Wrapping her black mist around her, Lilith sulkily came to his side. "What in Hell do you want, Lou? I was trying to sleep. Not that I can with that racket HE's making!"

"If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred million times, DON'T CALL ME LOU! My name is Lucifer! You know it means Son of the Morning. Lou is a name for boxers and comedians – whatever they will someday be!"

"Just be glad I don't call you Louie!!! Anyway, what's going on?"

"HE seems to be building a place HE calls The Garden of Eden."

"Nice name, I guess." She looked up and suddenly gasped. "Oh my, what is that? Can you say drop dead gorgeous? I'll take ten of those in assorted colors!!!"

Frowning, Lucifer said to his consort, "You may be the Queen of Air and Darkness, Lilith, but remember where your bread and butter comes from!" But, as he turned around, she was on her way up.

 "I'm just going up to take a better look – I mean to reconnoiter for you, darling!"

Stopping in the shade of a tree, Lilith looked down at the man (she guessed that's what he was called) sleeping there. He was just a little short for her taste, but he had nice dark wavy hair, a gorgeous nose, long lashes, and broad shoulders. She reached down to touch him, when a voice said, "Stop!" Suddenly an angel was next to her, female, long dark wavy hair.

"Oh, it's you, Cordelia. Slumming? Nice robe. Good to know you've seen the softer side of Heaven!"

"Let him alone, Lila. He's not for you. He's HIS new creation. He is nice looking, but he's not my type." Briefly a picture of her beloved archangel Wesley came into her mind, sitting at their table, writing scrolls of prophecy in all those strange languages he invented.  Writing, writing, writing. . . Suddenly Adam, as she had been told he was called, started looking even better to her. She'd have to hide all of Wesley's quills to bring the romance back into their eternal lives! Maybe tonight she could get him to take her out to dance at The Gold!

"He is if I want him to be, Cordy. And don't call me Lila!" Even before the Fall, when she was still in Heaven, they never could get along.

Just then a voice came thundering through the clouds. "Cordelia! It's almost dinnertime and we promised Willow & Oz that we'd Cherub sit for them. Grab some fruit and bring it with you, please!"

Cordelia frowned. She hated Cherub sitting, especially for Willow & Oz's litter. Last time Oz Jr. bit her when she took him out for his walk. Cherub sitting! More like cub sitting. "What is fruit, Wesley? And I have a nice manna roast in the oven."

"I understand those colorful balls hanging from the large plants are fruit. And I'm sick of manna. That's all we ever eat!" Cordelia sighed & flew over to one of the nearer trees. Lilith started to shape the mist around her into a short, very form-fitting garment. As Cordelia flew back carrying a half dozen peaches, Adam rolled off his side and onto his back. Lilith and Cordelia both stared.

"What are you looking at, Cordy? And close your mouth. You look like a fish with it open like that."

"I – I – I didn't know he didn't have a navel."

"Of course not, you silly twit. He wasn't born, he was created. But you know and I know that's not what you were looking at! Cordelia blushed & headed up to Heaven. Lilith sat on the ground next to Adam and ran her hand over his stomach. Nice abs, she thought. Adam started to stir.

"Where am I? And who are you?" he stammered. Lilith shifted to show her figure to better advantage.

"I'm Lilith, and I have been sent to be your companion. This is the Garden of Eden, and you are Adam."

"Are you sure? About the companion bit, I mean. Adam & Lilith just doesn't have that ring to it."

"Very sure." She drew closer to him, but as she was about to touch him, Wesley appeared, eating a peach and carrying a bunch of scrolls.

"Cease & desist, Lilith. I have been sent to teach you the great prophecies, Adam. Hear and learn." Wesley began reading from one of the scrolls – in ancient Sumerian!

"English, please!" Adam & Lilith said together.

"Oh, sorry. Forgot that nobody but me knows ancient Sumerian yet." Wesley began reading. Five minutes later both Adam and Lilith were sound asleep.

"Good job, Wes." Wesley glanced over and saw Archangel Angel, his wife Buffy, and St. Kate, all carrying flaming swords. Buffy's held manna shish kebob, which she nibbled at. She offered some to Wesley, but he shook his head.

"But Angel, he didn't learn anything. He just fell asleep. So did Lilith." Wesley looked quite perplexed and disappointed.

"That's exactly what you were supposed to do," Kate chimed in. "Come on down, Giles & Willow!" Angel picked up Lilith, carried her to the gateway to Hell, & dropped her down. Giles & Willow came flying down & landed next to Adam. They immediately began removing one of his ribs.

"Leave some meat on it & I'll barbecue it for us," Buffy offered. Willow looked sick at that thought.

"Sorry Buffy, but HE needs this to make a woman. Evidently Adam needs a companion, but Lilith is just not it!" Giles explained. They took the rib & flew back up to Heaven. Five minutes later they were back with a pretty blonde girl. They laid her on the ground next to Adam & flew back home. Angel, Buffy, & Kate walked back behind some bushes & finished off the shish kebobs.

When Adam awoke, he was surprised to see that the brunette in the wispy outfit had been replaced by a lovely, totally nude blonde. He smiled. With babes like these around, this Eden appeared to be a great place! She started to stir. Then she stared at him. "Who are you?"

"And where am I? I know, I know. Those were my first questions too. Madam, I'm Adam," he said, smiling smugly at the realization that he had just created the first palindrome. "And you are?"

She frowned & searched her very short memory for her name. "Is it Rosemary? That's for remembrance. . ."

"No, I don't think so. Adam & Rosemary? How about Eve? Make up your mind, because we have to start naming these animals."

"Eve's okay, I guess. Why do we want to name the animals?"

"It's our job, so let's get started." Just then Angel, Buffy, & Kate came out, licking their fingers. "Who are you guys & where did you get the food?'

"I am the Archangel Angel, and I have come to tell you the rules of the Garden."

"Archangel Angel? Isn't that a little redundant?" Adam asked. Eve nodded.

"Now that you mention it, that does sound a little silly," Buffy chimed in.

"Why don't we call you Liam? You look like a Liam," suggested St. Kate. Angel frowned.

"No, thanks. I'll stick with Angel. Anyway, Adam & - what was her name again?"

"Eve!" everyone chorused. Angel looked a little embarrassed.

"Okay, here is the rule. You can do anything you want here but don't touch the tree in the middle of the garden."

"What happens if I touch it?" Adam asked a little belligerently.

Angel brandished his flaming sword. "I'll cut your hand off!" Adam looked a little sick at the thought, while Eve stepped in front of him and shook her fist at Angel.

"Are they allowed to have sex?" Angel didn't have to look around to know that Anya was sticking her head through the window of Hell. Who else would ask that question?

"HE didn't say they couldn't, so I guess it's not against the law," Kate said. With that the three headed back up to Heaven, while Anya went back down to find Xander.

"What's sex?" Eve asked.

"Why don't we try to figure that out?" Adam pulled her down to the grass and started kissing her.

Meanwhile, back in Hell, Lucifer was plotting against HIM. Turning these new creatures against HIM would be a crushing defeat! "Minions! Thralls! Come to me."

Nobody came. A few well-placed shots of flame brought them all running. Lilith was rubbing her sore bottom where she had landed after Angel dumped her. "Lee, come here right now!"

Lee slithered in, both hands over his head, protecting it as best he could and brushing the flies away from the big hole in the back of it. Lilith frowned at him, and he stuck his forked tongue out at her. They had always brought out the worst in each other.

"Lee, you are about to learn the true meaning of the term, ‘snake in the grass.' I want you to go up there & persuade that woman to eat one of those apples from the tree in the middle of the garden," Lucifer ordered.

"Why? Are they poisonous?" When Lucifer shook his head, Lee went on. "Are they fattening?" Lilith's eyes suddenly lit up & she headed for the kitchen.

"What are you doing, Lilith?" Lucifer demanded.

"I was just going to invent chocolate."

"I see. You plan to tempt her with chocolate, make her fat, and make Adam lose interest in her so that you can get him." Lucifer's face darkened dangerously. Lilith trembled ever so slightly and turned away from the kitchen.

"Not that I need to tell you this, Lee, but the apples are forbidden. Make her eat one & share it with Adam and HE'll kick them out of HIS precious garden. Now go." Lee crawled away as fast as he could. Anya & Xander went back to their bedroom. Lilith went off to do her nails and try out new hairdos. Lucifer was not amused.

Having just figured out what sex was, Adam fell asleep again. Eve was bored. She wished someone would invent television. Just then she heard a hissing sound. She looked around. There was a creature that looked like a cross between a man and a serpent, with a large hole in his head. "Is it Halloween? Neat costume!"

"I have come to tell you that the tree in the middle of the garden is the tree of wisdom. If you eat its fruit, you'll be smart enough to invent television!" (If there was one thing Lee could sympathize with, it was boredom.)

"But the angel with the flaming sword and the silly name told us not to."

"Oh, pay no attention to him. He's just jealous that you're down here. He wants to invent television himself."

"Are you sure the apples aren't fattening? I want to watch my figure so that Adam will watch my figure." She grinned a little 'I'm so clever' grin. Lee shook his head in disgust. This would be easier than he thought.

"No, they're lo-cal. Anyway, one is enough." He slithered toward the tree. Eve followed him. They did look delicious. She picked one and sniffed it. Could it really be low calorie?

Still holding the apple, she strode back to the tree where she had left Adam asleep, Lee slithering along behind her as fast as he could. Adam was awake again, muttering something about "No shoes, no toilet."

"What's a toilet? Do we need one? After all, we haven't had anything to eat or drink yet. Shoes might not be a bad idea, though. These heffadinks & popaloozas leave icky stuff on the ground."

"You mean bovinus erectus and equus gigantus. That's what I've named them. Heffadinks & popaloozas are silly names."

Eve was a little annoyed. "They don't really need silly Latin names, either."

Lee chimed in, "How about cow and horse?"

"Good compromise," Adam agreed. "Okay, so this is a horse," he said, pointing at the creature with the udders that was standing there chewing her cud.

"That's the cow!!!" Eve and Lee both exclaimed together. Adam blushed. Lee realized he'd better not let the apple be forgotten. "Speaking of food, Eve. . ."

"Oh, I almost forgot. Have a bite of this, Adam. It'll make you so smart you could be anything you want to be. Even a lawyer!!!"

"But the angel called Angel said not to touch that tree, remember?"

"I didn't touch the tree. I just picked the apple. It was hanging down really low." She held it out to him. They each took a bite, and then they finished it. Suddenly they realized they were naked.

"I couldn't possibly go to court or see clients like this, Eve. Can you make me a nice suit or two?" But Eve was way ahead of him. She was designing a whole wardrobe for both of them. Maybe some nice evening clothes. Perhaps one of those angel couples could invite them to The Gold one evening.

"There's a really nice place down below called the Pitch Black," Lee added. He had never been there, as they refused to let him in, but he had heard Anya and Darla talking about it. Lilith, he understood, loved it. Adam & Eve ignored him, but it didn't matter. He had done his job. Now he could go back and maybe, just maybe, Lucifer would fix the hole in his head! But before he could leave, there was a crash of thunder. Suddenly they were surrounded by angels. Some of them held flaming swords. Willow, Wesley, & Cordelia each held a little creature which seemed to change from cherub to dog – no, wolf—and back, except for the one Cordelia held, which was a beautiful little redhaired cherub who just snuggled up to her. Oz held two, who seemed to remain wolves and kept nipping at him.

Angel pointed his sword at Adam & Eve. "Begone from this garden! You have broken the only rule. You are exiled from Paradise." He gestured toward the gate. Adam instinctively put both hands behind his back while Eve stepped protectively in front of him. He gently moved her aside.

"Where's your warrant? Where's your writ of habeas corpus? Do you even have jurisdiction here? I demand a change of venue!" Eve smiled. Adam would make a fine lawyer! Angel frowned. He hadn't expected this. He looked at St. Kate.

"Unfortunately, he's right. We didn't bring any papers with us. We can't do this now. It would be thrown out of court."

Angel brandished his sword again. "Get out now! While you still have both hands!"

Wesley handed his little Ozling over to a startled Giles, whipped a scroll & quill out of his pockets (Cordelia was startled to discover that she hadn't been able to hide them all), and started writing. "First let's kill all the lawyers. Who should say that? Yes, it should be Shakespeare!"

"Hurry up & let's get this over with. You promised to take me to The Gold tonight, and it closes in two hours," Buffy whined at Angel. He looked at her, her long shining golden hair, her soft white wings, the shining white robe she wore. She was so beautiful. Then he looked over toward the gates of Hell. Darla was sitting there, dressed in the shortest, tightest, lowest cut mist he had ever seen. Buffy grabbed him by his left wing and almost pulled it out of its socket. He had forgotten how strong she was. He turned away from Darla. Cordelia was helping Eve pack, having given Willow Jr. to Kate to hold.

"Wow, did you make these?" Eve nodded proudly. "I can't imagine how you could make such great things with just leaves."

"Let me see, too," said Willow, coming over, her little wolfling nipping at her neck. From the gates of Hell Lilith, Anya, and Darla were also looking at Eve's designs and planning knockoffs.

Finally the procession made its way to the gates of Heaven. Adam & Eve were ushered out unceremoniously, and the gates were closed and locked behind them. All of the angels left for heaven except for Riley, who pulled guard duty and had to stand there with his flaming sword. He knew that Angel had chosen him for this because Buffy liked him. Well, Angel would get his one day!

"Where will we go, Adam?" Eve asked. She deferred to him because he had eaten more of the apple and thus had more knowledge. At least she would let him think so!

"Los Angeles, of course. That's our kind of place!" Each of them carrying their clothes, some fruit, and bottles of water, they headed toward the sunset.

Back in Hell, Lucifer was not completely satisfied. Lee had done his job, so he closed up the hole in his head. However, he had to shrink Lee's brain a little to make it close. Also, he had made sure a few flies were inside. After all, he was Lucifer!

In a black mist copy of Eve's negligee, Lilith came over to Lucifer. "So what are you going to do for an encore?"

"The most vile, the most evil, the most reprehensible thing I've ever done. I'm going to start a law firm!" Even Lilith gasped at this. He eyed Lilith lasciviously. That was quite a nice negligee, especially in black mist. "But for now, let's go to bed."

"I'm not really tired," Lilith said hopefully.

"Good. Neither am I. I'm not tired at all." Taking her by the elbow, he headed for the bedroom. Lilith sighed to herself. This was why they called it Hell!