Suddenly he heard a strange sound. Did one of the demons from the firm get in? He didn't think so, as the apartment had a number of protective charms around the doors and windows. As he rose from his chair, he wondered if he could make it to the nightstand where he kept a gun, a crucifix, and a bottle of holy water. After all, you never know just what you'll be facing.

"Don't get up, Lindsey. You don't need any of those things." Stunned, Lindsey sank back into his chair. The voice was familiar. But it couldn't be. Bob, who had been something of a friend to him, was dead. He blinked his eyes. Bob Price, a huge briefcase in each hand and a big hole where his liver used to be, was standing in front of him. Looking at Lindsey sadly, Bob went on. "I've come here to warn you. If you have a chance to get out of Wolfram & Hart, grab it. I should have, but I didn't. So look what happened to me. At least I had been trying to do something good when I let the senior partners down, which is why I'm here now and not burning in hell. I have a chance to work off my sins by helping others, so I have come to tell you that you will receive three visitors tonight. They will try to show you more about yourself than you can imagine. You will receive the first one at midnight. Now I must go. Remember me, Lindsey." Giving a sad smile, Bob Price vanished into the darkness. Lindsey rubbed his eyes, but then suddenly sleep overtook him.

As the hands of his Rolex, his Christmas gift to himself, pointed to 12:00, he heard a beautiful voice. "Wake up, lazybones. We have places to go and things to do, and then I have to get my beauty sleep!" He opened his eyes and blinked as one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen was standing in front of him. Her dark hair was piled on top of her head in a fashionable style, but one that made him want to pull each hairpin out of it slowly and watch the strands come down to frame her lovely face. She wore a red dress, short, tight, and strapless. "My name is Cordelia and I'm here to show you your past. And for this I had to leave a great party!" She put her hands on her hips. "Let's go, Evil Lawyer Guy. Take my hand, and I do mean just my hand." As Lindsey stared at this gorgeous creature, she said, "And close your mouth. You look like a fish gaping at me that way!"

Lindsey rose and took her hand, which was soft. Soft perfume wafted around her. Then suddenly they were out of his apartment and in one of the most run-down places he had ever seen. He saw a beautiful dark-haired woman. Mom! Then he noticed the two little kids. They had to be Elaine and him at about 6 and 7. It was the Christmas before they were in the shack. Mom was nursing Artie and reading to Elaine and him while Dickie was asleep on the floor. Soft music from the battered old radio played in the background: the Nutcracker Suite. Dad was nowhere to be found. Mom finished the book, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night." She closed the book, got up, put a now sleeping Artie down in the drawer that served as his crib, and went into the kitchen. When she came out, she had a cookie and a small glass of milk for her two oldest children.

Lindsey tiptoed over to his mom and whispered in her ear, "Mom, I hope you have a gift for Elaine. I know she'll be disappointed if she doesn't get anything. I know there's no money to get anything for me, and that's okay, but it's different for Elaine."

"Lindsey, I'm sure Santa will bring something for you and Elaine and Dickie and even baby Artie. Trust him."

"Mom, I know there's no Santa. It's you and dad."

Mary Margaret shook her finger gently at her oldest son. "Linny, Santa is the spirit of goodness in all of us. Now you go and get dressed for Mass. Dad will be home to take you & Elaine soon."

Dad did come home and take his two oldest children to Mass. He wasn't drunk, but he had been drinking a little. Lindsey prayed for Elaine to have something under the tree, if there was a tree, of course.

When they returned from Mass, there was a tree, small and scrawny, but a tree nonetheless, with a few little decorations and the paper and popcorn chains that Lindsey & Elaine had made. Under the tree were four wrapped gifts. "Santa came while you were gone, Lindsey." She handed him a gift, but he put it down until Elaine had opened hers. There was a little charm bracelet for Elaine, a ball for Dickie, a stuffed animal for Artie, and, for Lindsey, a book: King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table! Lindsey hugged the book and took it over into the corner, where he sat down and read happily all day.

Lindsey blinked away the tears. He had been so happy at home, even though they were poor. Later, with Mom gone, it was never the same.

Cordelia nudged him, perhaps a little harder than she should have. "Take my hand again and stop blubbering. It's time to go on." He took her hand.

And found himself in a small but immaculately clean little apartment. Elaine was in the process of removing a turkey from the oven, while Lindsey and Tony set the table. As they sat down, Tony raised his glass. Lindsey noticed that Elaine had cranberry juice while he & Tony had wine. He wondered why.

"This has been a great year for our family. Lindsey finished his freshman year of college with a 4.0 grade point average and, from what I hear, got another kind of education as well." Lindsey blushed at this. Tony continued, "I did pretty well myself this year and may get an invitation to the Dodgers spring training."

"Hear, hear," Lindsey & Elaine said together.

"But I've saved the best for last. We just learned yesterday that Elaine is expecting a baby around the beginning of September!" He toasted his wife while Lindsey jumped up from the table and ran to hug his sister. Then he hugged Tony.

"I am so very happy for you two. You deserve all the best. You better make me the godfather!"

"Who else, Lin, but my brother-in-law, my best friend, & the best shortstop I ever played with!"

Memories of that happy Christmas again brought a tear to Lindsey's eyes. "Come on, guy. You know the routine by now," Cordelia said, taking his hand.

Suddenly he was back in his chair. Cordelia was gone, but the memories lingered in his mind. He remembered other Christmases. Christmas with Parker in her apartment his freshman year because she didn't want to go back to the Centre, where there were too many memories of Christmases with her mother. Christmas of his senior year in college, where he learned that Paul Winslow had expected to be paid back for taking him on that skiing trip to Colorado. When he told Paul that he did not and never would do that sort of thing, Paul had thrown him out. He had hitchhiked back to LA and had never spoken to Paul, his fraternity brother, again. He looked at his watch. It was 1:15.

"Oops, sorry I'm late," the beautiful blonde girl in the leather pants and jacket said. Lindsey blinked. Was it the girl of his dreams? He knew it wasn't, as this girl had a stake in her hands. She was accompanied by a pretty redhead, dressed in a more artsy style. "I'm Buffy, and this is Willow. I'm your guide to Christmas presents."

"That's Christmas present," said Willow. "I'm not quite sure why I'm here, as I'm Jewish, but I often go along with Buffy. She's The Slayer, you know!"

"Do you associate with a vampire? Is he here?" Buffy asked suspiciously, looking around. Willow shook her head.

"Even if he does have a vampire client, now is not the time & place for this, Buff. Take my hand & let's go. We have a lot to do, and we're tired from patrolling."

Totally confused and wondering how these girls knew about Russell Winters, Lindsey gave a hand to each one.

He found himself inside a shabby but fastidiously cared for apartment. An old man sat in an armchair, while around him two girls and a teenaged boy, all Hispanic looking, were bustling around. The man looked familiar, but it wasn't until the young man in the Cougars jacket came into the apartment that he recognized his father. My God, how he's aged. And Artie is still in the gang! I should have known! The older girl, who was beautiful and gentle looking, ran to him & hugged him.

"Artie, I was so worried. Whenever you're late getting home, I think that they've discovered that you're an undercover cop and killed you." Artie's a cop! Who would have thought!

"I didn't want to have to go to the police station, so I had to find a secure place to call Kate Lockley. But I'm home now. What's for dinner?" he asked, as he kissed his dad on the cheek and hugged the younger girl briefly.

"Turkey ---- enchiladas!" the younger girl teased. But Artie knew they hadn't been able to afford a whole turkey, and Maria was still learning to cook American foods. He had always liked Mexican food, however, so it didn't matter. Helping his father out of the chair, Artie led him to the table. As the family gathered around it, Artie led them in saying grace. Lindsey looked around. There was a small tree, covered in homemade decorations, and a small pile of gaily wrapped presents. They seemed happy.

"See, Lindsey, you can be happy without having a lot of money. Now let's go on," Buffy said, taking his hand.

The next stop was his Aunt Maeve's. As he watched, she took a turkey breast out of the oven and placed it on a table set for two. Then, as she had "the sight," she could see what none of the others they had visited could. "Hello, Lindsey. I'm expecting you for dinner. Would you like to introduce me to your friends?"

Taken aback, Lindsey managed to greet his aunt and introduce Buffy and Willow. Aunt Maeve was particularly interested in Willow, who was a witch. After they had chatted a minute, Aunt Maeve said, "Be sure and get here by 1:00 Lindsey. I have some very special news to give you. It'll be nice having Christmas dinner with someone I love." Willow took Lindsey's hand and they were off.

He didn't recognize the apartment, but he knew most of the people there. Chris "Gruber Deal" Tyler was having a party. Most of the guests were from the more "open" areas of Wolfram & Hart, who didn't deal with vampires and demons but only with ordinary, albeit rich, clients. "Is everybody here?" asked Tom Simmons, from Contracts. He had an arm around Mary Reilley of the Tax section.

"I was hoping Lindsey would get here, but apparently he's not going to show up," Chris said.

"You invited somebody from that division?" Mary gasped. "I don't even like to pass them in the hall."

"Just Lindsey, & he's a good guy. It's not like I'd have asked Lee Mercer or Lila Morgan!"

"I should hope not! Are you sure you're right about Lindsey? I've heard stories about some of his clients," Tom replied.

"Maybe you should consider them just stories. Anyway, I like him, & I wish he'd come." Chris walked over to his secretary, who was standing under the mistletoe, and gave her a big kiss.

"Is that it?" Lindsey asked Buffy, but she shook her head.

"One more," she replied.

"But this one is special!" Willow chimed in, reaching for his hand. "Hold on, this is a long trip. We're off to Pittsburgh!"

It was a family dinner in a large and very lovely house. All eyes were on the young blonde woman at one side of the table. It was the girl from his dreams!

"Rosemary, we all wish you'd change your mind and stay here. This is where your family is, and we all love you," said an older woman, possibly an aunt.

"Aunt Becky, if I stayed here, I'd have to join the convent. My true love, my soulmate, is in Los Angeles. The time is right for me to go there."

"But how are you going to take care of yourself? You have such a good job here at Carnegie Mellon and you have family to live with. What will you do there?"

"Uncle Ted, I've loved living with you & Aunt Becky since my mom & dad died, and I do love my job, but I have a new job lined up at the classical music station in LA, where I'll be music librarian. And I'll be a soloist at St. Malachi's Church, which will pay me a little as well. I have a place to live, too, although I don't know how long I'll be staying there, and I've arranged to buy a car as well. I'll give you my address & home & work phone numbers. Don't worry, I'll call and write often."

"How can you be so sure that you'll meet this young man? You don't even know his name or where he lives."

"I've seen him so often. I've seen us meeting and having dinner together (and making love, although she wouldn't say that to her devout Catholic family) and just so many things. I know I'll find him very soon. So will you please take me to the airport tomorrow & see me off? I'll miss you."

Aunt Becky got up & kissed her niece. "I'm sorry that nobody on this side has ‘the sight,' so we'd know for sure that you're going to be all right. We just want you to be happy, darling."

"We will be, I promise you."

"I'll miss hearing your voice in the choir at St. Anne's. They'll never get a soprano soloist to match you. I'd love to hear you sing Ave Maria one more time," Uncle Jack chipped in.

"Glad to oblige, Uncle Jack." Her clear true soprano rose in the beautiful Schubert setting to Ave Maria.

"I can't wait to meet you, Rosemary," Lindsey whispered. Willow squeezed his hand and Buffy, to her own surprise, kissed his cheek.

"I lost my true love. I hope you can keep yours," the blonde slayer said. Then she & Willow took his hands. Before they left, Lindsey swore that he saw Rosemary wink at him.

Back in his room, Lindsey wondered if he had seen all the visitors, or if Willow hadn't counted, as she had just been along for the ride. Suddenly a man appeared in his room, young, handsome, with spiky hair, dressed all in black. His face transformed into a vampire face and then back again. He didn't say a word but just held out his hand. Then he pointed. . .

At a tombstone. Lindsey saw himself kneeling in front of it weeping. There were two names on it, with space for a third. He couldn't see the dates, but the names carved there were Rosemary McDonald and Lindsey McDonald Jr. "No, this can't be!" The spirit just shook his head and pointed in another direction.

In a gorgeously appointed mansion, Lindsey, dressed in a tux and looking about 15 years older, was handing a flat jewel box to a gorgeously and expensively dressed Cordelia. Cordelia! "Merry Christmas, Cordelia."

She took the box and opened it to find a diamond and ruby necklace and earrings. "How lovely, and so suitable for the wife of the next senior partner at Wolfram & Hart." She put the box down and began to put on the earrings. "That's why you told me to wear red tonight?"

"A thank you would be nice, Cordelia."

"Why? These really aren't for me. They're just decoration for ‘your wife,' that's all."

"Come off your high horse, Cordelia. I've kept my part of our bargain. You have all the money you could possibly want, you can come and go as you please as long as you don't do anything indiscreet to embarrass the firm or me, you have a son, and I haven't touched you since your pregnancy was confirmed ten years ago. All I asked of you was to be a good little trophy wife in public and to give me a child. It's not as if I'm keeping you from your true love. Wesley's been dead almost as long as Rosemary."

"I don't know. Maybe I thought you and I could help each other to heal or something. But maybe neither of us has any love left in our hearts, or at least none for anybody but Jimmy. Maybe we both deserve this." Picking up her full-length mink coat, she allowed him to help her into it. Then, taking his arm, they headed for their waiting limo and the Wolfram & Hart Christmas party.

"Spirit, are you showing me what will happen or what might happen? Can I change any of this?" But Angel just shook his head and pointed in another direction.

Lindsey, looking as if he were in his mid-50's, sat alone in the same room, looking into the fire, remembering the last words he had heard from his son. "I hate you. All you wanted was your precious little Lindsey back. I'm not him. I'm Jimmy! I can't compete with a ghost, especially not one who only lived a few minutes and never had a chance to make any mistakes or disappoint you. And Mom could never replace your precious Rosemary either. You never gave either of us a chance. I'm leaving you, but I'm sure you won't even notice that I'm gone. Mom and I are going away. And I don't want any of your money either." He had turned and stormed out the door. This was just a few days ago. On their way to the airport, Jimmy had lost control of the car, killing himself and Cordelia with him. Lindsey was truly alone. Nothing held any interest for him anymore. A long and empty life lay ahead of him. He had even stopped feeling Rosemary's presence. He walked to his desk, opened a drawer, took out his gun, and. . .

"No! Tell me I can change this. Please, Spirit, tell me!" He grabbed for Angel's arm but missed and found himself back in his chair in his apartment. He looked at his watch. It was 8:00. Turning on the television news, he saw from the date on Headline News that it was Christmas morning. He turned on his computer and pulled out the telephone book. Yes, here it is, Michael Ian McDonald. The address looks right. Lindsey dialed the number. A woman's voice, with a charming accent answered. Yes, it was the voice he had heard in the vision. "Sorry, wrong number. Merry Christmas," he said & hung up.

On the internet he located a local store that was open. He ordered a fully cooked turkey dinner with all the trimmings sent to his father's address. "Please put on the card,

‘Thanks for everything. Don't risk thanking me. Merry Christmas. KL'." Then he ordered a turkey breast sent to Aunt Maeve's house, along with a good bottle of wine. He also ordered a bottle of champagne sent to Chris Kane's apartment with a note saying, "See you tonight, Buddy. Merry Christmas from Lindsey." He showered, shaved, and presented himself at his Aunt Maeve's place at 12:50.

"Lindsey, I'm so glad to see you. Thanks for the turkey breast and the wine. Let's catch up." Aunt Maeve hugged him and led him to the table. After dinner, she said, "Now here's my gift to you." She handed him a tarot card. It showed two nude people embracing, and the caption read, "The Lovers." On the back she had written a date, time, and the address of a local Starbucks. "This is when & where you'll meet your Rosemary. Take good care of her, Lindsey. She's a treasure. And by the way, you'll see that sweet little witch Willow again one day. She'll be a friend to both of you. Now I know you have a party to go to, so get going. I love you."

"I love you too, Aunt Maeve." He saw Aunt Maeve in the hospital two days later, just before she died.

 On December 28, Lindsey walked into a Starbucks and saw a pretty blonde girl sitting at a table by herself. But that's the start of another story.