The Bagpuss Demandments
The Story of the Bagpuss Demandments
Bagpuss delivers his Demandments.
The Bagpuss Demandments were sent to Earth by Bagpuss, in order that He might provide some guidance as to how the human race could better amuse Him. In a glorious miracle of Bagpuss, Bagpuss' head did come to Earth, and crash-landed in a manner most holy and becoming of His Holy Image into the side of a mountain. As the smoke cleared, Bagpuss proclaimed that he would deliver unto humanity his ten Demandments! And, lo, Bagpuss did bellow His Holy Demandments, of which their were fourteen in total, to the people below, and they were greatly terrified. However, their wisest scribes, choking down their fear, recorded the Demandments of Bagpuss, so that His demands would be known ever and more! Thus, when Bagpuss' head returned to its home in outer space, His Demandments were spread by his cringing followers until all the land rang with praise of Bagpuss! And, lo, Bagpuss was angry!
The 10 Demandments
- Bagpuss is angry!
- The beauty of all things must be judged only in comparison to the perfect image: that of BAGPUSS!
- Thou shalt covet BAGPUSS!
- Do not insert in ear canal.
- Bagpuss alone determines what is true!
- Thou shalt kill in the name of BAGPUSS!
- Bagpuss must be feared!
- Bagpuss must be loved!
- Thou shalt help Bagpuss move!
- Bagpuss is angry!
- Bagpuss shall not be clothed!
- Thou shalt steal from the poor, and give to BAGPUSS!
- Bagpuss demands sacrifice!
- Thou shalt vote BAGPUSS!