Suddenly Lindsey's grin softened into a genuine smile with real warmth in it, and he handed the book to Wesley. "I didn't know you read this type of thing, Wesley. I thought you only read ancient scrolls and musty volumes of magic. But 'Burn, Witch, Burn,' and 'Creep, Shadow, Creep'? I thought I was the only person around who still read A. Merritt. By the way, you'll enjoy these. I used to dream about the Demoiselle Dahut d'Ys. Rather embarrassing dreams, if you know what I mean."

"Somehow I never would have thought of you as a fantasy lover. So you've read these?"

Lindsey nodded. "Our local public library had a pretty good selection, and it was a good escape from a very unpleasant reality. I've also read all of C.L. Moore. My next crush after Dahut was Jirel of Joiry, although I couldn't possibly imagine her paying any attention to me. Angel, maybe."

Wesley was nodding in agreement. "I loved the Jirel stories, and also Northwest Smith. I think he was the precursor of Indiana Jones. What about 'Vintage Season?"

"One of the very best novelettes ever. I wish they'd film it. And 'Shambleau'. And how about H.P. Lovecraft? And Robert Howard's Conan books?"

Wesley was nodding in agreement. "I loved Edgar Rice Burroughs' Mars books. I fell for Dejah Thoris."

"It was her daughter Tara of Helium that I really liked. I imagined myself as Gahan of Gathol."

The two men stood talking until the proprietor informed them that he was about to close. Lindsey and Wes headed to the front where they paid for their purchases. Lindsey's book was 'The Warlord of Mars,' the one he needed to make his set complete. As he set his book down and reached in his left pants pocket for his money, Wesley noticed that his right hand was artificial. Not only artificial, but ugly as well. He managed to look away before Lindsey could tell that he had been staring. "Wes, how would you like to get some dinner? On me?"

He probably shouldn't considering the bad blood between Lindsey and his employer, but somehow he wanted to get to know him better. After all, someone who shares one of your interests, especially one as rare as this, doesn't come along too often. "I'd like that."

They walked down the street about a block to a place called Giovanni's, which seemed to be a family-owned place. It wasn't fancy but was very clean and attractively decorated. They were shown to a table in about five minutes, as the place was full but a couple was just leaving as they entered. Lindsey didn't bother with the menu. Evidently he had been there before. "They have a pretty good house chianti, Wes. How about a glass? Or we could split a half bottle."

"One glass is about my limit, thanks. What do you recommend?"

"Linguine with white clam sauce is outstanding, but it's a little hard for me to eat nowadays." Lindsey grimaced and Wes felt a twinge of pity for him. "I'm going to have the penne marinara. That's also really good."

Although the idea of linguine had appealed to Wes, he really didn't want to make Lindsey feel bad by enjoying it in front of him, so he said, "That does sound good. I'll have some too."

When the waitress arrived to take their order, Lindsey greeted her by name. Wes noticed that he kept his right arm off of the table. Along with their food Lindsey ordered a basket of garlic bread. The bread came right away along with small salads, both of which were delicious.

"I know that you noticed my hand, Wes, and I'm sure you know how that happened. This has nothing to do with us as far as I'm concerned."

"I was wondering why it hadn't been reattached. I know that it's done all the time nowadays. Or why you don't have a better prosthesis."

"I guess it's not part of the benefits package that goes with the job. Actually, I don't know why the firm didn't take care of me better than this, but I'll get even with them one day. I'm adjusting to it, but it's difficult. At least I can drive. I've learned to shift gears with this thing. Getting dressed and finding things that I can eat with one hand is often very difficult. Needless to say, your boss is not one of my favorite people right now."

"You're not one of his, either, considering what Cordelia went through."

"I know. That was a really bad mistake on my part and, believe it or not, there was nothing personal in it. At least nothing against her. I hope she's all right. But if I hadn't done what I did, I might be a corpse with two good hands. But I think that's enough of that subject. How do you like the food here?"

"It's fantastic! If the penne marinara is this good, the linguine must be really great."

"That was very considerate of you not to order it. I do appreciate it."

The two men ate in silence for a minute or two until Wes broke it. "Was it true what you said that day you first came to the office? About being so poor and losing some of your siblings?"

Lindsey nodded, a look of real sadness on his face. "It was. I was ten when the twins died. They were only three months old. I was holding my baby sister in my arms when she died. I remember rubbing her arms to try to warm her. When they tried to take her away from me, I told them she was just sleeping. Elaine, my sister, was holding our little brother and sobbing. Mom was lying in bed sobbing too. She died a couple of days later. Since the twins were born she had become very weak. Their deaths seemed to take away her will to live. It made me really angry when Angel mocked me, but at that point the lives of those three children were more important than my feelings."

"You have to understand that, as you had hired Faith to kill him, his feelings weren't completely unjustified."

"I realize that. But what I had just done could have resulted in my death. After all I was standing next to Lee Mercer when the mindreaders came. He was shot to death, and I could have been, too, if it hadn't been for Holland."

"Why do you stay there, Lindsey? Is it the money?"

"You don't know how often I've asked myself that question. The money is a big part of it. I really did live in a shack with no toilet for a while. All of my clothes came from charity, at least until I could earn enough money to start buying my own. I have ugly feet because I rarely had shoes that fit me properly. And often there was no food for the family. Thank goodness we lived in southern California, where we didn't have to put up with really cold weather. So it does mean a lot to me to be able to live well now."

"I've known some pretty miserable wealthy people, Lindsey. My father, for one."

"My father was a drunk. There are three kinds of drunks, Wes, the happy ones, like you see in comedy shows, the violent ones, and the sad ones. Mine was a sad one. He never laid a hand on Mom or me or any of the other kids. He'd just come home and cry. Often he'd tell me it was all my fault. If I hadn't been born, things would be a lot different. He'd be a big NFL star and Mom would be rich. But I came along & screwed everything up for them."

"As if it was your fault!"

Lindsey nodded. "I know that, and I knew it in my mind, but in my heart I felt that he was right. Then when I went to school, the kids called Elaine and me 'trailer trash.' I had a pretty miserable childhood and adolescence. That's another thing I resent about Angel. He was wealthy and had all of the advantages, but he was a drunken bum before Darla vamped him. If I'd been in his shoes, and I'm sure they fit him better than mine fit me, I'd have made something of myself."

"You don't know everything about him. He had a brother, Sean, who died young. His father resented the fact that Sean was dead and Liam was alive. He made Angel's life hell. Angel didn't help the situation with his behavior, I'll grant you that, but still he was pretty badly abused, at least psychologically."

"What about you, Wes? You just said your father was miserable. What's your story?"

"I come from a long line of Watchers. We have to be the best because it's an awesome responsibility. But my best was never good enough for my father. He used to lock me in a dark closet under the stairs for hours whenever I failed him. That's why I had to push myself so hard to achieve. I hated it in there with the bugs and sometimes the rats. But he had me convinced that it was all my fault."

"That's why I'm sure I'll never have children. I'd probably be a lousy father. I didn't have much of a role model."

"Maybe not, Lindsey. You know what not to do. I think men can go one way or the other. They can be just like their fathers or they can try to do just the opposite and be really good, loving parents. You just have to be very conscious of what you're doing and keep remembering not to do what your father did to you."

"I'll keep that in mind, although I don't think I'll ever find a woman who could love me, particularly now with this abomination for a hand. And I don't know if I'd dare love a woman because of Wolfram & Hart. They could always use my family as a Sword of Damocles hanging over my head. You know the saying, hostages to fortune. Well, it would be hostages to Wolfram & Hart."

"You're afraid to leave, right? Even with the evidence against them that you have hidden."

"Yes, I am. Robert Price, one of the junior partners, did something that displeased the senior partners, and they made him eat his own liver in front of all of the associates. Lee Mercer got off really easy compared to that. They just shot him in the head. I can't imagine what they could do to me. They still might one day. Do you know I have a big office but my name is not on the door? It was when I was an associate but not now that I'm a 'junior partner.'"

"You really must be walking a tightrope, Lindsey. I don't envy you much."

"Don't. When we leave here, I'll go home to an empty apartment with nothing to do and nobody who gives a damn about me. At least tonight I have a good book to read. You have friends who care about you."

"I didn't always. Do you know anything about English boarding schools?"

Lindsey shook his head. "Only from an occasional movie or book, but I don't know how accurate they are."

"I don't know about all of them, but mine was a horrible place. The head boy was a real sadist, as were some of the masters. I was considered too scrawny and homely to be one of their pets, thank goodness. But there was so much brutality. And no one trusted anyone else. Very few people could actually be trusted. The food was horrible, the rooms were cold and drafty except in the summer, when they were hot as hell. But once I graduated from Harrowshire, I was accepted into Oxford. That was actually pretty nice. But even when I got the top marks, my father wasn't satisfied. He wanted me to be a cricket or rugby star as well. I actually did fairly well at cricket, but I got a concussion the first time I played rugby. He was so embarrassed to see me carried off the field."

"At least he came to see you play. My dad never made it to any of my baseball games, even when we played for the state championship."

"I did do well at fencing. I was the school champion, but he didn't really care about that at all."

"So then you became a Watcher and they gave you Faith. She was a real handful, wasn't she?"

"She was more than I could handle. I wish I could have been a better watcher for her. She evidently had a terrible childhood. I think she might have been abused, maybe even sexually, by a stepfather or even her own mother. She needed much more than I was able to give her."

"I had heard a rumor that she had almost tortured you to death. True?"

"Quite true. I still have a few scars from the experience. However, maybe she's changing. She did give herself up to the police voluntarily."

"I hope so. I do regret getting her involved with the firm. Not only for her sake, but because it made me look bad when it failed."

"Just when I was starting to like you, Lindsey, you make a comment like that."

"At least it was an honest one, Wes. I'm sorry that I'm not noble like Angel, but I don't have his record of murder and sadism. Didn't I hear something about his torturing Giles and also driving Drusilla insane before making her a vampire?"

"He wasn't Angel then, he was Angelus."

"And Angelus could come back. But anyway, back to you. Are you and Cordelia a couple? She is really a gorgeous girl. Or is it the rich girl that I've seen you with in the papers?"

"Cordelia and I are just friends and colleagues. Why? Are you interested in her?"

Although Lindsey noticed that Wesley had blushed when he denied a relationship with Cordelia, he didn't mention it. "No. I might have been once upon a time, but I've given her too much grief. I'd never be able to expect her to forgive, let alone forget. And I'm sure she hates my guts. Not to change the subject, but the tiramisu here is outstanding."

"Do they have cannoli?" Lindsey nodded. "I've always had a weakness for cannoli."

Lindsey motioned to the waitress and ordered a cannoli, a tiramisu, and expresso. When they arrived, he presented a platinum credit card to the waitress, signed the bill, and added a generous tip. "Don't worry, Wes. That's my personal credit card. You're not dining at Wolfram & Hart's expense."

"I appreciate that. It's quite thoughtful of you."

The rest of the meal was spent discussing their favorite fantasy books again. As it grew late, Lindsey started to get up and then sat down again. He took out a business card and a pen. "Pardon my crummy writing, Wes, but it's hard to learn to write lefthanded. I'm giving you my cell phone number and my home number. They're just for you, so please don't give them to Angel." Wes nodded. "If you need anything that I can do for you without risking my own life, call me. I'll do what I can for you, or for Cordelia. I owe both of you that much. I'm truly sorry about what the firm put you both through."

Wesley took the card. "I'm glad we met. I think I understand you a little better. If you ever need me, I'd do what I could provided it didn't undermine Angel."

"I come here for dinner every Thursday about this time, and I usually stop at the bookstore first. Sometimes I come here other evenings as well. If you happen to be here, perhaps we can chat again. Goodbye, Wes." Lindsey held out his left hand. Wes shook it with his left hand.

"Goodnight, Lindsey." The two men parted at the door and went their separate ways.