Low-Rise Everything

Today's beauty standards call for long legs, trim hips, and flat stomachs. You may agree or disagree with this standard. You may agree or disagree with the entire idea of having a beauty standard and point out that the subjects of Renaissance nude paintings were covered with cellulite and had enormous bottoms. However, for those who want them, there ARE standards: long legs, trim hips, flat stomach. They might change tomorrow. But for now, they are there.

One might think that the fashion industry would support those who want to follow the beauty standard. However, that is not the case. Today's pants, skirts, and sometimes even dress waists are worn low, low, low, and it is fiendishly difficult to find a skirt or pair of trousers that sits right below the navel, let alone covers it. These low-rise garments make one look less like the current beauty standard, in the following ways:

• They divide the body in two at a low point, making the legs appear shorter.
• They put a horizontal line around the hips, making them appear wider
• They sit right below the area of the stomach that often protrudes in women, underlining that area and making it appear less flat than it actually is. I am serious. I have seen skirts like this make stick-skinny celebrities look positively pregnant.

In addition, low-waisted skirts are prone to riding up, especially on me. Let me explain. I am fortunate enough to have a waist. If I wear a skirt on my waist (and it fits properly), it can not ride up or down, since the areas both above and below where the skirt sits are wider than the skirt's waist. However, when the skirt sits lower than the waist, the area above the skirt is narrower than the skirt's waist or the part of my body on which the skirt rests. Therefore, it is very easy for the skirt to ride up given the least opportunity.

I envy the girls in the fifties. It was easy for them to find fashions that made them look trim, curvy, and lovely. Today, one must sift through mounds of unflattering garbage just to find something that looks acceptable.