best month of the year is finally over. I guess I'll have to wait another 11 months for August to come around again! Not too much is happening in Sydney. School is halfway through the session, mid-session break is in two weeks, going to Cairns with zwei Germans and deux Canadians (from Flin Flon!!!). The most exciting news is from home! I have a new baby cousin, a beautiful baby girl named Arielle. And my 'little' sister is starting Uni at McGill! Well, that's aboot it. I'll have some new pictures up in the Photo Album soon.

Keep on rocking in the free world!

Back to the Future -- July 2 or 1 or 3? 2006 at who knows what time zone I was in

So, I successfully packed up my stuff, moved it all to my new flat, stayed up to watch the football, and boarded the plane back home. I left Sydney on July the 2nd, arrived in Honolulu on the 1, and will arrive in Toronto on the 3. I calculated it all out and it does work out, although, one of my key assumptions included a hole in the space-time continuum.

The hardest part about switching up my circadian rhythms doesn't have to do with being tired, You see, I'm a regular guy, and I like to stay regular (not with turbo lax like Dumb and Dumber though). Every morning, right after breakfast, before I start my day. It's almost like a tradition I need to uphold (similar to my pre-track-event ritual.) If I don't, I have a bad day. But with this 36 hour journey, my body doesn't know when it should go, and it hasn't so far, so I'm a little worried....

I'll keep you all posted....

Somewhere in the Pacific -- July...?? (I still don't when I am)

While sitting and trying to sleep in the Honolulu airport I was alone from about 1 am to 4am (local time). No one around at all. It's kind of weird being inside a huge airport all by oneself. It kinda makes you think how easy it is to get into an airport and do lots of illegal stuff. By this point I'm sure the FBI and/or RCMP are reading this so I'll keep it short...*omb! At least the authorities are making my hit counter reach new weekly highs! And if the RCMP are reading this, good on ya guys for catching those terrorists in Toronto!

Obviously being alone with nothing to do....I tried to sleep. It was pretty hard considering the most comfortable thing was a concrete bench. *OMB! But at least the airport was kind enough to supply some lovely local Hawaiian music, punctuated every quarter of an hour or so by any number of recorded messages..."Any baggage left unattended will be confiscated and DESTROYED!" No joke, the woman on the recording practically yelled that. I also woke up with a strange desire to smoke in one of their designated smoking areas. "At Honolulu international airport, we try to limit second hand smoke. Please smoke in one of our designated smoking areas. Please smoke in one of our designated smoking areas, please smoke, Aloha!, please smoke, please smoke, Aloha."

Well, they successfully limited the second hand smoke, but I think they are encouraging more people to smoke with their subliminal messaging. As with the message, "Bush is the best, he can do no wrong, there were weapons of mass destruction." I'll be right back, I just need to go for a smoke. BACK! Those designated smoking areas are actually quite nice. If they had more of these areas, I think this "smoking" thing could really catch on and get popular, addicting if you will.

The Ecstasy of Flying First -- (I'm going to stop making lame jokes)

Wow, I do feel like the luckiest person in the world. Getting to fly first class. Because I am lucky enough to have a father that is too cheap to use his aeroplan points, and the only way I could use the points to fly home was on business class, I got to fly business class!!!

As some of you may have heard me say before, one of my life's goals was to fly first class. Someday, I would be able to make enough money, to be able to spring for it. I still cannot believe that as I type, I am sitting in luxurious seats with a glass of wine. *OMB *OMB *OMB!!! I keep thinking about that one Seinfeld episode where Jerry takes the first class ticket and Elaine has to be relegated to coach. The experience is exactly like that episode. I can never go back to flying economy. The meals here are wonderful, the stewards wait one you like you are a rock star. Unlimited, free alcohol. Not only alcohol, but fine and rare wines. The meals are just unbelievable, salmon, feta cheese and spinach omelettes. And I couldn't give a fart about the people back in economy.

But don't worry, I haven't lost my perspective on class divisions. In fact, It made me meditate more on the class structures in the world and various countries. These flights have made me reflect more on the meaning of classes and the way people conduct themselves. Being in first, you don't really care about the economy, and you would rather not see them at all. It makes me feel guilty, but I reckon it might make other first class passengers just not want to associate with the lower classes. I tried to relate this to real life.

For example, on our ten hour flight from Sydney to Honolulu, there were plenty of [wow, just got handed a hot towel; I could get used to this.] spaces in first class. Too many in fact. The flight was delayed a bit because of a weight imbalance. Nine people in economy had to be moved up. It was weird, I actually resented them being moved up, and I was happy when they had to return to their seats. [When I used to fly economy, I always wished I could be moved up and I (silently) cheered people who moved up.]

Other highlights of first class..... the lounges!!!! At the Sydney airport, they had a wicked continental break- [damn, just got served a wicked meal, and the guy keeps filling up my red wine without me asking!] fast, they had showers, free internet, free alcohol, and everything was so posh. I really felt like I didn't belong. However, by the end of the 36 hour journey to Toronto, I feel that I belong now. In conclusion, I can never go back to economy class. I will purposely not take any more vacations or flights until I have enough money (or aeroplan points) to fly first.

PS. Props to the lady at the bar in the presidential lounge in San Fran for serving me. Mainly because I was underage and drinking in the states!

*omb.

Break out the Gravy -- Saturday, July 1, 2006 at 23:53:12

Get out the mashed potatoes and gravy because the turkey is done and I'm hungry! That's right, more than half done my degree.

Exams were a mix of killing and being killed. It's my fault for not studying. As my good friend Mateen once wrote, "I need a good failing to set me straight." Let's just say I'm straight now. (That's right Johnnie, straight.)

Well, Happy Canada Day, eh? Hope y'all had a good one on the weekend. I'm hopping on a plane in a few hours. After a seven hour stop over in Hawaii, gaining my day back that I lost (I still don't know where those 24 hours went as you go over the date line, some glitch in the space-time continuum; if only I had a flux-capacitor and 1.21 Jigowatts. I like to throw in those semi-colons every once in a while. Now back to our regulary scheduled sentence....) and another 7 hours in San Francisco, I'll be home! Finally, I can get my mom to wash my clothes. People did start giving me looks after the first two months, maybe it was the chocolate stains along with the stink. But I still refuse to wash my own clothes!!

Winter Break in Australia -- Friday, June 23, 2006 at 21:24:48

Exams will be finished next week, and I will have three weeks of vacation before the next session starts. Wow, so much time! What should I do? Go snowboarding in the Snowy Mountains, camping in the Kakadus, hiking around Uluru, scuba diving the Great Barrier Reef, how about everything! So many choices to make everyone back home jealous.

Well, I did book a BRILLIANT trip for the July break. I've heard it's the most amazing tour you can do in the WORLD! It's an all-inclusive package to warm, sunny weather. All you can eat food cooked by a world renowned chef who has been trained by the greatest Polish and Italian cuisine artists of this century (and the last). Newly renovated accomodations just minutes away from one of the most vibrant cities on earth. I will also have access to my own driver (however, she is only 18 and I still don't trust her behind the wheel.) Well, if you haven't guessed yet, I'm coming home for three weeks! My sister is my personal chauffeur, and my dad is the world renowned chef. HA! My dad only has one kitchen utensil, the phone. (I will give him credit for one thing, he can make a mean 'Big Salad'.)

I kind of wanted to surprise everyone, but I also wanted to write another Journal entry, and I couldn't think of another topic. I think I can still surprise a few people who don't check this, like my Grandmothers and maybe my aunts and uncles. So don't tell them! But if they are reading this right now, then.....SURPRISE!!! Well, I'm pretty excited to come back home. Ironically, I've never spent summer in Toronto, so it should be fun. See y'all soon now, Ya hear?!?

Update from the surf -- Friday, June 2, 2006 at 15:10:13

You guessed it ... dolphins! I was out surfing early this morning, sitting and waiting for some waves. And my friend Doug points out to sea and says, "Look! Dolphins!" Now this might not have been too spectacular for him since he sees heaps of dolphins while surfing in New Jersey. But I was blown away! They were slowly swimming by, so I paddled out to intercept them. There were 6 of them and I got within 3 metres before they turned around. The great thing about dolphins is that they are the only other animals that have sex for fun, and there are never sharks around when they are. Dude! (Maybe they scare away the sharks with all the fun sex they have?) Now I just have to surf with some penguins (Doug did that a couple of months ago). Sweet!

What made it an even better day was that I caught three unbroken waves and turned on them! This might not seem exciting, but I was uber-stoked! These were my first real waves I caught. Now some of you might be wondering what August has been doing surfing for over three months. Surfing is THE hardest sport to learn. It takes such a long time to get comfortable on the water (ie. when a wave comes, you're thinking about how to stand up and not which lifeguard is going to drag your lifeless body from the bottom of the ocean). I have so far been practicing standing up on the already broken "white-water" waves, and trying not to get killed (or kill anyone else) when I paddle out back to try catch the real unbroken waves.

Tubular!

What kind of Monday? -- Saturday, May 13, 2006 at 8:54:32

The other day, I was chillaxing with a couple of my good Dutch friends. We were listening to some good tunes and some Dutch comedian (who sounded a lot like Goldmember from Austin Powers. FASCHER!)

Dennis comes to this song “Manic Monday” by the Bangles. (Click on the picture of the Bangles to listen to it.) A great little tune. We all love it! In fact, we all listened to it on our bike ride in Perth as we passed by kangaroos eating grapes. We all sang along, and had a gay-ol'-time.

But then I asked Dennis, why the hell do you call it 'Manic Monday'? They clearly sing ‘Automatic Monday’ in the song. And obviously that would make more sense lyrically in the song. To go to work another Monday, just like every other Monday. An 'Automatic' Monday if you will. Not ‘manic’ Monday. You go to work like a maniac on Monday?

So we started arguing, "There is No Way they say ‘manic’! No way, it makes no sense, what are you stupid, Dennis? I am a native speaker of English, I can hear what they say! You and your stupid Dutch, fascher, fascher Scheisher! IT IS DEFINITELY ‘AUTOMATIC MONDAY’!!!!"

So, in our modern times, to solve a dispute, you turn to the source of infinite wisdom, a source that is never wrong....google. We type in ‘“automatic monday”’ in quotation marks of course. And the first hit is.... The Archive of Misheard Lyrics . Touché, sir, touché. And there are about 5 other sites just like it with other people’s pathetic confessions about how they thought it was “Automatic Monday” and they were so embarrassed when they found out for the first time it was ‘manic’.

As my face was turning a bright, sunset red... you can imagine the Dutchies laughing it up, having the time of their life (they haven't been this happy since winning the European Football Championship in 1988).

SCORE: Dutchies...1         August...0

Diving Europeans -- Monday, April 24, 2006 at 19:00:32

So I was playing football (soccer for the North Americans) the other day with a bunch of Europeans. Now most of you know that I can't play soccer (only basketball and volleyball) but I still gave it a go. I don't have the fine skills that most people have from playing football everyday. I don't really know all of the rules. But what really annoyed me and prompted me to write this article was the weak, shameful way the Europeans played the game (except for the Dutch, they didn't whinge at all. Not at all.)

It seemed like whenever I was playing a 'little' aggressive, which wasn't that aggressive, all the Europeans (especially the Italians) would throw their hands up in the air and start to complain. One of them even fell to the ground like he was seriously hurt, and then hopped around for a few minutes like his football career had ended forever (he was back playing at full strength 5 minutes later). If I was playing the way Canadians play hockey, the whole field would have been littered with lifeless, Eurotrash corpses. In conclusion, the Europeans should start to play some manly sports like rugby or hockey (ice hockey to be specfic, field hockey is for wimps), or else the whole continent will be filled with whinging men that cry at the sight of a hang-nail. (except for the Netherlands)

Back from Easter Break -- Saturday, April 22, 2006 at 14:47:32

Back from another road trip! I know it seems I am always on vacation and not doing school work, and you'd be right. Australians are so lazy, they just give themselves vacations and weeks off whenever they feel. So we (Arjan, Dennis, Jon, Eylard) decided to rent a car and tour the Great Ocean Road. The GOR was built by convicts in the 1920s, and winds itself spectacularly along the coast in southern Victoria. It goes west of Melbourne towards Adelaide.

We flew into Melbourne and toured around there for a bit with Monica and Philipp (they couldn't do the Road for various reasons). Then we drove the Great Ocean Road for three days, came back to Melbourne, then drove back to Sydney, stopping in Canberra for a day. If after reading this enthusiastic entry, you still aren't convinced I had such a great time, check out the Photo Album entry. If you still aren't convinced after that, maybe I should use more exclamation marks!

Full-on!

Back from the Perth Bike Trip -- Sunday, April 2, 2006 at 22:21:47

Crikey! We finally made it back home! Err, to a home...But now it's back to school. We had a killer time biking up from Augusta (yes Augusta) to Perth on the west coast of Australia. I'm just giving a quick update here, you can view a detailed tale of our ride in the Photo Album. We saw some great karri and tuart tree forests of WA (the state of Western Australian). We also toured a cave, wineries, more forests, beautiful beaches, wineries, and lots of farm fields...MMMOOoooooooo. So check out the Photo Album.

Letters from Sydney -- Wednesday, March 15, 2006 at 14:50:07

Yes, I have finally arrived in Sydney! Okay, so maybe I've already been here a month, and you're right, I have no excuse for not putting anything up sooner. But I have finally decided to put down my surfboard, take a break from relaxing on the beach, and update my website.

I arrived here on February 13 without incident, flying through LA and Fiji. I do have one comment to make about the airlines. I give a 'Wag of my Finger' to Air Canada for their usual crappy service, but a big 'Tip of my Hat' to Air Pacific (a Fijian airline) which was amazing!

I will be continuing to update my photo album, and I will try to put up a post here once a week.

Double Contractions -- Tuesday, November 8, 2005 at 14:32:04

Have you ever been writing an informal essay (contractions allowed of course) and found you were two words over the 400 word max? While quickly scanning the page, you come across the words "it is not" and an evil idea starts to form in your mind. The thought of which makes grammar teachers around the world (especially McGivern) cringe. Something that would even make Shakespeare turn in his grave. The Double Contraction.

It's'nt a commonly used practice, but I feel more writers would benefit. They would be on the cutting edge of literature, and literature has never even had a cutting edge before. Maybe a dull edge at most. I have tried to think of more double contractions, but I'ven't been able to. Except for that one. I leave you now with one parting thought, double contract this... I will not !

Please direct your comments here.

First Post -- Wednesday, October 13, 2005 at 13:43:06

Captains Log. Stargate 9. Entering the Vargon Galaxy. Website is underconstruction.