Prelude
	Summary
	Characters
	Moments
	Scribbles
	Links

Prelude

What's the difference between love and desire? The harder you try to paint them with different colours, the hazier the line becomes. When they start to mingle and blend, you hear the lurking voice whispering 'you lose'. Frantically you start to build fences all around your stupid pride, only to find your imaginary castle torn down to the last brick. Now hurt and confused. Now contented in love.

I've come to the point, where I,
Just long for you,
Just long for you,
and long for you,
and long for you,
and long for you...

Can you hear the old church wimpering your name? He's been here before, hasn't he? The cigarret butts he scattered on the floor, and little by little joined them end to end. He must be aching. Your name in cigarret butts, against the cold church floor. It's haunted, this deserted space lost in a souring memory. Desires seep from every ancient crevice and corner, until the gothic ghosts were driven into exile. Can you hear it? Echoing at the root of your ear, throughout the immense expanse of space a longing calls out your name.

This longing, with zero impurity.

This love, with all there is.

Summary

Eihiko Fujio , a normal salary man and Kenji Yamazaki, a wild artist, were 'intimate friends' since university. There is an unspoken truth, or rather a discreet agreement between them - They love each other but they agreed to ignore it. Plus, they both have a girlfriend. One day, Kenji's girlfriend, Reiko, declared herself pregnant (later everyone knew it was a lie...) and Fujio told Kenji to take responsibility and get married. 'Get married?' - This upset Kenji so much he went nuts. The spark line quickly led to a big leap in the love relationship between our male characters, with voluntary help from their girlfriends! Let's simply say: they finally went into a physical + mental relationship and devised a set of boundaries to circumvent the problem of having two lovers at once - 'We only act within the limits of what desire will allow us. Women are our priorities.' Their girlfriends however, soon realized that their priorities under the grand title 'love' were threatened to be overtaken by what their men defined as 'desire' (or 'koi'). As the rules crumble and the game sours, what already exists can no long be denied.

Last but not least, despite the crazy start in plot development, rest assured, it's not a bisexual orgy kind of story. Koiga is one of the more realistic works compared to the aesthetic 'Prince of Monster', or the horror-stricken 'Shiikugakari Rika'. You won't have trouble enjoying it despite the repetative mention of 'ai' & 'koi', which is an eyeshield, really.

Characters

Kenji Yamazaki
Keywords: pretty, cynical, aloof, narcissistic, fujio-fetish
Height: 176cm
B-day: 14th April
Horoscope: Aries
Blood Type: O
Sibling: None
Girlfriend: Reiko

Tidbits: Kenji Yamazaki, aka Ken-chan, is a weird and cynical illustration artist. He is born into an art family. His father is an architect, mother a children's story write, grandfather a painter and grandmother a calligrapher. It seems that he was made to learn everything from origami to ballet since young. He hated it then and escaped from home several times. Yamazaki is an obnoxious chain smoker. His favourite brand is Virginia Slims Menthols. (If you wonder if it's also Motoni sensei's favourite, YES.) He could easily turn into a beast when he's high on alcohol (or sex for that matter). Girlfriend wise, He prefers women older than himself. He's the 'nastiest' character among all - highly contradictive, sucks at communication and tends to scare people away with his blatant remarks.(such as 'Go f**k someone else coz Fujio's in love with me')

Appearance: Yamazaki is a pretty-looking guy. His slightly upward slanted eyes give him a sly and evil look. He's often troubled by his overly feminine face as it seems to affect his disposition during sex. The long sideburn right in front of his ears was used to be neatly tugged back behind when he was in university. He calls himself a 'pervert' and has extremely weird tastes.

On Fujio: Fujio is exactly Yamazaki's type. He fell in love with Fujio at first sight and marked him down when they were in university. In Yamazaki's opinion, Fujio is a serious and warm guy who's a bit dense but always places others before himself. Yamazaki has an obsessive Fujio-fetism. He collects Fujio's stuff, from a pen, a tiny cup all the way to Fujio's floor lamp. He brings them back home and add them to his 'treasure alcove'. Anyhow Yamazaki can't live without Fujio.

Quote: (when drunk)"Dance like a butterfly and sting like a bee!! Your no-refund wife is here, TADA!!!'

Eihiko Fujio
Keywords: serious, kind, protective, dense
Height: 180cm
B-day: 6th August
Horoscope: Leo
Blood Type: A
Sibling: one younger sister
Girlfriend: Miku

Tidbits: Unlike Yamazaki who's rightfully entitled 'pervert' & 'obnoxious', Fujio is a rather normal salaryman. He loves to collect manga and he has a rare collection envied even by Yamazaki. His hidden talent is tennis. He played tennis in high school all the way till he graduated from college. He might have sister-complex as he tends to choose younger women as girlfriends.(btw I thought this's normal for most guys, but I'm just copying verbatim from Motoni sensei's top secret character information...) Fujio is usually very slow in comprehending. It's those type of 'Huh? I don't get it' guys... I'm not saying he's stupid. He's just slow. He doesn't smoke much. Favourite brand is Caster mild.

Appearance: Fujio is in fact very handsome but he's unaware of it. He's accused of having 'deceiving looks' since he's popular with girls but fails to be a caring boyfriend (for reasons I shall mention somewhere, definitely, where??) He's usually spotted in suit and tie, with neatly combed-back gleaming black hair.

On Yamazaki: Fujio fell in love with Yamazaki before he was fully aware of it. (There again. Fujio is SLOW!) He used to sleep in the same bed as Yamazaki during university. His reason was 'Yamazaki's bed is huge', but he didn't understand that it was probably just an excuse. Fujio is Yamazaki's only friend. To Fujio, Yamazaki is 'a hentai who likes to bully people; has strange interests, is indeed a coward, and a good-looking one. Smokes a lot, takes long baths. The best possible friend and a nice guy.' In their strange relationship, Fujio plays the 'active' role. He protects Yamazaki when he's in trouble.

Quote: (when Yamazaki's threatened to be kicked out of his art circle) "Just quit if this is what they call a job, Yamazaki. I can take care of you."

Reiko
Keywords: big-sister, mature, calculating & underwear
Height: 165cm
B-day: 3rd June
Horoscope: Gemini
Blood Type: A
Boyfriend: Kenji Yamazaki

Reiko is Yamazaki's girlfriend, 3 years older than him. She worked at a publishing company and when she went to Yamazaki's house to get the scheduled submissions, she was seduced. That's how their win-win love relationship started. Reiko wants to get married, but not with Kenji. On the other hand, Kenji often asks her for advice on problems with Fujio. Reiko is a mature woman who is full of plans and schemes. She helps those two guys get together but in the process, she makes sure her position as Kenji's girlfriend isn't the least bit shaken. She plays the 'big sister' role in the story, consoling the rest and dishing out advice when necessary. She smokes and loves to walk around the house in underwear. Btw, my friend once remarked that picture of Reiko (the one shown here) resembles Nicole Kidman. True, ne?

Quote: (when the depressed Yamazaki asked 'You're on my side, right?')"I'm on your side only because you're my guy. I'm on my side. If you want to be down, be depressed on your own."

Miku
Keywords: young, pretty, jealous, possessive
Height: 162cm
B-day: 20th Sep
Horoscope: Virgo
Blood Type: O
Boyfriend: Eihiko Fujio

Miku is still a university student and is 5 years younger than Fujio. They met at an alumnus get-together event organized by her club. She likes Fujio's maturity, kindness and his cool look. She might appear very possessive and jealous when Fujio pays more attention to Yamazaki. She even pulled a few dirty tricks just so Fujio would break up with Yamazaki. However, unlike Reiko who's in a win-win position in the love game, Miku puts all her heart into loving Fujio. In the end, she even went into such extreme as to sleep with Yamazaki just to erase Fujio from her mind. Miku has another affair with a guy called Katsumi who plays guest appearance in the story. Still, it's extremely difficult for her to forget about Fujio.

Quote: "I knew it, but to me I couldn't 'love'. Jealously and anxiety are important to me..."

Others

from left to right

Katsumi: the guy whom Miku has an affair with
Kurusu: another artist in Yamazaki's social circle, who attempted to rape Yamazaki
Yamazaki's uncle: whom the young Yamazaki admires and idolizes. He raped Yamazaki.
Fujio & Yamazaki's friends during university: Sorry, they're quite irrelevent really...

Moments

I can give you a light. Don't take it out. Keep it in your mouth.
Huh, wh..?
Come closer, I can't light it like this.
I'm Kenji Yamazaki. Yamazaki-kun, that is.
Umm. I'm...
'Eihiko Fujio'. I know.

April 18th: I found out his name today. Eihiko Fujio.

Hair!
One day Fujio came to Yamazaki's house, shocked to see Yamazaki's disastrous hairstyle. His hair was all pinned up and fixed in what looked suspiciously like a relived version of Elvis Presley. Yamazaki had been bothered by his feminine appearance, and was made all the more irritated when Fujio said 'You're so cute' everytime they had sex. 'Treat me like a man at least for once!' Yamazaki complained, sulky that he was always the one to be 'taken'. Fujio, the forever dense Fujio, of course didn't get it. The whole 'masculinity plan' started with spiky-hair-to-be, and progressed on to wearing Fujio's business suit and tie when he was painting.(used to wear his own T-shirt and jeans) 'Oops, the suit got dirtied.' Yamazaki spotted the big smudge of paint and remarked nonchalantly...

Chain
Yamazaki's birthday was around the corner. This year, however, was different. He wanted a birthday present from Fujio. Probably he was feeling insecure. Probably he desired Fujio beyond the limits of what's proper. However, being the 'nasty' person he was, Yamazaki didn't ask Fujio directly and instead, consulted Fujio's girlfriend Miku on how to coax a present and what it felt like to receive presents from Fujio. Miku was mistaken and thought Yamazaki was trying to get presents from Reiko. Miku smiled and said 'I'm relieved somehow. I thought you were always thinking about Fujio and nobody esle. Maybe I was wrong.' Yamazaki went silent.
'So what was it you wanna ask? Oh, how to coax a present?' Miku broke the silence.
'Here,' Yamazaki held up a tulip 'For you, so forgive me.'
Impossible to ask Miku for advice, Yamazaki resorted to Reiko. Reiko understood perfectly well what Yamazaki wanted for birthday - to spend time together with Fujio and she kindly granted his wish. 'This is my birthday present for you then.' Reiko called up Miku and arranged for a girl's night out (translate: shopping) on Yamazaki's birthday so that they wouldn't interfere.
Yamazaki waited and waited but Fujio didn't show up. He slumped on the sofa. Cigarette butts filled up the ashtray. The clock was ticking away and the night, silent. Suddenly a voice called 'Are you sleeping? What a gloomy birthday.' Yamazaki looked up and saw Fujio's angry face. Before he could say anything, Fujio gave him a hard slap on the face.
'Why don't you ask me directly? You're indeed a nasty man. It's already beyond the limits of what desire would allow us. You know it.'
Rules, Rules, Rules. What a stupid chant. So a birthday present was beyond the limits of desire. We say 'I want to be loved' in our language, but there is no 'I want to be desired.'
'Purr like a cat. It's alrite if I ask you to imitate the sound of a cat as a birthday present, isn't it?'
'Here. Open it.'
'You don't want a gift. You want something like this, a chain that'll tie you up.'
Fujio called the chain 'a dog collar', but Yamazaki forgot his dog mechanism. He took off the chain and said 'adieu'. He disappeared and didn't ever come back.
That happened much later into the story.But we'll see the chain again ^^

The Old Days...
'The old days, or now? Which is more fun for you, Fujio?'
The speed dial numbers, they change everytime one breaks up. The girlfriend's number gets reset because a relationship is broken. But Yamazaki's number is always No.1 and it's probably going to stay there forever.
The old school days or now. Which is more fun for you, Fujio?
'My girlfriend says I'm not looking at her! What does that mean, Yamazaki? Help me!'
Yamazaki smirked and got up from his chair.
'Because you're in love with me.'
'Oh c'mon, just tell me!'
Fujio was always after Yamazaki back then, asking him everything from academic questions to girlfriends. It was Yamazaki who confessed initially, but Fujio the first to say 'I love you.'

[Ring Ring]
'Hello?'
'Don't pick up the phone idiot.I don't expect someone who's supposed to be out to pick up the phone. Don't you have a girl or two you can ask out on weekends?!' Yamazaki cursed on the other end of the line.
'Don't YOU have a girl or two you can ask out?'
...
'Come.'Yamazaki finally spoke.
'Hahahaha.'
'Get here in 30 seconds or else the meal will get cold. I didn't cook for you. I just cooked too much.'
Feeble excuses.
'Hahaa.'

Just like the old school days.

Don't regret it, Fujio. We can't go back.

We can't.

Happiness
'In sickness and in health, even when you have a woman, even when you don't. Even when you're a guy and lack cuteness, and a good-for-nothing. Have a dino-brain and a meanie. I love you.'
Pause...
'I love you but I can't hold any responsibility -'
Smack!
(Fujio's nose dripping blood but he continued...)
'I can't promise I'll make you happy or never make you sad. But I promise I'll never throw away this feeling that I love you. So here I vow.'

'In sickness and in health, I , Kenji Yamazaki, vow to keep on loving my 'bride' Eihiko Fujio. I said it first so give me a prize.'
'God, please set it up so that Fujio will love me forever.'
'Fujio, Fujio, Fujio, Fujio...' tears streamed down his face.
'I'll always love you Yamazaki. God already set it in stone.'
'Not a ring exchange. But a collar exchange.'
Fujio took off the chain he was wearing and put it around Yamazaki's neck.

'Ha Ha Ha Ha!'
Yamazaki laughed.
For the first time in his entire life, Yamazaki the meanie laughed till his tears were dry.

So the rule is still 'within the limits of what love permits us.'

'What about the kiss of vow?' Reiko asked.
'What??! In front of everyone??' Fujio was sweating in fear.
But Yamazaki didn't care.

So, they kissed in front of everyone...

Scribbles

Not sure if it's the tranlsation or the context itself (btw, thanks to Nakama & MFY for the translation project), it took me 4 times back to back until I finally understood the gist of this story. First time reading, I have no idea what those 'love' and 'desire' (or 'ai' & 'koi') big concepts were about, they seem to be there just to confuse you and serve no other purpose. About the women, Miku is a lot easier to understand than Reiko. I simply don't get Reiko's logic but I finally understood that Reiko is far smarter and calculating.
She got it much earlier than Miku, who didn't understand until the end (like me...sadly)
'Love' and 'Desire' are just men's excuses to hold on to their women. - Reiko
Fujio needs Miku, this vague existence, to hold his feelings and fears in check. They love their women while they desire each other. What a pitiful facade. Without 'love', desire will break out of its bound. Reiko only knew too well. She didn't want the guys to be separated. The more they do, they more they desire each other and she will definitely lose her position as Kenji's girlfriend. Give the guys some space and be contented in the love monopoly.

'Fujio is broken. Someone needs to fix him.' - Yamazaki
Fujio has become the bastard, the bad guy. It's nonsense that nobody would be hurt. It's just a matter of who'll break the rules, who'll be the bad guy. Fujio did. He did it for Yamazaki so that he could be with him for decades and decades. The somber expression and the sudden decision scared Yamazaki. 'I raped Fujio's feelings. He became a bastard because of me.' Yamazaki thought. So he made his decision as well - to break up with Fujio forever. 'Let's go back to the old days. Just friends from now on.'he said. There was a prickling pain in his heart. He didn't know what to do with it so he cheated, he lied and he became his worst version.

Links

Scan
Online Scans & Translations done by Nakama & Memory For You
(you need to learn mIRC in order to get the scans.vist their websites for details)

Review
@Aestheticism by Jeanne (I really love tihs one, lots fun to read)