"Killing is too good for you. You don't get to die. You get to live - forever."

As his eyes slowly lifted up from the floor to the doors of the Hyperion, Angel remained silent. He stood there, not moving, not blinking - only moving his eyes upwards. As if frozen in time, he stood and stared. His eyes weren't staring at anything in particular, not studying anything, simply staring. He let his eyes drift past the steps to the main entrance, past the doors, not focusing on anything - just staring…staring…at nothing…

Nothing. He truly grasped that now. Darkness. Complete isolation. Fear. Anger. Torment. Worry. Underneath the surface, his underwater prison, that's where those feelings were ignited. That's where he should be, his true calling. To suffer at the bottom of the ocean, embraced by darkness. Allowing the darkness to give life to all of his tormented emotions. To cut him open, and let him bleed, let him scream.

Sent down into the depths of the darkness, an act to put him in his destined place. A pivotal player in the big battle? A key figure in the coming apocalypses? A champion in the constant struggle for good over evil? No! None of it! It didn't mean anything! He knew where he was supposed to be. Back there, confined and trapped. Left to his most tormenting emotions, to be condemned to an endless gaze into eternal darkness. That's where he was supposed to be! That's his place, he knew it…he felt it, every second, that reminder. That constant burning reminder that he's not supposed to be here, that he's supposed to suffer. Destined to suffer, to bleed, and to cry.

…No more living in this dream. Too many years spent in the closure of his delusion, escaping reality. This fantasy world where he "means" something, where he has a life, he has love, he has desires. It all means nothing! Those desires, that love, the affection, friendship, the constant determination to fight the good fight. …It's all tied in to a world where your not supposed to be…He knew it all meant nothing, that he was meaningless. That this life he's been creating has been all for nothing. Because it doesn't mean anything, not one thing, not of it! It took a brutal reminder, to be sent hurtling down to the bottom of the ocean by the son he loved, to make him see -and he did see, he does see. He sees it, he feels it, and he knows it. He wants to go back, to where he belongs, to the dimness, to the torment. …Underneath the surface…underneath the surface…

Prophecies detailing a destiny for him, countless saved, love felt, love received… it was all meaningless! The friends he had made, the people he had saved. All of it was just a struggle against facing what he was truly destined for. He was trying to fight fate and he knew it. Trying to build a life and a mission in a world where he didn't belong. Trying to fight against his rightful place, the place where he can suffer as thousands once did under his hand.

He had to return, he had to stop fighting it. No more days in this world, no more living with the optimism brought fourth with hopeless prophecies, care, and desires. No more desire to fight for good. No more, no more…back to the darkness…it called to him…it needed him…the torment was what he deserved…it was his true destiny…

Suddenly footsteps echo out into the Hyperion as the doors open, a figure stepping out, walking out to the top of the steps.
Angel stared at this figure, his familiar presence interrupting his deep thoughts. …Lindsey McDonald…

With Angel staring towards him with constantly emotionless and chillingly cold eyes, Lindsey spoke, "…Hey…"

Angel let his eyes study Lindsey, dressed in jeans and a black sweater, his hair shorter than he remembered it, a folder in his right hand, his blue eyes staring right into him. Angel questioned responding to him, questioned even acknowledging his presence for any longer. Considered returning to his deep thoughts, pushing himself back to his destiny. Just ignoring him, just forgetting it all. Back to his prison, his confinement, his torment…back…back…

"You're probably wondering… -" Lindsey began before Angel quickly cut him off, deciding to deal with him quickly before returning to his thoughts.

"…- Why you're here?"

Lindsey nodded, looking down for a moment, as if searching for what to say next before raising his head once again. "…To warn you"

Angel let a slight smirk form on his lips before speaking, in a tone that clearly showed how much he didn't care what Lindsey had to say, "Weren't you going to leave L.A. …For good?"

Lindsey nodded, "Things happen…had to come back"

Angel nodded, the smirk still on his face, finding Lindsey's friendly presence amusing, "…To warn me?"

Lindsey nodded, stepping down one step, "It's something you should know, so just listen to me carefully. I don't think we have much time at all"

Angel responded, shaking his head, "I don't know what kind of game your playing but today is definitely not the day to try it Lindsey. Get out"

Lindsey, shaking his head in frustration, spoke, shouting slightly, "This isn't a game! This is urgent. It's enough to get myself over here to warn you. Maybe you could show a little respect, I'm about to help you. We don't have time for this crap"

"No, we don't. That's why you're going to leave. Now" Angel spoke, slight annoyance shown in his voice.

"I could," Lindsey spoke, his voice calmer now, smiling, "I could totally walk out of this place not letting you know anything"

Angel nodded, "Glad to know your aware of your capabilities, now - get out. I won't ask you again"

Lindsey let out an annoyed sigh before responding, "You know what? You never change. Ever. You're always the same bastard day after day. Oh wait - my mistake - you do change! There's Content Angel, Depressed Angel, I just don't give a crap Angel, I just got action from another blonde Angel. All part of the ever changing cycle that places you in one of your enjoyable little moods"

Clearly starting to lose his patience for Lindsey, a response from Angel is received quickly, "Here's a new one. Going to kick Lindsey the hell out of my hotel in about five seconds. I think that'll be my new favorite. Get out"

"Ooh, scary words. You know, you are pretty unique, not only are you the vampire with a soul but you're also the only vampire with PMS. Aren't you…. special"

Without hesitation, Angel began to advance on Lindsey, ready to physically move him out of his hotel himself. He didn't have time for this, too much on his mind. That need to return to the darkness, that constant reminder that he didn't belong in this world. He needed to escape, to run, and to embrace his true destiny.
Quickly sliding a cross out of his pocket and waving it in Angel's face before he could get close enough to touch him, Lindsey let a broad smile fall across his face.

"Then again, some things never change" Lindsey said, holding the cross tightly.

Backing away a good distance from the cross, Angel remained silent.

Slowly putting the cross down, Lindsey continued to speak after a brief hesitation, "You need to listen to me…you've been wondering things, you've got questions, I've got answers. You don't listen to me now, you'll regret it. I know you can't exactly trust me but in case you forgot, I'm not riding on the back of Wolfram & Hart's power and influence anymore."

Nodding, Angel let a smirk form on his lips again, "Gee, your just a good little helper now aren't you?"

Without wasting anymore time, Lindsey quickly spoke, "Wolfram & Hart brought you back from the bottom of the ocean. They are the reason you ended up in your safe warm bed, not knowing how you got back, or why"

Not saying anything, Angel let the words sink in for a moment. It didn't make any sense so he didn't analyze them for too long. He wanted to dismiss everything Lindsey said, he wanted him gone. He wasn't interested in anything he had to say. He wasn't interested in anything at all. He wanted to cut the chains that bound him to this life, this life of love, desire, and a mission. To return to the darkness…under the surface…to his true destiny…

"Only, they didn't just bring you back to your bed all safe and snug right away. Yeah, as you might have guessed, there was a catch. They still got that itch they needed to scratch. They want to make you evil. In your comatose state, they performed tests on you, experiments. They pumped you with chemical after chemical …"

It didn't make any sense. It was useless information. More talk from this life, this world. Angel knew he didn't belong there. Just block it out, block everything out, let go of the desire, the love, and the life it self. Let it all go, you remember how the weeks were under the surface, how you were reminded of your place. You know you belong there. You know you have to suffer Angel. You know you are to be with the darkness, not here.

"They've been working on producing chemicals, which, once put in you influence you dangerously. Tampers with everything that makes you what you are…destroys who you are. Very advanced but I don't know the exact specifics on it. However, you were lucky, they realized you were going to come to soon, too soon to do anything about it and they had to let you go. They didn't have enough time to complete the procedure, to put all the chemicals in you. There's still more left, the last piece of their puzzle. The instant they got it in you, you're evil"

Angel nodded, speaking, "Oh thanks Lindsey! You mean to tell me Wolfram & Hart is hatching up another plan to screw me over? Wow! Thanks for the heads up, I would have never seen that one coming!"

Lindsey shook his head in disbelief, "Did you hear anything I just said. They manage to put the remaining chemicals in you, you're evil!"

"You know this…how?" Angel asked, slightly curious.

"When I left Wolfram & Hart I made sure I still had enough information to keep an eye on them. To monitor their activities without them knowing. For months now its been working. I learned about this, realized what could happen and rushed over here to warn you"

Angel stood staring for a moment before laughing. "Now your something! You really are! You rushed over here to warn me. So what happened to you that suddenly makes you give a crap?"

"Working for Wolfram & Hart had a powerful influence over me, it led me down the wrong path…they screwed with me too"

"Oh yeah. They really did screw with you. Car, money, power - man, did they ever mess you up" Angel replied, his tone full of sarcasm.

"I know I can't blame the things I did completely on them. Not entirely. I just can't help but think about it sometimes, what I've done. Don't get me wrong; I'm not entering one of your phases, not out here trying to rid myself of endless guilt or whatever. I'm just saying, I did some wrong things; I'm not doing them anymore. I have a opportunity to do something good now, so I'm doing it"

Clapping briefly, Angel nodded, "Oh congratulations. You must feel good coming all the way over here with your exclusive information. Sorry to tell you but I don't care. Go, now"

Lindsey looked down for a moment, holding back his anger, and then lifting his head up again "You son of a bitch let it go. Wake up and open your eyes! You turn evil, people die, things happen. Bad things. You want that to happen? You want to let yourself kill your friends? That Cordelia girl?"

At the mention of her name Angel was back in deep thought. When he came back from his underwater prison, Gunn & Fred told him she was gone. No sign of her for the entire summer. They left too, on vacation, believing that he needed some time to be alone, assuring him that she would return sometime. That she's somewhere out there. Angel wanted to do everything he could to find her, to bring her back but he couldn't. That brutal reminder at the back of his head wouldn't let him. The constant memory of being thrown into the ocean and the weeks in confinement afterwards. The reminder that he didn't belong in this world, that the love he felt, the people that touched his life weren't supposed to go near him. He was supposed to be alone, to be in the darkness. He belonged there; he didn't have any destiny but to return to it. No more fantasy world…no more…let it go…let it go…Cordelia…let it go…

"Just don't let it happen Angel. Don't get me wrong, a part of me wants to walk away and just not give a crap but that's one more point for Wolfram & Hart. No, this isn't about revenge, I could care less. I saw the chance to help you out, I took it. Stupid? Maybe…but I'm here now so the best you could do is hear me out and stop them before they get their way"

Pushing Lindsey aside Angel began walking up the stairs, ignoring him. Couldn't let it sink in, had to return to the darkness. To his destiny, had to be free of this world. Had to be, had to be . . .

"Angel, your going to be evil, the way Wolfram & Hart sees it, that's probably the first step towards sucking this world into Hell" Lindsey spoke, looking up to Angel as he walked up the stairs.

Stopping suddenly Angel found himself half way up the stairs. Looking to the side, he thought again. One last situation, one more final mission. After this, you can be free. You can return to the darkness. Rid yourself of this, this final chain that holds you down to this world. Cut it loose Angel. Then you can return to the darkness, to your destiny. To the suffering you desire, the suffering you know you deserve…under the surface…just let go of this one last situation. Finish it off, do what you have to, then run Angel. Let your memories go, your feelings, let them all scream. Be embraced and become who you are supposed to be …no one, a meaningless figure under the surface. Forever suffering. Forever in torment. What you deserve, what you are destined for, your rightful place.
Slowly turning to face Lindsey, Angel nodded. "I'm going to stop them. I'm not going to let them turn me evil. I'll stop them"

Almost letting a relieved smile form on his lips, Lindsey nodded, "Good"

"I need all the information you can get me concerning these chemicals and Wolfram & Hart's plans. With a man on the inside, this should be quick" Angel spoke, referring to Lindsey, then began to walk back up the stairs..

"That's right, you do have a man on the inside, but it's not going to make things any easier…"

Pulling out a picture out of his folder Lindsey flipped it over to face Angel.

Wesley. In a suit, with Lilah, in her office, her hand over his.

As Angel studied the picture Lindsey waited for a response. A reaction even…but still those cold emotionless eyes.

After a long moment of silence, Lindsey finally asked, "What are you going to do?"

With that, Angel turned and disappeared into the hallways upstairs, not saying a word.