"This is a true classic, Winnie. Swan Lake. Perhaps the greatest of all ballets." Lindsey sat between Kate and his sister Winifred, who passed him the bowl of popcorn.

"I agree wholeheartedly," Wes said. "The Nutcracker may be the most famous, but Swan Lake is undeniably the greatest."

"This tape is a real classic. Natalia Makarova as the Swan Queen and Ivan Nagy as Prince Siegfried. You'll love it."

Damn! There was no way he could get them away from the television short of yelling "Fire!" or perhaps "Lilah!" He lay down on a sofa across the room and closed his eyes as Lindsey & Wes droned on, explaining the ballet to Fred & Gunn. Cordelia and Groo had gone off to the movies. He should have joined them. Oh, well, a nap would be good. . .

He opened his eyes to a raucous celebration. It was Prince Angel's 21st birthday and the court was celebrating. His best friend Wesley (who had quite skinny legs in his tights) brought him a goblet of wine. Evidently his old tutor Giles had had quite a few drinks already. Next thing Angel knew, all of them were dancing, drinking, flirting, and having a great time.

Suddenly the music changed. "This is his mother, the Queen, who has come to tell him that he must choose a bride and give up this life of indolence and hedonism." Did Lindsey always talk that way, Angel wondered. I guess the poor boy wants to show off his education. Whenever he & Wesley got together, you'd think they had swallowed a dictionary and were spewing out the words. To his surprise, the imperious and regal woman entering, followed by a group of attendants, was Joyce Summers. Queen Joyce, I guess.

"It is time to grow up and assume your responsibility as the next king," Joyce pantomimed. "Tonight at the ball you will choose a bride. Now, take this gift with my love." One of her ladies in waiting handed him a beautiful crossbow; then they turned and departed. The party resumed.

"This is the pas de trois," Wes explained. "It's usually done by up and coming soloists. The male dancer in this particular performance is married to one of his female partners." As Prince Angel watched in surprise, Wes took the floor with Cordelia and Fred and the three danced, singly, in groups of two, and all together. Giles then took a drunken spin with one of the young female dancers, landing on the floor on his bottom.

After another dance or two, Wes pointed out a flock of swans. "Let's hunt," he pantomimed, imitating shooting a bow and arrow. So off they went, leaving the drunken Giles behind over his protests.

"You may notice a stylistic difference between this act and the first act," Lindsey was explaining. Yeah, sure, Angel thought. "Acts 1 and 3 were choreographed by the great Marius Petipa, the most demanding of choreographers."

"And Lev Ivanov choreographed the so-called white acts, 2 and 4." Wes was obviously trying to show off for Fred. "Ivanov was a more romantic choreographer than Petipa." Angel could just see Fred's big eyes opened wide as she listened to her brother and the man who was competing with Gunn for her attention. He drifted off again.

He and Wes were at the edge of a beautiful moonlit lake as the swans landed. As he prepared to let fly a bolt from his crossbow, the swans one by one turned into beautiful maidens. Suddenly a swan maiden wearing a crown atop her headdress of feathers ran in front of them and put out her arms in a gesture that obviously meant "Stop!" It was his beautiful golden-haired Buffy. Motioning Wes away, he put down his crossbow and went to her. Taking her into his arms, he lifted her and supported her as she twirled on her pointe then bent low with one leg straight up behind her in a penche arabesque. The music, dominated by violins, was romantic as Buffy and Angel danced and fell in love. There was a brief interlude of dance led by her two attendants, Willow and Anya. They were joined by Tara and Anne for the Dance of the Little Swans.

Then as Buffy and Angel danced again, the music darkened and the evil wizard Lindsey entered, pantomiming, "They are under my spell and you will not break it. Begone!" He raised his arms and his long black cape hung from them like bat wings. And then he was gone. Before the maidens turned back into swans, Angel and Buffy danced once more.

"She's telling him that the only way to break the spell is to pledge his love to her eternally," Lindsey was explaining to Fred. And the time had come for the maidens to fly off, leaving Angel alone.

"The next scene is the ball to celebrate the prince's birthday." Angel suddenly found himself in a magnificent hall, filled with maidens. Dancers in magnificent colorful costumes were all around. Princesses from across Europe had come to vie for his hand. As he sat on a throne next to Joyce, Wes behind him, the guests performed various dances native to Poland, Hungary, and Italy. He rose and dutifully danced with each of the princesses. But where was Buffy? She had promised to come.

Just as his mother had risen, demanding that he name his choice, a crescendo like a clap of thunder announced the Knight of the Black Swan and his daughter. In came Lindsey, dressed in black, escorting a beautiful blonde in a tutu exactly like the Swan Queen's, only black. Although she looked like Buffy, it was actually Darla, Lindsey's daughter, enchanted to resemble Buffy. He went straight to her side and joined her in the most famous pas de deux in ballet while Lindsey sat beside Joyce, charming her as only he could.

Darla was magnificent; Angel could not keep his eyes off her. For a minute, there was a vision of Buffy pleading for him to notice her. As he began to turn to her, Darla cleverly mimicked her swan moves, drawing his attention away while Lindsey masked the vision with his strong magic. Angel danced a solo, followed by Darla, and then they danced together again. "Now comes the famous 32 fouettes, as she whirls, whipping her leg out with each turn. It's amazingly difficult, or at least it was back then. Now most dancers could do it in their sleep." Fred had to be fascinated by this, Angel thought. He watched Darla with amazement and then, at the end of the coda, announced to his mother that this was his chosen wife.

"Do you swear?" Lindsey mimed.

"I swear!" Angel raised his arm in the air, two fingers extended, a promise in the language of ballet. Then Darla threw back her head and laughed. She and Lindsey ran off together, knowing that Buffy was doomed to remain a swan until she died. A distraught Angel ran to the lake.

"So this is act 4?" Fred asked.

"The other Ivanov act," Lindsey replied. "They call these two acts white because of the white swan tutus."

Angel found Buffy at the lake, distraught, surrounded by her maidens who tried to comfort her. He knelt before her, begging her forgiveness, and they danced again. Lindsey entered and, waving his arms, caused the lake to rise up and drown the two lovers. However, at the end they floated off together in a lovely swan boat.

Both Fred & Kate had tears in their eyes as Lindsey got up to rewind the tape. With perfect timing, Cordelia and Groo entered the Hyperion. "How was the movie?" Gunn asked.

"It was a noble tale of a brave warrior who won the love of a princess," Groo replied. "It reminded me of my love story with my beautiful princess." He frowned. "But there was one thing I did not understand. I did not see any clowns attacking. There was one character that I thought might have been a clown—that JarJar!"

The group around the television chuckled softly. "It wasn't clowns, Groo. It was clones—copies of people," Cordelia explained. "They had made an army of copies of Jango Fett."

"The noble father with the young son? I see." He clearly didn't see.

"I'll explain a little more to you upstairs, Groo. Good night, everyone."

"Good night. We will com-shuck now." Groo and Cordy went upstairs.

Lindsey put his arm around his fiance Kate. "Com-shucking sounds like a good idea to me. What do you think?"

She gave him a slow, sultry smile. "Why don't we go upstairs and get out of something less comfortable?" Then she saw Angel, who had risen from the sofa. "Angel, I'm sorry you missed the ballet. It was great!"

"And Lindsey and Wes made everything so clear!" Fred was smiling as she carried the popcorn bowl into the kitchen. "They are so knowledgeable!" Gunn was frowning.

As Angel went to turn the television back on to see if possibly they might be running Omega Man, he said to himself, "Actually, I didn't miss a thing. I wonder how I look in tights." He settled onto the couch and sighed. "I miss you so much, Buffy, my swan queen."