As Gilda grew older, she began to exhibit strange behavior. When she was about four, she told the nursery school teacher that Tommy, a two-year-old who cried at the end of the day, was afraid of "Daddy". Tommy was not talking yet, and, even if he had been, he could not have expressed that emotion. But Gilda was right. Tommy didn't come back to nursery school again; his mother's live-in boy friend had beaten him to death. She could walk through the infant room and tell the woman in charge why each child was crying, if it was hungry, or colicky, or in need of changing.

     As Gilda grew older, her power became stronger. Nobody quite understood what it was. She could not read minds; she wasn't a telepath. Her father spent a good deal of time in the library researching her strange gift. Finally he discovered what she was. She was an empath, who could sense the emotions of others. Eve, her mother, had been a clairvoyant; Al wondered if she had been able to predict her death in childbirth. If so, she had been willing to die to give him this precious little girl. He wondered why she had insisted on naming her daughter Gilda. Surely it had nothing to do with the Rita Hayworth movie of the same name. After all, her name in that movie was pronounced Gill-da, not Jeel-da.

     After an incident in school, in which she was beaten up by a bully because she told him that his anger was covering up his fear, her father decided to home-school her. Both Frances and Al were very intelligent, and Gilda actually learned more from them than she would have learned at school.

     When Gilda reached high school age, she had learned to hide her gift. She knew that only a few hundred years ago she would probably have been executed as a witch. But people still would have feared and hated her for her insights. She used to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation and wonder why Deanna Troi, also an empath, was admired for her gift whereas she would not be.

     Her first few days of high school were very difficult for her, as she was thrown into the midst of hundreds of teenagers filled with angst and raging hormones. Halfway through the first morning she fainted in the hallway and was taken to the nurse. The sheer magnitude of emotions flowing into her had overwhelmed her. But she was forced to learn how to block out other people's emotions. Still, she made few friends. It was hard for her to understand the complexity of the other girls' emotions. And she knew what the boys were thinking! She had grown into a real beauty. Even the nicest girls felt jealous of her, especially when she also made the top grades in the class. But she went home every evening to her loving father and aunt.

     She decided to go to a local college and live at home. Although her father suggested that she study psychology, as she would surely be able to help people because she could understand them so well, she didn't want to be faced with other people's emotional turmoils every day. On her 18^th birthday she was given a letter that her mother had left for her. She took it to her room and read it.

     "My darling little Gilda, I wish I could be there with you to celebrate your birthday. But be assured that I am looking down on you from heaven. If you don't already know this, I must tell you that I had a ‘sixth sense.' I was a clairvoyant, which meant I could glimpse the future. I have seen you working in a law firm as a legal secretary or a paralegal. Perhaps that was just a possible future and you have chosen another path. Whatever path you choose to walk, know that I am always with you. I love you and I am very proud of you. Your mother, Eve."

     Gilda was amazed, as she had seriously considered law as a career, although she knew that she could not afford to go to law school. But if she studied prelaw and took enough secretarial courses, she might be able to get a job in a law firm and go to law school at night. So that was the path she followed at UCLA. She did extremely well in her classes and completed all of the requirements to be certified as a paralegal, as well as becoming very proficient at shorthand and computer.

     Her love life had not improved much over high school, however. It was too easy to know what the male students had on their minds, and she was not the kind of girl who would settle for less than a genuine love. So, although she dated a little and went to a few parties, she graduated from college a virgin.

     At first she took a job with the District Attorney's office, but the atmosphere was much too dark for her there. Between the criminals with their evil thoughts, the victims with their pain and fear, and some of the attorneys with their jockeying for political power, she was constantly having headaches. So she decided to leave and find another kind of law to practice.

     Before she had given in her notice, she was assisting Jill Wilcox, a dedicated young prosecutor who had gone to work for the District Attorney's office because she had lost her father to a mugger and wanted to make the streets safe for decent citizens. Jill had become a friend to her, which was one reason she had not yet left her job. She was taking a stack of folders to Jill when she came around a corner and collided with someone going the other direction.

     Suddenly Gilda was filled with a maelstrom of churning emotions: sadness, anger, self contempt, loneliness, deep depression, hatred, and fear. Of all of these, sadness and loneliness seemed to be the strongest. The wave of emotion was so strong that for the second time in her life, Gilda fainted.

     When she came to, she was lying on a sofa in one of the small offices. A young man with dark hair and blue eyes was kneeling beside her, a cup of water in his hand and a very worried look on his face. "Are you all right? I'm so sorry. I didn't know I had run into you so hard. I never meant to knock you out. I'm very very sorry."

     As she took the cup of water from him, she touched his hand. My God, she thought, he's so terribly sad. What has he gone through? Then she realized that he was quite possibly the handsomest man she had ever seen, and she felt herself blushing. She knew that all she wanted to do was take him in his arms and let the sadness and all the other negative emotions flow out of him. She wanted to hold him in her arms forever and just convince him that everything was all right. That she loved him and would always love him. That he was a good person. Without realizing it, she was weeping for the innocent little boy who was trapped inside of this man.

     Instinctively he took her into his arms and let her cry on his shoulder. He didn't even notice that she was getting tears and lipstick on the shoulder of his expensive Armani suit. He just held her tight. She could feel a new emotion in him: concern.

     Finally, embarrassed, she pulled away. "No, I'm the one that's sorry. I can't explain what just came over me. I hope I didn't ruin your suit with my tears. And, oh, my God, I got lipstick on it, too. I'll pay to have it cleaned."

     He laughed. "It's the first time I've had lipstick on my clothes in years."

     She said the first thing that came into her mind. "You only get it on your skin, I guess." Then she instantly regretted it. The feelings of sadness flowed back into him.

     "I wish." Then he brightened. "So, by the way, the bulldozer who ran you down is called Lindsey MacDonald. And you are. . .?"

     "Gilda Nichols. I'm a paralegal working for the District Attorney's office. At least for the next two weeks, that is. I'm going to give them my notice."

     "Well, Gilda, I consider your name an omen. I happen to have two tickets to Rigoletto on Saturday night and nobody to take. Would you have dinner and then go to the opera with me?"

     Her smile brightened the room. "I'd love to."

     Just then one of the clerks of the court stuck her head in the door. "Lindsey, your case is next. I told the judge that you were taking care of Gilda, so she gave you an extra half hour, but it's just about over. And Gilda, Jill said you can take the rest of the day off if you need to."

     "Thanks, Arlene," they both said at the same time. He took one of his cards out of his pocket, wrote his home & cell phone numbers on the back, and gave it to her. She suddenly noticed as he was writing that he only had one hand. The other was artificial, and, as far as she could tell, not a very good one. Then he asked her to write her address and phone number on the back of another of his cards & stuck it in his shirt pocket. "I'll call you to see when & where I can pick you up." He picked up his briefcase and headed for the door. Then suddenly he turned back. "Did you say you're going to give notice here?" As she nodded, he continued, "Do you have another job lined up?" She shook her head. "Come & see me. I think I deserve an assistant. Can you come later today, as you have the day off? About 3:30 or so?" She nodded again. "I'll see you then." He took off on a quick trot down the hall.

     Gilda went to the courtroom where Jill was ready to prosecute her case and sat on her chair at the end of the table. "Are you okay?" Jill whispered.

     "I'm okay, but I think I will go home if you don't mind. Maybe we can talk later."

Jill nodded. Gilda got up and went home.

     Promptly at 3:30 she presented herself in the lobby of the Wolfram & Hart building. She had showered, done her hair, redone her makeup, and printed up a copy of her resume, which she carried in her briefcase. Before she could even tell the security person at the desk who she was, he rose. "Miss Nichols? Mr. MacDonald asked me to look for you. I'll take you up to his office, but first let me notify him that you're here." He buzzed the intercom, spoke briefly to Lindsey, and then led Gilda to the elevator.

     Lindsey was waiting for her at the elevator when she got off. She saw that he had changed from the brown suit/shirt/tie combination that he had worn to court to a blue combo that tried but failed to match the blue of his eyes. He smiled and led her to his office. On the way in, he stopped at the desk right across from his door. "Vicki, we'd like coffee-or would you prefer tea?"

     "Tea, please."

     "Tea, Earl Grey, hot?" he asked with a smile.

     "That would be nice, Jean-Luc." He laughed and turned back to Vicki.

      "Tea and the nicest cookies or cake we have, Vicki. Thank you." He took her arm and led her into his huge, beautiful office. As they went in, a brunette in a very short business suit who appeared to be about four or five years older than Lindsey glared at her. Gilda could feel the jealousy and, yes, hatred burning into her. It made her a little dizzy. Lindsey closed the door and led her to a comfortable sofa. "Actually, I'm not a big Jean-Luc fan. I prefer Riker and Data. I've just picked up that phrase and tend to use it a lot." Vicki knocked at the door and came in with a silver tray bearing two porcelain cups, a teapot, and a large plate of beautiful petits fours.

     Automatically Gilda picked up the pot and poured two cups of tea. "Cream or lemon?" She poured cream into both cups. "Sugar?" Using the tongs, she put two lumps of sugar into each cup. Then she passed him a small plate of petits fours and took a couple for herself. They were delicious. The china was very fine and delicate, bearing the crest of a dragon curled around the letters W&H.

     "Are you feeling all right now? You look as if you are."

     "Yes, thanks, I'm fine. Did you win your case?"

     He nodded, but a wave of shame? guilt? revulsion? came over him, as if he knew he shouldn't have won. "The prosecution's chief witness never showed up. I had it dismissed." She could feel the strong emotion flowing through him. Better not to congratulate him.

     "So, Gilda Nichols, why are you leaving the District Attorney's office?"

     "I just don't like it there. The atmosphere is just too dark and gloomy. I had been thinking of it for a long time, but I thought I should give it a fair trial. But I still feel the same way. I've made a few friends there, but I don't want to stay."

     He was looking at her resume. "I see you graduated from UCLA. So did I about six years before you. And you're going to law school at night."

     "One class a semester. That's all I can afford right now. Maybe when I get more money saved up I can go full time. It's so expensive."

     "How would you like to go two days a week and work here three? We'll pay the cost of your classes and also give you full time pay. It'll be hard, but I think you can do it if you really want to be an attorney."

     "That sounds like heaven to me. I'll take it." You don't have to pay me anything if I can work for you, she thought.

     "Have you handed in your notice yet? When can you start?"

     "Two weeks from this coming Monday."

     "All right, two weeks from Monday it is. Be here at 8:30. When the next semester starts, you can take two classes. Schedule them for the same days and work the other three. Now, about Saturday night. Where would you like to have dinner?"

     "Italian would probably be appropriate for Rigoletto, but I'm easy." He started to laugh. Blushing, she continued, "I mean I like all kinds of food. Wherever you choose will be fine with me."

     "Let me see if I can get reservations at Romeo & Guilietta." That was the hot new place she had read about in the papers. All of Hollywood went there, or so it seemed. He dialed a number on the phone. "Hello, this is Lindsey MacDonald of Wolfram & Hart. I'd like a table for two for Saturday night. We have opera tickets, so it can't be any later than six. Fine. That's MacDonald. Thank you." He turned to Gilda. "If I'm not mistaken, you live a couple of blocks from the restaurant. I'll pick you up at 5:30."

     Just then there was a knock on the door. The brunette that Gilda had seen in the hall came in. "Excuse me, Lindsey, but don't we have a meeting on the Donoghue case?"

     He frowned at her. Goodness, Gilda thought, he's even gorgeous when he frowns! My, I am a lovesick creature! The girl looked daggers at Gilda.

     "You're right, Lilah. Let me walk my new assistant to the elevator. Gilda will be starting in two weeks."

     On the walk to the elevator Gilda felt wave after wave of negative emotions, even more than in the district attorney's office. This was an evil place. But I have to stay, she thought. I love him, and I must try to save him.

     On the way to the meeting, Lilah ran into Holland. "Did you know Lindsey's hiring a new assistant?"

     "No, I didn't. But he is, after all, a junior partner. He could probably use some help. I assume from your attitude, Lilah, that it's a pretty young woman." He looked at Lilah and saw the color rise in her cheeks. "You might as well get it through your head that he'll never be interested in you. You've had several years to work on him. Don't be jealous, my dear. There are others who appreciate your—talents!"

     Gilda drove back to her house with a song in her heart. But then she thought about her father. He would not approve of Lindsey. However, she knew that he did believe in her empathetic sense, and she hoped he'd learn that she had found her true love.

     The next day at work she told Jill that she was handing in her resignation. "Let's go to lunch and talk about it," Jill said.

     They had lunch at The Inn Of Court, a small but comfortable place where the lawyers often went during the lunch breaks of their trials. Jill, who was about six years older than Gilda and was newly engaged to another assistant district attorney, was like the older sister that Gilda had always wished for. "So why are you leaving?"

     "Jill, did you ever think there was something a little—different about me?"

     "Yes, I noticed how you always seemed to know when I wanted to talk, and when I wanted to be left alone. Sometimes you just knew a cup of coffee was what I needed, and you always brought a doughnut when it was all that would really help, even though I told you I didn't need the calories. I figured you were an expert at reading body language or something. You were great at helping me pick jurors, too. So what does this have to do with your resignation?"

     "I'm an empath. That's not the same thing as a telepath. I can't read minds at all, but I read emotions. And I couldn't take all of the negative emotions that I kept reading in the DA's office. Only my friendship with you made me stay as long as I have."

     "So where will you go? Do you have another job lined up?"

     "Yes, I do, but you're not going to like it much."

     "Please don't tell me that Lindsey MacDonald lured you away to Wolfram & Hart! That place is a hotbed of evil and corruption. And Lindsey is as slimy and sleazy as any of them beneath those pretty-boy looks."

     "Jill, he didn't knock me out when he ran into me. I fainted from the overwhelming wave of emotions I felt from him. Yes, there were a lot of negative ones, but the most powerful were sadness and loneliness. I fell in love with him then and there. I have to be with him to try to help him. Somewhere in him is a sad little boy wanting to come out."

     "You're a fool, Gilda. But it's your choice. I hope it works out for you. Please, please stay in touch with me. I feel as if you're the little sister I never had."

     When she got back to the office, she asked Beth Wilson, another of the attorneys who had recently had a baby, for the name of a good gynecologist. "Why? Are you pregnant?"

     "No, but I'm 22 now, and I should have a regular gynecologist. And I want to get a prescription for birth control pills."

     "So who's the lucky man?"

     "Nobody yet, but I want to be prepared when the time comes."

     Beth gave her the name, Dr. Christian Scott. He had delivered her little Jimmy, and she thought the sun rose and set on him. Gilda called his office and set up an appointment. A week later, she had had her checkup and her prescription. Beth was right. He seemed to be a wonderful, caring doctor.

     Saturday she made an appointment at the beauty parlor for a facial, a shampoo, a haircut, and a blow dry. She decided just to go with a trim, as she thought that Lindsey probably liked long hair. On the spur of the moment, she had highlights put in her hair. She had also laid away a beautiful dress in a deep rose shade that had always looked really good on her, so she bought it. I can't really afford this, she thought, but I'm going to look my best.

     Fortunately, her father and aunt had plans for the evening with some friends from the church, and she was at home alone when Lindsey arrived. He drove up in a Mercedes. She settled down into the soft leather seat and enjoyed the soft music that was playing from the CD system.

     Romeo & Guilietta was a fantastic place. It was easily the most elegant restaurant she had ever seen. They were shown to a table in the center of the room with heavy linen cloth and napkins, set with sterling silver and fine crystal. A crystal vase on the table held a perfect red rose. Gilda's menu was written in Italian and had no prices listed. She had heard of this before. Only the host would receive a menu with prices listed so that the guests would choose what they really wanted. She looked at Lindsey. "I don't read Italian."

     He smiled at her. "Trust me." Then, turning to the waiter, he ordered in what appeared to be fluent Italian. Shortly thereafter the wine steward, wearing the traditional cup on a chain around his neck, arrived with chilled champagne. Pouring it into two flutes, he placed the remainder of the bottle into an ice bucket. Lindsey raised his glass. "To the most beautiful victim of the MacDonald bulldozer!" They clinked glasses and drank.

     The food was magnificent. Gilda was not quite sure what she was eating, but it was the most delicious meal she had ever had. She felt both underdressed, as she looked at some of the famous people sitting near them dressed in clothes that would have cost her a month's pay or more, and overdressed, as a few women had dresses that had to be taped to their skins with body tape to keep them from being arrested for indecent exposure. "Why don't we come back for dessert after the opera so we aren't late," Lindsey suggested. So they had cappuccino and left.

     Gilda had never been to the opera before, but she knew all about Rigoletto. She had seen a performance on television and had a cassette of excerpts. They had box seats right in the middle with a great view of the stage. As the subject was a hunchbacked court jester whose wife had died, leaving him with a beautiful daughter named Gilda (pronounced like her name) to raise, it hit home. Now even more than ever it seemed quite relevant to her life. Gilda had fallen in love with the very handsome young libertine Duke of Mantua before she knew who he really was. His court was an evil place filled with men and women with neither morals nor consciences, save a few people. All of the romantic leads were young and attractive, with the Duke being sung by a man with wavy brown hair. Maddalena, the assassin's beautiful sister who lured the fickle Duke away at the end had hair and cheekbones very similar to Lilah's. And the Gilda could have been her twin. Did Lindsey notice it? She didn't think so. But during the love duet between the Duke and Gilda, he put his hand over hers (she was sitting on his left). He did have a strange reaction to the sight of the young dark-haired man who sang the role of the hired assassin Sparafucile. He sat up straight and murmured, "Angel!" During the intermission he searched his program for the singer's name and then relaxed.

     During the intermission they went down to the grand foyer and had a glass of wine. "Are you enjoying it, Gilda?" he asked.

     "I love it. I wish I could go to the opera all the time."

     "Eight weeks from tonight I have tickets to The Magic Flute. It's nice to have someone so enthusiastic to accompany me. I took Lilah once and she fell asleep in the middle of Aida. Never again!"

     "The Magic Flute is one of my favorites." She started very softly singing the duet at the end between Papageno the birdcatcher and his true love Papagena. Lindsey joined her in the "Pa-pa-pa! Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa geno." On the way back to their seats, he was whistling Papageno's first aria. All of the emotions coming from him were positive. Gilda could tell he was really having a good time.

     True to his word, he took her back to Romeo and Guilietta for dessert after the opera. She had the best tiramisu she had ever tasted. "I wish I had the nerve to lick the dish."

     "That's how I feel, too," Lindsey said as he tried to scrape the last drop out with his spoon. He called for the check and signed for it on his credit card, leaving a generous tip. Then he called for his car from valet parking. When they arrived at her house, he got out, opened her car door, and escorted her to the front door. He took her hand, said, "Thank you for sharing the opera with me," raised it to his lips, and kissed it. Then he turned and went back to his car. After he saw that she was safely inside, he drove off.

     As she closed the door behind her, Gilda started humming the aria that the opera's Gilda sang after her lover parted from her at their first meeting, Caro Nome. She floated off to bed. The next day a bouquet of flowers was delivered to her with a note, "I hope you enjoyed last night as much as I did. Lindsey."

     On Sunday morning Lindsey bounced out of bed and had brushed his teeth, showered, shaved, and made his bed before he stopped to realize that it was Sunday. He was thinking, I'd better get going or I'll be late for church. Then it struck him. He hadn't gone to church since he was confirmed. He would have quit before that because God hadn't answered his prayer to save the twins and his mother. But before she died she made him promise that he'd be confirmed, and he kept his promise to her. And now, of course, churchgoing was not something encouraged by Wolfram & Hart. Still. . .he wondered what church Gilda would attend. But he decided not to go. He spent the morning with the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, especially the crossword, and the Los Angeles Times. He also called the florist to deliver flowers to Gilda.

     Her last two weeks at the DA's seemed to drag by. On her last day, Jill and the other attorneys surprised her with a going-away party complete with a cake and gifts. But every one of them radiated feelings of worry about her going off to Wolfram & Hart. A few came out and said something. Surprisingly, Ryan Edwards took her aside. "Gilda, I know everyone here despises Wolfram & Hart and your new boss Lindsey MacDonald. But somehow I don't think he's as bad as everybody else thinks he is. I think that beneath that arrogance of his he has a conscience. I hope I'm right. Once after he won a case in which the defendant was very definitely guilty, I found him sitting alone in a conference room with his head in his hands. He looked totally miserable. I know if anyone can bring out the good in another person, it's you. Good luck." He kissed her on the cheek.

     Although she had stretched her budget to the breaking point, she bought herself one new suit for her first day at work. She had been amazed at the length of the skirts that some of the women wore, especially Lilah, who evidently enjoyed flaunting her legs. I just can't do that, she thought, although this skirt was a little shorter than her usual ones. Her father looked at her and frowned just a little, but then he kissed her and wished her well. On his way to work, he stopped at St. Malachi's and lit a candle for her.

     The parking garage had her stumped. She didn't have a key card to get in. As she sat outside the gate, Lindsey drove up. He pulled up beside her and lowered his window. "Oops, I forgot to take care of your parking. As soon as I get through the gate, I'll bring you the parking key card so you can get in. I should have told you to go through the visitor's gate." And he did come right out with the card. "You park in one of those spaces, and I'll arrange for an assigned space for you this morning." When she had parked, he was waiting for her by the elevator. Smiling in appreciation of her attractive appearance, he escorted her through security, where a badge had been made for her, and into his office. A small section had been partitioned off for her office, with a corridor door and a connecting door to him.

     As he entered his office, he asked Vicki for tea and pastries. Then he invited her to sit down on the couch. "You'll only have to wear the badge for a week or so until Security recognizes you. When that time comes, they'll ask you to turn it in. Please keep the door between our offices open unless you need to close it for personal reasons. There may be times when I'll close it for confidentiality reasons. Otherwise please feel free to come into mine whenever the door's open. If you're not busy helping me, you may study, write papers, whatever. If it's possible, I'd like you to sign up for Tuesday-Thursday classes for next semester and work Monday-Wednesday-Friday. We may sometimes have to work late or on weekends. You're always free to go to class even if everyone else is working. Do you have any questions?"

     "Yes. Is it possible to play a little music while I'm working?"

     "I have a stereo system in the office, and I've hooked it up to yours. Nothing heavy, please. What did you have in mind?"

     "Light classical, perhaps some show tunes."

     "That would be fine. I'll show you where I keep my CD's, and, if you'd like, you can bring some of your own. Any other questions?"

     "Do I have to wear a suit or may I wear an appropriate dress?"

     "You may wear a dress or even a skirt and sweater or blouse unless you accompany me to court. Then you'll have to wear a suit. Anything else?"

     "I can't think of anything right at the moment."

     "Oh, please give Vicki your preferences with regard to beverages, pastries, etc. We do have coffee and/or tea and pastries every morning. And we might take a tea break in the afternoon with cookies or something. Vicki likes to be prepared." She nodded.

     "Now take a few minutes to get settled and then I have a ton of work for us to do."

     Gilda found herself working all morning. Suddenly Lindsey came to the door. "Okay, Gilda, it's lunchtime. I'm taking you to the dining room. We have a cordon bleu chef and lunch is one of our perks here."   He led her down the hall to a beautifully furnished room. The tables were covered with red tablecloths and set with the china she had seen on the tea set. He led her to a table for two after looking around the restaurant.

     As they were about to sit down, they heard a voice behind them, "Lindsey! Please join us." There, behind them, were Lilah and an older man.

      Lindsey flashed Gilda a very quick frown, "Of course, Holland."

     "So this is your new assistant, Lindsey." He took Gilda's hand. "I'm Holland Manners, and this is Lilah Morgan, Miss. . .?"

     "Gilda Nichols. Nice to meet you, sir. Miss Morgan." Lilah nodded. Gilda could feel the waves of resentment coming from her. Holland was almost impossible to read. She could feel great annoyance coming from Lindsey.

     After the waiter had come by with the specials of the day and they had ordered, Holland said, "Please, my dear, tell me all about yourself."

     Gilda gave Holland a short, carefully phrased biography of herself. He had a tendency to look at her as if he could see right through her. That was very disconcerting.

     "Lindsey, I hope you haven't forgotten to have Miss Nichols sign her contract and fill out all of the necessary papers, tax filing, etc. Most of our new hires have to go through the Human Resources department (somehow Gilda caught herself wondering if there was also a Demon Resources department), but, as you hired her directly, you may have forgotten about the paperwork. I'll see to it that they forward the forms to your office today."

     "I think I can just pull them up on my computer and print them out for her, Holland. I'll take care of it." By then their food had arrived and the conversation became more along the line of small talk.

     When Lindsey and Gilda returned to their offices, he pulled up the contract and other forms. He made a few judicious changes to the basic contract, eliminating any references to selling of souls and the like. Finally it was a standard, innocuous contract. Also the other forms were carefully reviewed. Then he called Gilda in to fill them out and sign them. As he read over the contract again, he thought to himself, how could I ever have signed such a thing? I must have been crazy or desperate. Well, let's face it, I was desperate. I wouldn't ever allow myself to be put into a position in which I could be poor again. Damn it! Why didn't I have a little confidence that I could find something else? I'm not going to let that happen to this innocent girl.

     At about 6:00 Lindsey stuck his head in her door. "Go on home. First stop by security for a key card for the garage and your parking space assignment. I'll see you at 8:30 tomorrow. Get a good night's rest unless you have a lot of studying to do."

     "I have class tonight from 8:00 until 11:00."

     "Then come in about 11, okay. That'll give you time to catch up on your sleep or to study or both. I mean it. Don't come in early. We'll do lunch about 12:30, so plan your breakfast around that. Tomorrow is usually steak au pouvoire day, and it's really great!"

     The next day she took him at his word and wore a pretty pink dress that she had always loved. He smiled in appreciation and said, "Yes, that's definitely fine for the office. Wear a suit tomorrow, as you're going to court with me."

     She wore her black suit but brightened it with a pink blouse and pulled her hair back into a French twist that she softened around her face with a couple of tendrils. Lindsey nodded his approval. "Can you carry the laptop? I'll take our bags. I have a new one for you," he said, handing her a soft briefcase with a shoulder strap. On the way, he filled her in on the case. "Please pay particular attention to the jury selection. If you have any insights, just tap me on the arm."

     The client Lindsey was defending turned out to be a personable young man, the son of a long-time Wolfram & Hart client. As Gilda sat next to him, she felt two very strong emotions: fear and remorse. Although he was guilty of the drug charge, she knew that he was scared to death and that he regretted giving it to his girl friend, who had become very ill with an overdose but had recovered completely. Gilda was willing to do what she could to help him. She couldn't help but notice that while his mother was there, his father was not. Gilda picked up the same emotions from his mother that she had picked up from him, but the strongest of all was love.

     Lindsey had opted to go for a jury trial. As the selection began, Gilda started to read the jurors. She read an implacable hatred for the defendant coming from one panelist. Yes, it was number 7, a woman in her mid forties. She touched Lindsey's arm lightly. He paused in his questioning, said, "Your honor, may I have a moment?" to the judge, and leaned over to Gilda.

     "Excuse number 7. Trust me. Be sure and keep 2, 5, 8, and 10. They're very sympathetic. And number 1 is making eyes at you."

     Lindsey laughed. "Okay, I'll trust you." He rose. "Number 7 is excused." She looked very annoyed but rose and left the jury box.

     Warren King was the prosecutor. He had been Gilda's least favorite prosecutor. Although he was a very intelligent, very thorough prosecutor, he was also a dour, sanctimonious man. If Lindsey turned on the charm, he should be able to win over the jury. Especially if he called their attention to his prosthesis. And Billy Wright, the defendant, needed to appear contrite.

     As it turned out, she did not have to tell Lindsey any of the above. He was just the picture of charm, courtesy, and respect. Billy looked properly contrite because he was genuinely sorry and ashamed. Lindsey did his "oops, I dropped something, but I can't pick it up with this artificial hand," shtick. He had evidently done it before. Warren King rolled his eyes (he had seen it before), but that registered very badly on the jury. In the end, they found Billy not guilty. Billy's mother hugged him, hugged Lindsey, and then hugged Gilda.

     On the way out of the courtroom, Warren stopped Gilda. "I just want to let you know how disappointed I am in you, Gilda. Too bad we couldn't have found a good-looking assistant DA for you to sleep with."

     Lindsey grabbed him by the lapel. "You apologize to her right now, or I'll sue you for slander. Miss Nichols is my assistant, not my mistress. Evidently I have much more respect for her than you do. She left the DA's office because she wasn't happy there, not because I seduced her. Now apologize or I file suit."

     Warren was taken aback. "Maybe I was wrong, Gilda. But even if you're not sleeping with him, you're helping him set criminals and God knows what else free. I am sincerely disappointed." He turned and left.

     Tears were running down Gilda's cheeks. Lindsey offered her his handkerchief. "I'm sorry he said those things to you. I meant what I said about the lawsuit, though." She felt concern and sympathy coming from him, and friendship, but, unfortunately, that seemed to be all. Sadly she accompanied him back to the office.

     "I think we need to go to dinner to celebrate. I hadn't realized how much of an asset you can be in the courtroom. You read those jury members well. Would you like to be a jury consultant? It would pay you more than you're making now."

     She shook her head. "I'd rather work for you." He hugged her.

     "So we really have to celebrate. What kind of restaurant do you want to go to?"

     "I picked the last one. It's your turn."

     "No, you just chose the type of food. I picked the restaurant. Now choose."

     "I love pizza."

     "No. Pizza is okay for everyday, but this is a celebration. French? Seafood? Chinese? Thai? Serbo-Croatian?"

     She giggled. "Seafood, please." He nodded and walked over to his phone.

     Before he made reservations for them, he made another phone call to Billy's father. "Where were you today? Why weren't you in court with your son?   No, I don't care that his mother was there. I wanted you both there to support him, and Billy needed you. No, I don't care what you say. Maybe if you'd been there for him more, he wouldn't have been in trouble. All right, tell Holland what I said. I don't care. You should be more supportive of your son. You don't know how lucky you are." Lindsey slammed down the phone, a frown on his face. Then he turned to Gilda. "My father wasn't around when I needed him, and I know how it feels. You live with your father, don't you?" She nodded. "Is he always there for you?" She nodded again. "You're very lucky." Then he picked up the phone and called The Pacific Grill for reservations. The name Wolfram & Hart seemed to open a lot of doors.

     The Pacific Grill was not quite as fancy as Romeo and Guilietta, but it was still an expensive place. "Would you like lobster, Gilda?"

     "No, thanks. I love crab imperial. That's what I'd like."

     When Lindsey's huge lobster arrived, he put a piece on his fork, dipped it in melted butter, and lifted it to her lips. She took it and chewed slowly. "You're right, it is delicious, but I still prefer crab imperial." He tempted her with another bite, and then gave up as she was obviously enjoying her meal. Afterwards there was fresh berry cobbler for dessert, warm, with ice cream melting on it.

     "Lindsey, I'm afraid I'm going to gain weight with the wonderful meals and the pastries and the tea tray. I have to cut down."

     "Don't worry, you're fine the way you are."

     Things went along well for the next couple of weeks. They lunched together almost every day and occasionally went to dinner after court. Then Lindsey had to defend Brian Schumacher. He was not happy about that at all, as Brian Schumacher was a rich sadist who had brutally murdered a young woman. Lindsey did not want to defend him, but he was assigned to it and couldn't get out of it.

     "I have to do my best, Gilda, and I need you with me. I don't know how you read the jurors the way you do. I'm also going to do something I've never done before. Don't hate me for it." Gilda didn't know what he meant, but she did know it was something he wasn't happy about.

     When he met her at the courthouse the next day, he wasn't wearing his prosthetic hand. "Please help me pin my sleeve. I have to milk every ounce of sympathy I can out of the jury."

     "Lindsey, are you sure you want to do this?"

     "I don't have a choice about defending him, but I did take an oath to give my client the best possible defense. I hope that Warren does a better job than he did at the last case. I really don't want to see Schumacher go free."

     Lindsey was right. As he walked into the room, she could feel the sympathy for this handsome young man who was missing a hand. And he did milk it for all it was worth. Again, he played the sweet, charming young man, and again he showed Warren up very badly. Jill was sitting second seat for the prosecution. Gilda could feel her disapproval. As Warren got more and more strident, Lindsey just became quieter and calmer. Gilda continued to read the jury for him. He was doing really well. But what decided the case was the failure of the prosecution's leading witness to show up. That just had an even worse effect on Warren. Finally Warren blew up, and that did it. Lindsey got a mistrial and a dismissal. On the way out Jill stopped her. "Well, your boyfriend did it, Gilda. Now Schumacher is free to kill again. I hope you're happy."

     Gilda shook her head, "No, Jill, I'm not. And neither is Lindsey. He didn't ask for this case, but he had to do his best once he had it."

     "I thought his ‘one-hand' defense was tacky. And what happened to the maid?"

     "I honestly don't know, and that came as a surprise to Lindsey, too. I know it for a fact because, as you know, I can read his emotions, and the one that registered was surprise, almost to the point of shock."

     Jill hugged her. "Be careful, kiddo. You're on dangerous ground. But I'll always be there for you."

     Gilda didn't say anything to Lindsey about a celebration. She could feel how miserable he was. They went back to the office without saying a word. Then, suddenly, he asked, "You've lost respect for me, haven't you?"

     "No. You did what you had to do. I have to respect you for taking your oath seriously."

     He suddenly kissed her on the forehead. "Sweet little Gilda. You're too innocent for this place. Get out of here while you can." He escorted her into her office and closed the door to his.

     As she sat there, she could feel the emotions radiating from him. She knew he was sitting in his chair looking out the window. Self-contempt mixed with disgust. Then she felt something else. He had opened his pants and was starting to stroke himself while he wallowed in self-pity. Gilda couldn't take it any more. She opened the office door and came up behind him. She put her hand on his shoulder, said, "Let me do it for you," and knelt in front of him. She had never seen a man's penis before. Then suddenly she realized that she hadn't the foggiest notion of what to do with it.

    Lindsey took her chin in his hand and tilted her face up. "You've never done this before, have you?" She shook her head. "In fact, you've never done anything before, right?" She shook her head again. "Well, you're not going to start now, or at least not like this. Will you come home with me?" She nodded. He raised her to her feet and then stood. He zipped up his pants, buckled his belt, and put his arm around her shoulder. Then, gently, he kissed her. "Are you sure you want to do this, Gilda?"

     "More than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life."

     They rode to his condo in silence, but neither of them had to say anything. When they got inside, he kissed her. Then he kissed her again and again. Finally she realized that he still wasn't sure that this was what she wanted. She took off her jacket and started to unbutton her blouse. "Not yet," he said. He took off his jacket and removed his tie with the help of his teeth and led her to the sofa. Then he very gently started kissing her neck and shoulders. She unbuttoned his shirt and undid his cuff links. Finally he picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. His bed was incredible. There had to be four mattresses on it, and there was a built-in sliding breakfast tray. It looked handmade. She gasped in amazement.

     "You're the first person who has seen it except for my cleaning lady. I've never had anyone here in my condo before. I meant what I said about the lipstick on my skin. It's been a long long time."

     "I would have come here the day I met you."

     "No, that wouldn't have been good. We had to get to be friends before we could be lovers. Now the time is right." Slowly he kissed her, caressed her, and stroked her. Her skirt and his pants fell to the floor. She wished she hadn't worn panty hose, as it was awkward taking them off, but eventually they were naked and lying in his bed.

     When he very gently entered her, his mouth on hers and his tongue gently parting her lips, something very strange happened. He felt her mind touch his. Suddenly there was a connection between the two of them. He could feel what she was feeling, and she could also feel him. The pace quickened until the two of them came to orgasm simultaneously. As she lay against him, he realized that he would never be alone again. He had never felt so good in his life. He began to kiss her slowly all over her body. He could feel wave after wave of sheer joy coming from her. Is this what love feels like, he wondered? Have I finally found someone who truly loves me? Do I deserve this? She put her hand on his face. "Lindsey, I just want to look at you." She had tears in her eyes, but he knew that they were tears of happiness. His face was wet, too. They lay wrapped in each other's arms until they drifted into sleep.

     In the morning Lindsey woke and found himself alone in his bed. Yet he felt her presence there. Just then her voice rang out, "Okay, sleepyhead, I'm going to make you breakfast." He slipped out of bed and found her in the kitchen barefoot in one of his shirts. He unbuttoned the shirt and slid it off of her shoulders.

     "There are some things even better than breakfast first thing in the morning." Taking her hand, he led her back to the bed.

     When Gilda & Lindsey finally arrived at the office, there were several voice mail messages waiting for her, all from her father. "Oh, damn."

     Lindsey came up behind her and kissed her on the back of the neck, sending shivers down her spine. He slipped his hand slowly down from her shoulder to her bosom, and she sighed, leaning back against him. She felt him turn his head to look at his very large couch.

     Just then Vicki walked in with the tea tray. Vicki, a happily married woman in her early 40's with two daughters in their late teens, had strong maternal feelings for Lindsey. It made her very happy to see his growing attraction to Gilda. As Lindsey kept Gilda between Vicki and himself, she wondered if more than his attraction was growing! She smiled and left the office, closing the door behind her.

     When Lindsey and Gilda had settled onto the couch, the phone rang again. She got up and looked at the called ID. It was her father again. "Sorry, Lindsey, but I really must talk to him. He'll just keep calling until I do." She picked up the receiver. "Hello, Dad. I'm sorry I worried you. I spent the night with a friend. DAD! We'll discuss it when I get home. Yes, I'll come straight home. Goodbye, Dad."

     As he could sense her emotions now, Lindsey knew that the mood had broken. He hugged her briefly and they sat down to tea and pastries.

     Gilda bit viciously into a pastry. "I'm not a child! I'm a grown woman. Why is he treating me like this?"

     "Because you're his precious daughter and he loves you. We just have to convince him that you and I are right for each other and that I'll make you happy."

     Gilda didn't get as much work done as she had hoped because she was so worried about seeing her father that evening. Lindsey could feel the turmoil inside of her. When lunchtime came, he took her out to a restaurant just so they could be alone and not have to worry about running into Holland or Lilah. "Do you want me to come home with you?'

     "Yes, I want you to, but it would not be a good idea. Thanks for the offer, though."

     At the end of the day, he hugged her hard. "If you need me, just call me. I'm always going to be here for you."

    "Don't you know I'm taking you with me? We have a connection now. I can feel you and you can feel me wherever we are." She kissed him, got into her car, and drove home.

     When she got home, her father and aunt were waiting for her. "Where were you last night? Did you stay with Jill?"

     Gilda held her head high. "No, I was with Lindsey all night. I love him."

     "Did he follow you home from church on every festal morning, Gilda? I had wondered why your mother insisted on giving you that name. But now I can see what she saw. He's a very handsome young man in an evil place, just like the Duke of Mantua. You're the innocent young girl with the hunchbacked father. I can see it playing out just like the opera."

     "It's not like that at all, Dad. I'm not a sheltered young woman who never left the house except to go to church. I'm grown. I'm 22, I've graduated from college, and I was a virgin until last night. I truly love Lindsey, which is why I gave myself to him."

     "I hope you know what you're doing, and I hope you were careful."

     "Don't worry, we were."

     Just then there was a knock on the door. Aunt Frances welcomed Kate Lockley into the house. Kate's father Trevor and Al Nichols had been best friends since they were boys. In fact, Al had wanted to go into the police force with Trevor, but he had been rejected because of the curvature of the spine. Kate and Gilda had grown up together, but, as Kate was several years older, they weren't close. Kate kissed Al & Frances. "Hi, Gilda, how are you?"

     "In disgrace, evidently. I fell in love."

     "What's so bad about that? It's normal for someone your age."

     "You don't know who it is, Kate," Al said. "It's a lawyer from Wolfram & Hart. She left the DA's office to work for them & fell for her boss!"

     "You're kidding, right? Gilda, those guys are bad. Who is it? Oh, no, not Lindsey?"

     "Why not?" Gilda asked indignantly.

     "I know he's really good looking, but he's a sleaze. How could you fall in love with him? Don't you know how you're hurting your father?"

     "Have you ever been in love, Kate? Were you able to choose the man you fell in love with?"

     Kate hesitated very briefly, maybe for just a heartbeat, before she said, "No." A sad look crossed her face so quickly that anyone who saw it would think he or she had just imagined it. But Gilda knew she was lying.

     "Gilda, I know I can't lock you in your room or make you quit your job, but I want you to stop seeing him. And I think Kate and Aunt Frances agree with me."

     Kate nodded. "Believe me, he's wrong for you."

     Gilda took a shot in the dark. "What about the man you're in love with, Kate? He's wrong for you, too." As Kate saddened, Gilda felt guilty. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just want you to understand. Maybe I should find my own place. That would probably be best."

     "Why don't you just move in with your Lindsey?"

     "All right, Dad, I will." Gilda headed for her room and came back with a change of clothes and a couple of her books. "I'll pick up the rest of my things later." She headed out the door. Once she got into her car, she dialed Lindsey on the car phone.

     "What's wrong, Gilda? Didn't things go well? I can tell you're upset."

     "I told them I was moving out, but I have nowhere to go."

     "Yes, you do. I want you to stay with me. Come over as fast as you can. I'll start cleaning out some drawers for you."

     When Gilda arrived at Lindsey's condo, he was down in the parking garage waiting for her. After holding her tight for a minute, he took her books and carried them up to his place. He had no sooner put down her books when the doorbell rang. It was the pizza delivery man. Lindsey paid him and carried the pizza box into the kitchen. "I figured you'd need some comfort food, and nothing is more comforting to me than pizza." It was just the way she liked it, deep dish veggie. She went to the refrigerator and got soda for herself and a beer for Lindsey. But he shook his head. "I know you don't like the smell of beer. I'll have what you're having."

     "I just realized I left before we ate. I'm hungry. Did you know Dad even brought in Kate Lockley to talk me out of being with you?"

     Lindsey frowned. "Kate? Why?"

     "She and I grew up together, although she was older than I so we weren't close. Her father was my father's best friend."

     "I know she doesn't like me at all."

     "None of that matters to me. What does matter is how I feel about you. And I love you."

     "I think I love you. It's been so long since I've loved anyone that I don't know for sure what love is. I loved my mother and my sister Elaine, and maybe my grandfather and my Aunt Maeve. I know I've never felt about anyone else anything vaguely resembling what I feel for you."

     Gilda smiled. "That's enough for me now."

     Gilda & Lindsey quickly fell into a comfortable rhythm combining living together and working together. Although he had a cleaning lady to take care of the heavy work, they shared chores. Gilda made the bed and did the laundry while Lindsey did the lion's share of the cooking. He would often stir up some fantastic sauce or other to create a memorable meal. It was just so easy to go to work together and come home together. As they now had the emotional link, they knew without saying when either of them needed a kind word, or a hug, or just some quiet time alone.

     In their free time, when he wasn't working at home and/or she wasn't studying, they went to movies, explored new restaurants, and went for drives along the ocean. One night they went dancing. When they slow-danced, his artificial hand felt strange against her back, but she quickly got used to it. They actually did quite well at swing dancing and enjoyed it tremendously. There was an exercise room and a pool in the condo building. They would go down and work out but he would not use the pool, the sauna, or the steam room because of his embarrassment over his arm. He would, however, sit by the pool and watch Gilda swim. But he insisted that she buy a one-piece suit and just wear the bikini for him!

     The first time she joined him in his Jacuzzi (a bathroom with a Jacuzzi—she was overwhelmed), she wore it, but he quickly removed the bra and talked her out of the bottoms! Almost every evening they spent a little while in the Jacuzzi together. She would pin her hair up so it wouldn't get wet, but even more so he could unpin it and let it fall over her shoulders and down her back before they went to bed.

     There was one thing they didn't do together. Gilda went to church every Sunday morning, but Lindsey would not accompany her. He had given up going to church because God hadn't saved his mother, the twins, or Elaine. Now that he believed he had sold his soul, he couldn't go, even though he wanted to and he knew how much it would mean to Gilda. After church, however, they'd go out to brunch or he would make breakfast for them: either his special French toast or eggs Benedict with a delicious Hollandaise that he made. Then, as they had fought over who would get to do the New York Times crossword puzzle, he had ordered another subscription, so they would race to see who finished first. He had promised on his honor not to peek at it until she came back from Mass! And he kept his promise.

     And the sex was fantastic. At first Lindsey was quite taken with her combination of innocence and passion. As they became more familiar with each other, they didn't have to say a word. With their connection, they were able to express their wants and needs without having to say anything.

     Lindsey also quit drinking except for an occasional social drink. He had been drinking in his apartment every evening before Gilda came to forget the things he had done that day and to forget how lonely and unhappy he was. Although he was still doing things he wasn't proud of, he wasn't lonely any more. He had a soulmate.

     One morning as they drove out of the parking garage, a car came at them full speed and rammed them. Lindsey had managed to turn the car enough so that the other car hit the rear door rather than the front, or he might have been killed. Fortunately both of them had been wearing their seat belts. Lindsey had been knocked unconscious when he hit his head against the window, but he regained consciousness just a few minutes later. The other driver didn't even attempt to flee. It was Anthony Monterone, the father of the girl whom Brian Schumacher had murdered. As they arrested him and took him away, he looked at Lindsey and said, "I wish I'd killed you, MacDonald. You set my daughter's murderer free. He's dead now. I killed that monster last night. All I can do is curse you. I hope you lose someone you love."

     They took Gilda's car to work, as the Mercedes was totaled. Gilda was very quiet. "What's wrong, Gilda? Do you want to stay home today? I know that was an awful experience for you."

     She shook her head. "It's an omen, Lindsey. Remember Monterone was the one who cursed Rigoletto because the Duke had seduced his daughter. Now Monterone has cursed us."

     "I don't believe in curses, Gilda," he lied, making a mental note to see what he could do about having the curse lifted when he got to work.  

         Then one evening as Lindsey headed to his car as Gilda lagged behind, having decided that she needed to use the bathroom before heading out, he was grabbed from behind and his head was pounded against the trunk of his Mercedes. "All right, Lindsey, tell me all about it."

     As Angel grabbed Lindsey by the throat, he barely managed to choke out, "All about what?"

     Just then Angel was attacked by an extremely angry young woman, who hit him, clawed him, and gave him a good kick where it would hurt the most. As he lay on the ground, she pulled out her cell phone to call the police. Lindsey stopped her. "No, Gilda, don't."

     "Lindsey, this man almost killed you. I can't let him get away with this. He's a common mugger."

   "He's no mugger, Gilda. He's Angel, the vampire with a soul."

     Angel was struggling to his feet. This girl was ferocious. And she was no bigger than Buffy. Of course, she had caught him by surprise, but still. . ."Who are you? And why are you attacking me?"

     "Are you stupid? You were attacking Lindsey. I'm not going to stand around and watch someone so much bigger and heavier attack the man I love. You could have killed him."

     "If I had wanted to kill him, he'd have been dead a long time ago. Believe me, it would have been easy enough. All I want is information. I know that Wolfram & Hart has the Amulet of Amahlia. Do you have any idea what disaster that will cause?'

     "Honestly, Angel, this time I have no idea what you're talking about. Now go away and leave us alone."

     "I mean it, Lindsey. The amulet can call up hordes of Volgar demons. This could bring real disaster to the world. And as for you, young lady, Lindsey is no good for you or anyone. Run, don't walk, as far away from him as fast as you can." Angel turned and left.

     Gilda took Lindsey in her arms. "My God, what is that all about? Who is he? Why does he hate you so much? He's the one who cut your hand off, isn't he?"

     Lindsey opened the car door for her. "It's a long story, and I guess I'd better tell you all of it now. If you hate me and want to leave me, I'll understand."

     Lindsey talked all the way home, filling Gilda in on his entire history with Angel, from Russell Winters, through the hiring of Faith to kill Angel, the rescue of the three children (she winced as he told her how Lee had been shot as he stood next to Lindsey, spattering his blood all over Lindsey's face and clothes), the battle in the crypt that ended with Angel throwing the axe that cut off Lindsey's hand, to Darla. She could feel all of the emotions that he was feeling. When he was telling her how he thought he had been in love with Darla and she had betrayed him, Gilda felt an emotion she had never felt before—jealousy.

     Because of their link, he knew that's what she was feeling. "I know now that I didn't really love Darla. I was very lonely, and I cared for her when she was helpless. But she never gave me anything in return, no matter what I did for her. What I felt for her was infatuation. There was no trust ever, although she could have trusted me completely. When she left, I went ballistic. There's no excuse for what I did, except that I thought Angel had hurt her. I tried to run over him with my truck and then I beat him with a sledge hammer."

     "He got you back, though, didn't he?"

     "Being a vampire, he has superior strength. He did a pretty good number on me."

     "Lindsey, you've had quite a wild couple of years. But I told you I love you. I mean it. I will never leave you, no matter what. I wish, though, that you'd start rethinking some parts of your life."

     "I can't. I signed a contract that's binding even beyond the grave."

     Gilda looked horrified. "What does that mean? You've sold your soul to the devil?"

     "Basically, yes. I was young and I was desperate never to be poor again. I didn't even stop to think about the repercussions."

     "What about me?"

     "That's why I insisted on doing your contract myself. I took that out of yours. Your soul is your own. Vicki, too. After all, she's not involved in anything I do. She's just trying to help her husband send their kids through college."

     "Can yours be broken?"

     "I don't know. I'll have to study it carefully. And speaking of studying, I suggest we get dinner and then you settle down with your books."

     "Yes, Daddy." She smiled at him. "How do you feel about having some Chinese delivered?"

     He nodded. "The usual?" As she agreed, he called the Jade Palace and ordered.

     That night, as usual, Lindsey took off his prosthetic hand before going to bed. Looking at his poor arm always made Gilda a little sad. I'm not going to let Angel hurt him any more, she thought.

     The next day, Thursday, she had class. Between two of her classes was a three hour window, so she set off to Angel Investigations. A beautiful young woman was seated at the desk. "May I help you?"

     Gilda couldn't help smiling at her. "Yes, please, I'd like to speak to Angel."

     "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can Wesley or I help you?" she asked, indicating an attractive young man about Lindsey's age.

     "No, I'm afraid not. I can't stay long, as I have to get back to class. It's very important. I met him yesterday."

     "You're Lindsey's friend, aren't you?" Cordelia asked a little coldly.

     "Yes, I'm Gilda. And I'm in love with Lindsey. I understand that you don't care much for him. . ."

     "That's an understatement," Cordelia cut in.

     "But you don't know him the way I do. And, yes, I know you're the reason why Angel cut off his hand. Lindsey told me everything."

     "And you still love him?" Cordelia was aghast.

     "Yes, I do," Gilda said defiantly. Just then she heard footsteps behind her.

     "So what can I do for you?" Angel asked.

     "I'd like to talk to you privately."

     "Wes, Cordy, why don't you go get some coffee?" The two of them headed out the door. "Now, miss?"

     "Gilda Nichols."

    "Gilda, as in Rigoletto?"

     "Yes, and you're Sparafucile, as in Rigoletto."

     "I assure you I'm not a hired killer."

     "No, you just perform unlicensed amputations."

     "Look, if all you wanted was to insult me, there's no point to this."

     "Yes, there is a very definite point. First of all, I just want to ask you if you have any idea what Lindsey has been going through ever since you did what you did to him? Do you know what a struggle so many things he used to take for granted have become? Simple little things like dressing and eating are a chore, not to mention writing and using the computer, the telephone, etc. If I hadn't come along, he might have surrendered to the depression that he was feeling since he lost his hand."

    "You know, I really don't care, and you're wasting my time."

     "I'll cut to the chase, then. I want to know what it would take to get you to leave him alone. I mean never bother him again. I'll do whatever it takes."

     "Can you get me the Amulet of Ahmalia so I can destroy it? I can't let Wolfram & Hart use it. If you can get it to me, I'll never have anything to do with Lindsey ever."

     "You promise?"

     "I promise. And I promise I'll destroy it."

     "I was telling you the truth when I said I knew nothing about it, and so was Lindsey. I know because I'm an empath, and I could read his shock and bewilderment. If I have a chance to get it, I will. Then leave us both alone for the rest of our lives."

     "All right. I will."

    As Gilda went through the rest of her day, and the evening, she wondered how she could get the amulet. They'll kill me. But I have to save Lindsey. She didn't want to risk asking Lindsey about it. He could tell that she was preoccupied, but she just passed it off as being concern about her studies.

     That night, in bed, she initiated their lovemaking and did everything that she knew Lindsey enjoyed most. Then she lay awake for a little while wondering what she could do to find out. Was there a ritual involved? Maybe if there were, she could somehow find out when & where it was scheduled to be held.

     The next morning, while Lindsey was in the bathroom shaving, she quickly dialed Angel Enterprises on her cell phone. "Wesley, what can you tell me about the amulet that would help me to find it? Is there a ritual? And do you think you could make a duplicate of it? Maybe I could switch them."

     "No, I don't think you should do it, Gilda. It's too dangerous."

     "What Lindsey did to save those three children was dangerous, but it didn't stop him. I can't do any less. Please let me know as soon as possible. I have voice mail on my cell phone. Here's the number." Just then she heard Lindsey turn off his electric razor and turned off her phone. She walked into the bathroom and hugged him hard.

     "What's that all about?" he asked, returning the hug.

     "Just because I love you and you look so cute wrapped in a towel."

     "If we weren't running behind, I'd show you how cute I look without a towel!"

     "How late are we, anyway?"

     "Well, we really shouldn't set a bad example by being on time every day. They'll come to expect it," he said as he let the towel fall and reached behind her to unhook her bra.

     Wesley's phone call came later. "I can make a duplicate, and I know that the ritual needs a full moon. That gives us three days. I'll have the duplicate to you tomorrow. How can I meet you?"

     "I have class tomorrow. Meet me at the Law School at 2:15."

    The following day, with the duplicate amulet in her purse, she went to work feeling sick in the pit of her stomach. But I have to save Lindsey or one day Angel will go too far and kill him, whether he means to or not.

     "You don't look good, darling. Why don't you stay home?"

     "I'm okay, and we have a lot to do."

     "Nothing that can't wait. You could use a day off."

     "No, really. I'm fine," she lied and followed him to the elevator.

     Part of the ritual entailed taking it around to all of the partners' offices. It was on Lindsey's desk and he had knelt in front of it, as he had been told to do, when Vicki buzzed him on the intercom. He and Holland, who had been the one who was bringing it around, needed to talk to Nathan Rayne for a minute. As they left the amulet, Vicki quickly made the switch. Then she realized she had to get out right away.

     Suddenly all of the implications of what she had done hit her like a ton of bricks. She ran into the ladies' room and threw up everything she had eaten that day. Actually it seemed like everything she had eaten all week! Lindsey saw her race by and followed her into the ladies' room, surprising two of the associates. When she emerged from the stall, he was waiting for her.

     "I knew you were sick. Why didn't you stay home?" Then he held her a damp towel to wipe her face. A thought struck him. "Are you pregnant, Gilda?"

     "No, I know I'm not. I guess I feel worse than I thought I did. Maybe I should go home." She knew that he could feel her fear, but he misread it as illness. Thank goodness for that.

     "I'm going to take you home now."

     "No, just call me a taxi. I know you really shouldn't leave." She convinced him to get her a cab and stay. "St. Malachi's Church, please," she told the cabdriver.

     When she got to St. Malachi's, she took the amulet and dipped it in the holy water font. The water boiled and steamed, and the amulet changed. The aura around it vanished. Gilda knelt and said a quick prayer for herself and for Lindsey and then took it to Angel Investigations.

     She handed the amulet to Wesley. "What have you done to it? I don't feel anything coming from it, but it's definitely the real amulet, not my copy."

     "I immersed it in holy water, but I want to see it smashed anyway. Perhaps otherwise the power could be brought back to it."

     "I agree," said Angel, coming up behind her. He took a heavy axe from the wall and smashed it.

     "Tell me, is that the axe you used on Lindsey? Did you get a lot of satisfaction from that?"

     "Yes, it is. I thought at the time that all I cared about was Cordelia, but, yes, it was satisfying to see him brought down after everything. I'll let him alone, but I doubt that the bad blood between us will ever end. I hope you won't ever regret loving him."

     "Never, as long as I live." She turned and left.

     "I truly don't think that will be very long, Angel. Wolfram & Hart will figure out what she's done and she'll pay for it. I know it," Wesley admonished him.

     "She may have saved thousands of lives, Wes."

     "Go ahead and rationalize, Angel. I just hope they don't hurt her too much. I truly regret my part in this." Wesley turned and walked away.

     Gilda went back to the condo, threw herself on the bed, and wept. Then she wrote a few letters: to her father, to her Aunt Frances, to Kate Lockley, and to Jill, just telling them how much she loved them and how sorry she was for anything she had done to hurt them. Then she wrote a note of thanks to Vicki.    Dropping them all in the mail slot, she went back into the condo. Then she dressed in a beautiful negligee and cooked dinner for Lindsey. Even though he was the one who did most of the cooking, there were some things she did really well. He came back early, as she had thought he probably would, and smiled to see that she was waiting for him with dinner.

     "Are you feeling better? I was worried."

     "Yes, I am. It was probably a 24 hour thing. I made coq au vin."

     "It smells wonderful. Give me a minute to shower."

     After dinner they spent some time in the Jacuzzi and then went to bed. Gilda knew that it might be the last time they made love, so she was determined to remember every second. As it turned out, it wasn't, as Lindsey woke up in a romantic mood the next morning. They shared their last moments of passion together and then Lindsey went to work and, as staying home would have been useless, Gilda went to class. At least concentrating on law school made it easier to push the coming events out of her mind for a while.

     As she left class, she called Lindsey on her cell phone. "I just wanted to know where we should meet for dinner."

     "How about the Eagle's Nest at 6? I have to come back for this ritual, so it has to be close. Can you make reservations?"

     "Okay. Should I plan to come back with you afterwards?"

     "NO! I don't want you involved with this at all. I wish I didn't have to be, but it's required of all associates and above. Vicki won't be staying, of course. And, as a paralegal, you don't need to be here. Of course we have a few who want to, like Victor."

     Victor, Lilah's paralegal (as Lindsey had one, she demanded one too), was handsome, sexy, and had an aura of evil about him. About once a week he would come to work with a small animal that was never seen again. Lindsey had issued an order to the guards not to let him anywhere near the day care!

     The Eagle's Nest was an elegant restaurant atop a nearby office building with a beautiful view of the city. Gilda was glad Lindsey had suggested it for her last meal. She forced herself to eat the delicious food calmly, although her heart was pounding in her chest. How long would it be until the switch was discovered? If Lindsey or anyone else she liked were accused, she'd admit it. Or, of course, they could have their ways of finding out. She figured the odds of getting away with it were about one in ten million.

     "You're very tense tonight. Is there a problem? Are things all right at law school?"

     "I guess it's just a lingering feeling from the flu bug. I wish you & I could get away."

     "Maybe we could take a vacation at the end of the semester. You deserve it. You've worked very hard."

     "That would be great. Why don't we plan something when you get home?"

     "Maybe a cruise—Hawaii or Alaska. How does that sound?"

     Like heaven, she thought. Oh, Lindsey, if only we could have met before you joined Wolfram & Hart. Of course I would have been about 18 then and too young for you. I love you so much.

      "I love you, darling." Lindsey took her hand. "I have to go now. Get some sleep."

     "Only if you promise to wake me when you get in. Let me drive you back to the office."

     "I can walk. It's only a block and a half."

     "Please."

     "Sure. Thank you. You are too good to me." He tousled her hair.

     If you only knew, Lindsey. If you only knew, she thought.

     After she dropped him off at the entrance, she drove around the block twice, getting the courage to do what she had to do. Then she drove into the parking garage and took the elevator to the 15^th floor. She slipped in the door and stood in the back of the room. Lindsey was up in the second row, behind Holland, who was flanked by Lilah and Victor. She could feel his disgust and, could it be, shame? He felt her mind touch his and turned around, but he couldn't see her. Then he turned back to the ritual.

     Nathan Rayne, in a black robe, was chanting in Latin. His chanting got louder and louder, but nothing happened. He turned to Holland, who shrugged his shoulders. Suddenly she could feel Lindsey starting to worry. Nathan Rayne looked at the amulet and proclaimed loudly, "It's a fake! Holland, what have you done with the real amulet?"

     "Nothing. It was never out of my sight." He paused and thought. "Except once for about five minutes I left it in Lindsey's office when you called us out to discuss the plans for this ceremony."

     Nathan turned to Lindsey. "Did you take it, MacDonald?" He snapped his fingers and the mindreaders came. They stood in front of Lindsey, who was sweating profusely. Then they went to Rayne and consulted quietly with him. "So Angel had come to you about it. You didn't take it but you think you know who did. You'll tell me or. . ."

     "I did it." Gilda stepped through the crowd to face Nathan Rayne. "I knew it was evil and I took it to Angel, who destroyed it." Lindsey reached for her as she went by, but she shook his hand off. Rayne smacked her across the face so hard it knocked her to the floor. Lindsey tried to go to her, but Holland stopped him.

     "No, Lindsey, if you value your life," Holland whispered to him. "Rayne will kill you too. After all, you hired her. And she's your lover. Stay out of this." He held Lindsey's arm tightly. Victor stepped forward, picked her up, and carried her to the altar. "Now get out, Lindsey."

     Lindsey shook off Holland's arm, but he motioned to the security guards. They took Lindsey out and locked the door behind him.

     Nathan Rayne drew out a dagger and raised it over Gilda. Then he stopped and gave it to Victor. "You've shown some real creativity, Victor. Let's see what you can do with a human."

     Before he could do anything, Holland stepped up to Rayne. Rayne nodded and spoke to Victor. Then Victor put down the dagger. "Tie her down."

     Lindsey didn't know what they were doing to her; he didn't want to know. He could feel her pain but, even worse, he heard music. She must have been trying to concentrate on it to block out as much of the pain as she could. First there was Caro Nome, the aria Gilda sang after she and the Duke had their first meeting and the love duet.

     "Caro Nome, dearest name. My name is Coward." Lindsey thought. Why hadn't he gone in to be with her? He knew he couldn't have saved her, but he could at least have held her hand or something. He was afraid of Wolfram & Hart. So he sat at his desk.

     The pain grew worse and the song changed to On Every Festive Morning. After Gilda had been seduced by the Duke, she sang this to her father, explaining how she had seen him at Church and fallen in love with him. Tears were rolling down Lindsey's face, but he ignored them. She was so brave, just like Gilda in the opera. But how could she have done this to him? How could she have betrayed Wolfram & Hart and him? Why didn't he try to do something to help her? He was a selfish coward. But he still sat and did nothing.

     Finally the last duet, as Rigoletto held his dying daughter in his arms after she had sacrificed herself to save the man she loved came into his mind. And at the end, as Gilda's voice just died away, so did her voice in his head. There was one last word, "Lindsey," and then there was nothing. No trace of her presence at all. He sat unmoving at his desk in his pitch black office. Still he didn't move. The tears should have stopped, but they continued as if from a bottomless well.

     The words of Oscar Wilde from The Ballad of Reading Gaol came into his mind:

     "Each man kills the thing he loves, By all let this be heard.

      The coward does it with a kiss, The brave man with a sword."

     Some of the guards took her body and set it up to look as if she had been killed by a hit and run driver on her way to class. Holland had known that they couldn't hide her death from her father, so he thought this way was best. Rayne had agreed. Victor had done a good job.

     He couldn't go back to the condo. Too much of Gilda was there. Her scent was on the pillows and the sheets. Her comb and perfume bottles were on the dresser, and her clothes in his closet. The ice cream and diet soda that she loved were in the refrigerator. Lindsey couldn't bring himself to face it.

     Finally his head came to rest on his arms and he slept, but not peacefully. In his dream he saw his mother and his sister Elaine looking at him with expressions of great sorrow. They turned their backs on him and walked away.

     The next day he got a visit from Kate Lockley. "Don't come to the funeral home or the funeral, Lindsey. I mean it. I love Al Nichols as if he were my own father, and in a way he was better to me than my father was, and I don't want him hurt." She paused as she saw how this was tearing Lindsey apart. "I believe you really did love Gilda, but I know you let Wolfram & Hart kill her. I'll try to prove it if I can. But just stay away."

As she started to leave, she turned back. "I'll tell you where she's buried so you can visit her grave later on. That's all I'll do for you."

     In the end it was the silence that undid him. He couldn't enter a room without turning on the television or the stereo, but the silence in his mind persisted. He was so very alone even in the middle of the halls of Wolfram & Hart. Nothing held any joy or delight any more. One day he took off work to see the Dodgers play. The newspaper later referred to it as the most exciting game of the year, but halfway through it he got up and left.

     One night he went to a bar and picked up a lovely young woman. However, before he got to the condo, he knew he couldn't take her upstairs. He hailed a cab and sent her home. He lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. At first he started to try to bring himself some relief, but then he remembered Gilda offering to do it for him. Why? Why had she loved him? He was worthless.

     Lindsey couldn't look at himself in the mirror any more. He really didn't care how he looked or what he wore. He let his hair grow long as it had been when he had taken care of Darla. As food no longer mattered to him, he lost a good deal of weight. His clothes hung on him. And he started drinking again, even more than before. Had he looked in a mirror, he would not have recognized himself. All of the associates would shake their heads and murmur when he walked by.

     Lilah couldn't help gloating a little. He thought he was so great, making junior partner before she did, even though she had more time at the firm. But now he was totally coming unglued. Even Holland had given up on him. See, Holland, you bet on the wrong associate. She started planning how she would decorate the office.

     Vicki tried hard to help. She brought in all of the food she knew he loved and cooked treats for him at home. "I appreciate it, Vicki, but please, I'm just not hungry." Finally she gave up.

     One day he called her into his office. "Vicki, you're fired. I want you out of here so you'll be safe. Here." He handed her an envelope with $20,000 in cash and a glowing recommendation. "I've seen to it that you'll keep your health insurance until you get another job, and you'll get severance pay for a month. But I want you away from Wolfram & Hart. Now please pack up your things."

     She started to cry and kissed him. "Lindsey, I'll pray for you. I wish I could have helped you."

     "You did, Vicki, more than you'll ever know. It was nice to have a friend as loyal as you. I hope you have the happy life you deserve." He ushered her out of his office and closed the door. Then he let the tears come.

     That same day as he walked to his car he found Al Nichols pointing a gun at him. "I'm going to kill you, MacDonald." He pointed the gun directly at Lindsey's face. "I'm going to destroy that pretty face of yours that my Gilda fell in love with."

     "No, you're not," Lindsey said calmly.

     "Why not?"

     "Because that would dishonor Gilda's memory. You'd be a murderer and she would never want that. She loved you and respected you too much." Lindsey paused and looked at him sadly. "Anyway, when I get home, I'm going to kill myself. I can't live like this any more. I can't take the silence. And suicide will damn me to hell, so I'll be suffering for what I've done for all eternity. Are you satisfied?"

     Al slowly dropped the gun, turned, and walked away. Lindsey picked up the gun and got into his car. He drove to the Hyperion, parked, and walked in. Angel was there sitting at the desk. "What the hell do you want here, Lindsey?"

     Lindsey dropped the gun on his desk. "Two things. First, I want you to get rid of this. A very sad man was going to kill me to avenge his daughter's death. I don't want this to fall into the wrong hands. You can kill me with it if you want. I just don't want him to be accused of my murder or anything else."

     Angel stared at him. He almost didn't recognize the scarecrow that stood in front of him as the handsome, dapper Lindsey MacDonald he knew and hated. "If I were to kill you, Lindsey, I wouldn't use a gun. So what's the other thing?"

     Lindsey could barely choke out the question. "What did you offer Gilda, Angel? What was worth so much that she was willing to risk her life for it? To betray me? I thought she loved me."

      "She did it for you, Lindsey. I promised her that I'd never bother you again. I'd never hurt you. I'd just leave you alone. She was willing to risk the wrath of Wolfram & Hart to save you. That's how much she loved you."

     Lindsey seemed to collapse into himself. "My God, no! Why didn't she tell me?" He rose and slowly walked to the door. Then he turned back to Angel. "Her death is on your head, too. Didn't you know when you bargained with her for that amulet that she'd have to answer to Wolfram & Hart for it? I was right about you. You are Sparafucile, the assassin, and you helped to kill Gilda just as much as if you'd stabbed her yourself. And that would have been much less painful for her than the way she actually died. Think about it, Angel." He gave Angel a look of contempt and left. On the way out he passed Cordelia. Could that be Lindsey? He looks absolutely ghastly!

     Wesley had been in the doorway, but Lindsey hadn't seen him. Wes, however, had heard everything. "You shouldn't have let her do that, Angel. I told her so, but she wouldn't listen. She loved him too much to worry about herself."

     Just like Gilda gave herself up to Sparafucile to save the Duke, Angel thought. He hung his head in remorse. Lindsey was right; Gilda's blood was on his hands.

     A short while later Cordelia suddenly reeled and fell to the ground. Wesley caught her before her head hit. "What is it, Cordy?"

     "It's Lindsey. He's in a Jacuzzi, under water drowning. He's committing suicide!"

     "I knew it. He was a totally broken man when he came in. He loved her and she died to save him. We've got to help him."

     "Let's go," Angel said.

     "You can't go in unless he invites you," Wes said.

     "Or unless he's dead," added Gunn.

     "No, but I can drive faster than you can, and you can break the door down and go in."

     "Are you sure he'll thank us for saving him? He seemed to be in such deep despair over Gilda's death." Cordelia asked.

     "I have to. I have no choice," said Angel, as he started out the door.

     When Lindsey returned to his condo, he turned on the water and filled the Jacuzzi. Then he took off his clothes, swallowed a handful of sleeping pills, and grabbed a bottle of Scotch. Before he got into the tub, he turned on the stereo. Only one thing would do: Rigoletto. He sat down in the tub and started drinking straight from the bottle. As he started to grow drowsy, he started sliding farther down into the water. Just before the water reached his nose, he suddenly prayed, "Oh, God, I am so sorry. I wish I had another chance. I'd take care of Gilda. I'd love her and cherish her and protect her forever. Please." Then his head sank below the water. He saw nothing but darkness.

     Then suddenly a bright light shone in his eyes. This can't be, he thought. There's no way I'd ever go to heaven. But he opened his eyes. He found himself lying in a hospital bed, tubes attached to both arms and a breathing tube in his nose. A doctor was shining a light in his eyes. And, wonder of wonders, next to the bed was Gilda. She looked awful. There were dark circles under her eyes and she had lost weight she couldn't afford to lose. And nothing had ever looked better to him in his entire life. Next to her were her father and her aunt. "Lindsey," she breathed softly. A smile lit up her face, and she crossed herself. "Oh, my love, I was so worried. I was so afraid I'd lost you forever."

     He struggled to speak, "Gilda." Then he realized that she was empathetically connected to him again. He tried to sit up but the doctor placed a firm hand on his chest and held him down.

     "Not yet, Mr. MacDonald. You have a long way to go. Take it one step at a time."

     "What h-h-h-happened?" he struggled to get out.

     "When Mr. Monterone rammed our car, you must have hit your head. You've been in a coma for over a month."

     The doctor, whose nametag read Dr. Martin Gold, turned to Gilda. "I think he'll be all right now, young lady. However, I do have to run some tests. And you need to go get something to eat and some rest." He turned back to Lindsey. "She hasn't left your side except to go to the chapel and pray. She even spent the nights on a cot here next to you. Now I want her to get a good night's sleep and a good meal." He turned to Al & Frances. "Make this girl go home with you. She can come back tomorrow morning. No sooner!"

     Gilda leaned over and kissed Lindsey on his forehead. "I love you, Lindsey. I'll be here first thing, I promise."

     "I love you, Gilda. Marry me, please."

     "Of course I will. Whenever you want."

     "That's all I want. That's all I'll ever want. Except maybe for a few kids."

     Now that he knew he had Gilda back and that he had another chance, Lindsey slept peacefully. A little while later he awoke to find Holland standing by the side of his bed.

     "Holland! What are you doing here?"

     "I heard you had regained consciousness. I have to tell you about the fire at the office. Very mysterious. A small fire in the vault. It just happened the morning of your accident. The smoke alarms went off, which is how we knew about it. Just one thing was burned, and it was in a locked file in a locked vault. Would you like to know what it is, Lindsey?" He smiled that smile which Lindsey always hated.

     "Only if it pertains to Gilda or me."

     "Oh, it does. The only thing that burned was your contract with Wolfram & Hart. Everything else is completely intact, not even charred. So I guess you're no longer employed by Wolfram & Hart. I'll ask Miss Nichols to clean out your desks. As she was your employee, I'm not going to offer to keep her on. Frankly, she doesn't meet our standards. And neither do you any more, since you've met her. Pity. You had such a bright future."

     "I don't really understand."

     "There is a loophole, an escape clause, if you will, in our standard contract. You can break your contract with a sincere deathbed repentance. I understand that you not only repented on you death bed, or, I should say, in your death Jacuzzi, but that you were given another chance and time was turned back so that you were injured in the accident instead of walking away from it. By the way, don't expect any references from us. You or Miss Nichols, or Mrs. Barnes, either."

     "Vicki? What about her?"

     "When she heard that we were not going to offer you another contract, she quit. She never had the standard contract. Somehow we never owned her soul. So she's free to go. Also I've asked Miss Nichols to move you out of the condo. That belongs to the firm. You will, however, get your health coverage until you recover. And one month's severance pay for you, Miss Nichols, and Mrs. Barnes. Goodbye, Lindsey. I can't tell you how much you've disappointed me." Holland turned and left.

     Lindsey closed his eyes and prayed silently. Thank you, God. Thank you for giving me another chance. Thank you for my Gilda. And thank you for getting me out of Wolfram & Hart. As he dropped off to sleep, he thought he saw his mother and his sister Elaine standing by his bed smiling at him. Mom, Elaine, I love you, he thought.

     As soon as he was able to use the phone, he called Angel Investigations and asked Wesley to please ask Angel to come and see him. Late that night, after visiting hours, when everybody but the night staff was gone, he felt Angel's presence at his side.

     "So why did you want to see me, Lindsey? I hope you didn't expect candy or flowers from me. I wouldn't bring you any."

     Lindsey laughed. "Just two things, Angel. I want to tell you that I've left Wolfram & Hart for good, and Gilda has left with me, along with my secretary. It's permanent. My contract mysteriously burned up while it was in a locked file in the locked vault. Interesting, isn't it?"

     "I've heard that you were going to change before. How do I know it's true?"

     "I want to tell you a story. I haven't even told this to Gilda, the woman I'm going to marry as soon as I can get out of the hospital. But somehow I know you'll understand."

Lindsey went on to tell Angel all of the events that had happened up until the suicide attempt. Angel looked horrified as he related the details of Gilda's death and, when he realized that Lindsey was right and it was partially his fault, he did look remorseful.

     "Is this true? You remember all of this?"

     "I have the feeling that something similar once happened to you. Time was turned back but you were allowed to keep the memory. Am I right? I wouldn't presume to ask what happened, but now maybe you'll understand why I am definitely going to become the person my mother wanted me to be."

     Angel looked directly into his eyes and saw truth there. "Yes, something of the sort did happen to me, and I was allowed to keep the memory. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. And, for my part in Gilda's torture and death, I am truly sorry. I never thought that she'd be hurt, but I should have known better. Goodnight, Lindsey." Suddenly Angel was gone.

     Lindsey had another visitor the next day. Father Brendan came by. "I was here several times to comfort Gilda, and, I'll admit, I was prepared once or twice to administer the last rites to you. I'm glad you're better now. Gilda is ecstatic. She's a wonderful young woman and Al loves her dearly."

     "I'm glad you came. I need to go to confession, and I know it will take a long time. Can I do it here, or must I wait till I'm out of the hospital? And I also want to go to Pre-Cana with Gilda so we can have a church wedding. Just tell me what we need to do."

     "As you have a private room, I can hear your confession now. I brought communion with me in case you'd like to receive it afterwards."

     "Yes, I would." Father Brendan shut the door and Lindsey began the lengthy list of the sins he had committed. Finally, he said, "To the best of my recollection, that's it. But I guess that's enough. I'm sorry, I don't remember the Act of Contrition, but I'm do remember the other prayers."

     Father helped him through the Act of Contrition and assigned a suitable penance. "You'll be here for quite a while, so I think you can spend time getting all those Hail Marys and Our Fathers in. Do you want to receive communion now? I'll trust you to complete your penance after I go."

      Lindsey nodded, "And probably for the next couple of days. I'm sure it'll take that long." He opened his mouth and, for the first time since he was confirmed at 12, he took communion. He felt really good and, for the first time in several years, truly clean.

     Al Nichols came with Gilda the next day. "I'm going to help Gilda move you out of your condo. Father Brendan told me that you've started back to the church. As your intentions toward my daughter are honorable, I'm inviting you to move in with us, but I will not allow you to share a bedroom. If those conditions are agreeable to you, we'll just move your things in today. And we'll clear out your office."

     "They're more than agreeable. You're very generous. I promise I won't break your trust. And I appreciate your help."

     Dr. Gold came in to see Lindsey and told him that, if he continued the remarkable improvement that he had shown so far, he could leave the hospital in two days. So he ate everything that was put in front of him, worked with the physical therapist, slept as much as he could, and even finished up all of his penance.

     Late that night he had another visitor. "Hello, Lindsey," a throaty feminine voice said.

     "Darla? Where did you come from?"

     "It doesn't matter. I just thought I should congratulate you. I understand you're getting married. I knew you didn't really love me, Lindsey. But you do love her. I know you tried to do your best for me, even when you brought Drusilla to make me a vampire again, and I wish you happiness." She bent down, kissed his forehead, and disappeared.

      Two days later he was discharged from the hospital. Al and Gilda picked him up and took him home, where a small but comfortable bedroom awaited him. "Dr. Gold said he wanted you to take things very easy for the next few days, so I'll see to it that you do," she told him. "That is, when I'm not in class."

      Although Lindsey knew that he was finally away from Wolfram & Hart, the realization that he was unemployed just hit him. How could he support himself, let alone support Gilda? "Did you bring my laptop? I need to get a resume out." Yeah, sure, a resume that only read Wolfram & Hart, and no references. Now what?

      Gilda also realized that they had no jobs, but she had an idea. She pulled up her notes on the Wright case and called Billy Wright's mother.

      "Hello, this is Corinne Wright."

      "Mrs. Wright, my name is Gilda Nichols. I work for Lindsey MacDonald, the lawyer who represented Billy, and I'd like to come and see you if I may."

      "I'd be happy to see you, Miss Nichols. I appreciate what you and Lindsey did for Billy. He has really straightened himself out now. When can you come? How is noon today? We'll have lunch."

      Gilda presented herself at the Wrights' mansion promptly at noon. Mrs. Wright received her graciously and led her to a beautiful table set out on the patio overlooking the garden. After luncheon had been served to them, Corinne asked, "What can I do for you, Gilda?"

      "I don't know if you've heard this or not, but Lindsey is no longer affiliated with Wolfram & Hart. Neither am I, for that matter. I was wondering if you might have any idea of someone who could use his services."

     "As a matter of fact, I do. I am divorcing my husband. Lindsey was right; he should have been there for Billy. He's never been there for Billy or for me. He has, however, been there for his secretary! And I happen to be the one with the money in the family. When could I see Lindsey? I'll be happy to wait until he recuperates. And of course he'd want an assistant to help him."

     Gilda was ecstatic, and so was Lindsey when she told him. The next week he went to see Corinne and was retained to represent her, not only in the divorce, but in managing her large holdings. She also recommended him to her friends. Lindsey found a suite of rooms in a very good downtown office building, hired back Vicki, and set up an office.

     Lindsey and Gilda were married in June, as soon as they finished pre-Cana. Gilda did eventually finish law school and pass the bar, but she took some time off to give birth to Evelyn Mary, named after their mothers, the first of their four children. Al was delighted with his new granddaughter and, seeing how much Lindsey and Gilda loved each other, finally learned to love Lindsey as well. The practice thrived. Lindsey MacDonald, Attorney at Law, became MacDonald & MacDonald, Attorneys at Law; one day in the future it became MacDonald, MacDonald, & MacDonald, when Eve became an attorney.

Their private lives thrived as well. Lindsey and Gilda always put their family first. They also developed a circle of friends, including Corinne and Billy Wright, Kate Lockley and her husband, assistant district attorney Ryan Edwards, Jill and her husband, and even Wes and Cordelia Wyndham-Pryce. Even Angel eventually came to trust them.