"Hi, I'm Larry Finn, and I'm a sophomore in architecture."
"I'm Matilda Scruggs, but I hate my name, so I use an alias!" He had to chuckle at that. The girl had quite a sense of humor. For the first and, as it turned out, the only time in his life, Larry Finn was in love. For the rest of the mixer, he stayed by her side, looking daggers at anyone who dared come near her. They talked about a lot of things. She was a voice major and a local girl. However, she didn't intend to go into opera or theatre; instead, she thought she might teach music in school. She loved Pittsburgh except for the cold weather and was a big Pirates fan. She also loved opera, ballet, Shakespeare, and Star Trek.
"I'm from Iowa, so this is a really fantastic place to me. I have a younger brother named Riley, who wants to go to California for school."
"I would have loved to go to California, but I really need to stay close to home for a while. Besides, Carnegie Mellon is one of the best schools of fine arts in the country."
"May I buy you a pizza? I know the best place to go. That's one of the benefits of mixing with someone other than another freshman. Although you probably know more good places, being local."
"Actually I live out in the suburbs, so I haven't come down here to Oakland much. I'll let you lead me to the best pizza." He found himself, to his surprise, offering her his arm, which she took.
Larry was right; Antonio's had the best pizza she had ever tasted. They washed it down with a pitcher of diet soda. As they ate, they talked about their families. He had just the one brother; she was an only child. She lived at home because she knew how much it meant to her mother and her dad. It meant a lot to her as well, but she could never tell him or anyone else why. She knew that they would be dead in about a year and a half and there was nothing she could do to prevent it, so she wanted to be with them as much as she could.
"Why don't you say your mother and your father or your mom and your dad?"
"Because Dad is not my father. My father died before I was born, but Dad has always been there for me and I couldn't love him any more if he were my biological father. He's the one who got me interested in baseball and Star Trek. We came to a couple of games each month every year since I was about 6. Mom really didn't care for baseball, so she stayed home. I love both of them very much, but I wish I could have known my real father. Dad is his older brother, and he lost his wife when they were very young, so he & my mother married so he could help her take care of me."
"My parents will be celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary this coming summer. Riley & I want to plan something special for them." He wondered what Rosemary would look like in 25 – no, 29 – years. After all, they both had to graduate before he married her. And make no mistake, this was the girl he would marry!
After they were done eating, he walked her to her car. "Please give me your phone number. I'll give you mine just so you can call to let me know you got home safely." My God, that's lame, he thought. She smiled, just a trifle wistfully, he thought.
"Okay, Larry." She wrote hers down on a piece of paper, tore it off, & handed it to him. Then she wrote his down.
"Can we meet for lunch tomorrow between classes?" he asked. She nodded. "How about noon at Skibo?" He tried not to sound too anxious.
"Great. I'll see you then. And I will call you, worrywart!" She drove off, waving.
When she got home, she found her mother in the kitchen baking cookies. Dad was in the family room reading and listening to the game on the radio. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" Kathleen asked her daughter.
"Why do you think something's wrong?"
"Because you look both sad and guilty at the same time. You met someone, didn't you? A nice boy, whom you like, but he likes you more than you like him, right?"
"Oh, Mom, I'm so glad I decided to stay home. I don't know what I'd do without you. I do feel bad. He's so sweet. What do I do?"
"You're going to have to decide for yourself. What do you want to do? Can you keep him as a friend?"
"Mom, tell me something. I really need to know. My father was your first, wasn't he?" As her mother nodded, she went on. "I know I won't be my soulmate's first. I've ‘seen' him with women, but he's a man – gosh, that's sexist of me—and three years older. But even though you love Dad, it's not the same, is it?"
"No, it isn't, and it's not for him either. But it's the best that either of us can have. We do love each other, just not the way we loved our soulmates. If you want to wait until you meet him, I do believe it will be worth it. But again, it's your choice." She hugged her daughter. "Whatever you do, be kind to this young man. Tell me about him. And you can lick the bowl!"
"What do you mean she can lick the bowl, Kathleen? It's mine!" Kevin teased as he walked into the kitchen. He gave Rosemary a quick hug. Just then the phone rang. He picked it up. "Rosemary, it's for you."
"Hi, Larry. I just got home about 5 minutes ago. Yes, I'm safe. Thanks for calling. I had a great time & I'll see you tomorrow. Good night." She hung up. Then she headed for room. Lying down on her bed, she closed her eyes and tried to see if she could find her soulmate.
*****
Lindsey sat on a chair in the corner of the living room at his fraternity house reading a book. Paul Winslow entered, sat down, and, after realizing that Lindsey was too engrossed to see him, went over to him and put his hand on Lindsey's shoulder. "Still reading? You always have your nose in a book."
"When classes start tomorrow, I won't have time to read, between studying and working and preparing for the LSAT's. Anyway, I want to finish this. It's a really good book: The Talented Mr. Ripley."
Paul plucked it out of his hands, being careful to save his place. "What's it about?"
"It's about a psychopath named Tom Ripley who envies another young man so much that he kills him and takes over his life. One of the characters, Dickie Greenlaw, reminds me of you. He's a real golden boy, rich, handsome, a guy who has everything."
"Maybe I'll read it when you're done. So how come you're rooming with Ed Scott?"
Taking his book back, Lindsey replied, "He's the only other person in the fraternity who knows how to study. If I room with him, we can shut our door and get our work done. If it weren't for the two of us, you'd all be on academic probation!"
"I guess your two 4.0 grade point averages do help at that! Luckily, I don't need the kind of grades you make. I'll just go into the family business. So tell me, did you spend the summer with Cathy?"
"No, her parents dragged her off to Europe for the summer. They wanted to get her away from the poor boy."
"How did they know? You don't dress or talk or act like you're poor."
"I don't know, maybe they just got vibes or something. But they told me right out that I'm not one of their kind. Maybe it's for the best."
"What do you mean? Aren't you in love with her? I was expecting to find the two of you engaged by this time?"
Smiling ruefully, Lindsey answered, "I like her, I really do, but I don't love her and I never will. I hope she found somebody else. She's a great girl & deserves the best, but I'm not it for her. I don't want to hurt her, but I'm afraid I can't help it."
"Don't tell me there's somebody else? I didn't know you were seeing someone. Was it somebody you met this summer?"
"No, it's a long story, and I don't feel like telling it now. I think I'd like to finish my book and go to bed, if you don't mind."
Paul put his hand on Lindsey's shoulder. "Sure, Lin. See you tomorrow." As he walked away, he looked back at Lindsey, but he was back into his book and didn't notice the look on his friend's face. Rosemary did. He's in love with my soulmate! This could be really bad news. I wish I could warn him. He's not the person everyone thinks he is.
Rosemary did meet Larry for lunch the next day, and they began dating. She did her best to keep it lighthearted, but he was obviously in love with her. Finally she brought him home for dinner. It was a mistake, as it gave him false hope. When his brother Riley came in to see him and to look at the two major universities in town, Carnegie Mellon and Pitt, Larry brought Rosemary along. She was amazed at the resemblance between the two brothers. Although Riley was about 3 inches taller and maybe 20 pounds heavier, they looked almost like twins. The three of them had a good time together, but, before he left, Riley told Larry not to get his hopes up. Larry didn't want to listen, however.
Larry had never been a womanizer, but he wasn't a virgin either. He had had a steady girl in high school, and they had been intimate. Rosemary wouldn't let him go any father than kissing, and not too much of that either. Finally, he brought matters to a head.
"Rosemary, I love you. I am planning to marry you. In fact, if you want me to, I'll buy you a ring for Christmas. But I can't go on like this forever. We've been seeing each other for three months and I haven't tried to take advantage of you. Isn't it time we made love?"
"I'm sorry, Larry. I really like you, but I don't love you and I never will."
"You know, you really are heartless. I understand that the people in the music department call you Turandot or the Ice Princess. Well, I will make you fall in love with me if it takes all four years (he was in the second year of a five-year program)."
Later that night, Rosemary thought about what he said. She hadn't known people called her Turandot, although, thinking about it, that was appropriate. Turandot was a Chinese empress in a Puccini opera. She rejected all of her suitors and had them killed until her true love found her. Ironically, she was working on Turandot for opera workshop, but the part she was assigned was Liu, a slave girl who sacrificed herself for love of Prince Calaf, the man Turandot had been waiting for.
In California, Lindsey was faced with the same problem. Cathy loved him and was expecting to marry him when they graduated. She had a trust fund of her own, which had come to her on her 21st birthday. Naturally she would pay her husband's way through law school wherever he wanted to go. Although the thought had crossed his mind that it would be the easy way out, and he really did like Cathy, it would have been tantamount to prostituting himself. He told Paul about it; Paul was quite sympathetic. "You know her parents are not going to let the two of you spend the holidays together. Why not come skiing in Aspen with me? At least that will get both of you through Christmas and New Years before you break her heart."
Lindsey had always wanted to ski, and Paul had become a really good friend lately, so he agreed with pleasure. When he told Aunt Maeve, he thought she'd be happy for him, but she told him not to go.
"Am I going to fall off a mountain and break my neck or my leg or something?"
"No, but you shouldn't go. I wish you'd listen to me."
"If I'm not going to be hurt or killed, how bad can it be?" He realized that Aunt Maeve was just sad that he wouldn't be there for Christmas. But he'd make it up to her.
When he & Paul arrived in Aspen, Lindsey was overwhelmed. Between the time they left the airport and arrived at the lodge, he had seen a number of famous people, some of whom knew Paul. I'm in heaven, he thought. Then Paul opened the door to a luxurious suite. "Hey, Paul, this is great. Where am I staying?"
"Right here. Don't you like it?"
"So do I get the sofa? That's okay, I don't mind."
Paul closed the door behind him, put his arms around Lindsey, and kissed him passionately. Lindsey drew back and looked at him with shock. "You'll share the bed with me, of course. It's king-sized. I've been wanting you all year."
"Paul, how did you get this idea? Was it something I said or did?"
"It was obvious. Cathy had everything, but you didn't want her. You had to be gay. I read that book and figured that you were trying to tell me you cared about me but didn't want the other guys to know. I mean it's obvious that you're Tom Ripley and I'm Dickie Greenlaw. But you can have me. I'm yours. We have a whole week together, and we can spend all of it in bed."
"No, you're wrong. I don't love Cathy because she's just not the right girl for me. I'm not gay and never have been interested in anything but women. If I gave you the wrong impression, I'm sorry. I thought we were just friends."
"Not any more, Lindsey. If you don't stay with me, you can just get the hell back to LA any way you can." He opened the door, pushed Lindsey out, and slammed it in his face.
Picking up his bag, which had been out in the hall, Lindsey went down to the coffee shop and sat down at a table. He counted the money he had with him; definitely not enough for even a bus ticket back to LA. Ordering a cup of hot chocolate, he pondered his options. Definitely hitchhiking. That didn't make him very happy. A pretty young girl came and sat down next to him. "Hello, Salty Goodness. I'm Cordelia."
"No, you're jailbait. What are you, 14?"
A man, obviously her father, came up to them. "Are you trying to pick up my daughter?" he demanded angrily. "She's only 15."
"I'm sorry, sir. I thought she was about 18. I'm leaving now." Lindsey got up and headed for the highway.
He was very lucky. All four of the rides he took were decent people doing a good deed for Christmas. One was a priest driving to his new parish. Lindsey talked to him about what happened. "I can forgive him for thinking I'm gay, but not for throwing me out like this. I'm lucky that you and the other people I got rides with came along. Thanks so much."
"You should forgive him, Lindsey. Let God punish him. After all, He must have been watching over you. Is this where you wanted to go?"
Shaking the priest's hand, Lindsey got out of the car & knocked on Aunt Maeve's door. She was not surprised to see him. "I'm sorry, Aunt Maeve. I should have listened to you." Kissing him, she led him into her kitchen, where a savory turkey breast awaited.
*****
Rosemary, who had seen his safe arrival, knelt, murmured "Thank you, God," and crossed herself.
*****
When he arrived back at the fraternity house after the holidays, he told Ed Scott what had happened. "You must be blind, Lin. Everybody else in the house knew he was in love with you. When you went with him, we figured it was mutual. You'd better get your side of the story on the record before he starts lying & says that he turned you down."
"You know what, Ed? I don't care what he says. People who know me know what the truth is. He'll get his someday. As Shakespeare says, ‘Leave him to heaven.'"
"It's ‘Leave HER to heaven,' Lin. The ghost of Hamlet's father is talking about Hamlet's mother."
"I know that. I was just paraphrasing to suit the situation." The two roommates laughed and, as classes hadn't started yet, settled down to a game of chess.
Lindsey did break up with Cathy before Valentine's Day. Although she was very upset at the time, she realized that there were other fish in the sea and found someone more to her parents' liking. Lindsey got his acceptance to Hastings Law along with a package of scholarships and loans that would enable him to get through the first year at least. He graduated summa cum laude, number one in the School of Business, with a double major in accounting and pre-law. Ed Scott, his roommate, graduated summa cum laude and number one in the pre-med department, and followed his older brother Christian Scott into Harvard Medical.
One night in the middle of his first year at Hastings, Lindsey suddenly woke up with a terrible feeling of sadness and loss. He lay back down and let his mind go blank. Then he "saw" her, weeping as if her heart would break. Two state troopers stood next to her in her family's living room. He knew that her parents had just been killed in an automobile accident. As he watched, they left, hats in their hands. With all his strength he willed himself to be there at her side. Suddenly he was sitting next to her. She turned to him, put her head on his shoulder, and sobbed, not noticing that he was clad only in a pair of boxers. Wrapping his arms around her, he let her cry as long as she wanted to. Then he wiped the tears away from her cheeks with his hand. She looked at him and smiled through her tears. Then he was back in his bed. The door had opened and her aunts and uncles came in to comfort their distraught niece.
*****
Larry came to her as soon as he heard about her loss. He did everything he could to make himself useful and take some of the burden from her. Although she truly appreciated his efforts, they didn't make her fall in love with him. But he decided that half a loaf was better than none and decided to take what she was willing to give him, even if it was just friendship. She asked her Uncle Jack, who was an attorney, to handle the sale of the house and the lawsuit against the drunken driver who had killed them. When all of it was done, she was a rich young woman in the monetary sense. However, having lost her parents, she felt very poor indeed. I wonder if he felt like this when his mother died? I'm sure he must have. She decided to move into the dorm at school, but requested a single room. At least she didn't have the drive every day. Aunt Becky & Uncle Ted insisted that she move in with them for summers and holidays, and she agreed. They were her favorite relatives.
In law school Lindsey met a girl named Julie, who became a good friend. She was the first person he told when he was recruited by Wolfram & Hart. Although she tried her best to dissuade him, he told her he was going to take it.
"Look, Julie, I know you mean well, and I appreciate it, but you don't have to worry about how you're going to get through law school. Your parents are paying all of your expenses. I have no money and have to make it through on my scholarship and loans plus whatever I can earn over the summer, which is good money, but hardly enough to make any kind of dent in this debt hanging over my head. They'll pay my way for the next two years."
"Lindsey, I hope you're right. I do care about what happens to you. Just be very careful. I've heard some stories. . ."
"That's what they are—stories! Come on, let's go get a coffee and celebrate both of our successful recruitments."
Lindsey finished his last two years of law school with top honors and was named editor of the Law Review. He was extremely busy, but occasionally, when he had a little time for himself, he realized how lonely he was.
*****
Rosemary and Larry continued to be a couple, of sorts. She still would not let him make love to her. He often called and wrote to his brother Riley, who was now attending the University of California at Sunnydale on an ROTC scholarship and majoring in psychology. Riley said to him, "Do you think that if you totally stopped seeing her she might miss you? After all, as they say, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder.'"
"With my luck, it'll be ‘out of sight, out of mind,'" he answered ruefully. Although that would have been true for him, it was not the case with Lindsey. Rosemary ‘looked' for him whenever she could. She saw him hard at work over his books or his computer or sitting alone in his small apartment. Once in a blue moon he'd have coffee with his friend Julie, but friendship was all there was between the two of them. Both Lindsey and Rosemary were so lonely.
Graduations were fast approaching. To her surprise, the dean had offered Rosemary a graduate assistantship in the music department, so she decided to stay in Pittsburgh and work on her master's degree. Larry accepted a position with an architectural firm back home in Iowa.
For the senior concert, Rosemary had chosen a beautiful Tchaikovsky melody to sing. She had first heard it in the movie Little Women, when Professor Bhaer sang it for Jo, the girl he would eventually marry. It seemed so appropriate for herself, for Lindsey, and even for Larry. Unlike Professor Bhaer, she would sing it in English. Dressed in a lovely blue dress that set off her delicate blondness, she stepped to the front of the stage. She closed her eyes and pictured Lindsey, as he sat in his apartment eating a bologna sandwich and reading one of his law books. He looked up and could see her. She sang,
"None but the lonely heart
Can feel the yearning
Of one who lives apart
All pleasures spurning."
As she looked down at the audience, she could see tears in the eyes of her relatives and in Larry's eyes. Then she looked away from them and into Lindsey's blue eyes as he sat listening to her. Both of them knew that for now this was the only way, but someday they would be together. After all, they were soulmates.
Two years later Larry Finn, who had gone to visit a building under construction that his firm had designed, was killed when it collapsed.
That same year, Paul Winslow was stabbed by a rejected lover. Although he wasn't seriously injured, he would bear a long scar down his cheek for as long as he lived, marring his classic good looks. As his father had been a long-time client of Wolfram & Hart, Lindsey represented him in the lawsuit against his assailant and managed to win the case. Afterwards Lindsey refused to shake his hand, turned his back on him, and walked away without a backward look.
That summer, Rosemary knew that the time had come to set out on her journey to find the man she loved. Six months later, at a Starbucks, they met, and neither would ever have a lonely heart again.