Guide to the Bagpuss Moodometer Alert System

As any faithful disciple of the Bagpuss religion knows, Bagpuss is angry. If Bagpuss becomes too angry, he will become tired and go to sleep. This would mean the end of the universe, for "when Bagpuss goes to sleep, all his friends go to sleep, too." Granted, if you have helped to amuse Bagpuss at some point during your undoubtedly otherwise pointless life, you will be counted among Bagpuss' friends and will go to sleep with him, to wake later and join him in the afterlife (as opposed to everyone else, who will just die). Still, it's good to know how close Bagpuss is to sleep, and for this purpose the Church of Bagpuss is proud to offer the services of the Bagpuss Moodometer. Using a complicated array of sensors and mouldy bread, the Bagpuss Moodometer is able to determine Bagpuss' mood and display it on a handy electronic chart thingy. This way, the devout follower of Bagpuss can know exactly how angry Bagpuss is. So that you may use the Bagpuss Moodometer as effectively as possible, a guide to all seven possible states has been included below to assist you in serving the angry will of Bagpuss.

JOLLY

An extremely rare mood state, this means Bagpuss is temporarily distracted from his anger by something he finds amusing. Although it's unlikely this state will last very long, if you really want to you can try to do something amusing to prolong it.

DISPLEASED

At this mood level, Bagpuss isn't happy by any means, but isn't quite into the "angry" range yet. If you do something fairly amusing, like commit some mild treason, you might be able to keep him from slipping back into rage for a few seconds.

ANGRY

This state indicates that Bagpuss is angry. During this alert state, you should attempt to act in such a way as to amuse Bagpuss.

ANGRY SPECIAL

This state indicates that Bagpuss is angry, but with a greater than normal level of Bagpuss-fueled destruction.

WRATHFUL

During this state, Bagpuss is both angry and intent on expressing his rage through random acts of destruction targetted at the foolish humans of Earth. Listen for an enraged roaring, and watch the skies for the sight of his deadly eye-beams!

ENRAGED

WARNING: This state indicates that Bagpuss is extremely angry. He can only maintain this level of pure rage for so long before getting tired and falling asleep. If you wish to ameliorate this condition, it is best to drop everything you're doing and join your local panickly horde in trying to amuse Bagpuss. If you all pull together with no thought for personal safety, you might just be able to pull Bagpuss' fickle temperment into the comparatively safe region of "angry" or "wrathful."

ASLEEP

If this is the current mood state, the universe has ended. Please remain calm and await further instructions... from BAGPUSS!