one day at lunch my friend joe asked everyone: "if you were alone in a foreign jungle, and you encountered some creature, what would this creature be that would cause you the most fear?"
i immediately knew what my answer was, and after sharing it with my friends, the discussion has been on my mind for a while now

before we get to what this "big fear" is, i want to establish the basis of how this jungle works. these specifics were not discussed at lunch, but i have thought about it on my own and making a concrete set of rules to ground the setting makes the scenario a lot easier to think about and understand.

in this jungle, people will encounter their biggest fear. i'd like to imagine this as a vast jungle in a foreign land, with low visibility, trees and foliage at every corner, with little to no threatening wildlife. in the very center, is a small circle of flat land, clear of any fog and obstructions.

let's use this crude drawing to visualize the encounter

the green is all the foliage, trees and rest of the jungle. the brown in the picture is the circle of dirt located at the center of the jungle. this is where the encounter with the "big fear" occurs. when one enters this brown circle of dirt, their biggest fear will spawn into the world through the opposite end

nothing in or beyond the green is visible from inside the brown circle of dirt.

when you're in the circle, you will be interacting with your biggest fear, whether that's a giant snake, gigas millipede, manhunting bird, or high school principal.

aside from this circle of brown dirt, the jungle is nothing special, and after the encounter, we can assume that it is possible to exit the jungle, and return to regular life (if you survive)

so, now let's say im in the jungle. after wandering aimlessly for a while, i finally enter into this circle of dirt through the foliage my biggest fear enters from the opposite side

cue the wild pokemon music

...

the scariest possible encounter for me, would be an exact identical clone of myself.
identical, as in the exact same experiences, memories, thoughts, and aspiritions in life.

this isn't like the movies Us or Enemy, where the clones are separate entities, what i encounter, is an exact copy. it's not at all as if i've run into my identical twin. we know that in real life, identical twins will grow to be different people not through genetics, but through their environment and experiences. however, this clone of mine has had the exact same experiences as i have, including wandering into this jungle and entering into this circle of brown dirt

another example, both the clone and i will have a memory of thinking of this exact scenario on the 5th of july when joe brought it up, and we'll both have a memory of making this webpage based off of it the very next day.

ok ok, that's all thought provoking and freaky, but what makes this so terrifying?

well, i've thought about a situation where i run into my doppelganger before, and i've concluded that i would not be able to live with an exact identical clone. and in so having these thoughts before, so has my clone.

it's not like we can just become friends, leave the jungle together, and go our separate ways.

both the clone and i thinks that every posession i own, every dollar i've earned, every relationship i've built belongs to them
even if we did find a way to split our possessions and money, what about family and friends? what about my job, or my university degree? i know we can't just split everything, and the clone knows this as well

further, not only does the clone know where i live and what i do day to day, but he thinks that this life belongs to him. another problem would be that both the clone and i know the passwords to my email, bank accounts, social media, etc.
there are infinite amounts of problems that arise when 2 entities believe that they are the same one

if we want to coexist, one of us will have to change their identity and start from scratch, knowing the other is living as they previously did, and neither of us wants to abandon the current life and idenitity. basically, there is no way that 2 copies of jeffrey can coexist without making life unmanageable for the other

we're alone in an imaginary jungle, there is no one around, and the world has never known that there are 2 of me. there is one quick and dirty solution to prevent these theorized complications, and my clone is aware of this solution as well

the encounter with my biggest fear is a fight to the death. this is literally the most evenly matched fight in human history. we have literally the exact same physicality, same tactical mindset, and same will to survive. no items, jeff only, final destination.

now let's say i win this fight, i come out alive, having just killed my clone... or myself??
aside from the mental straining of killing and this supernatural experience as a whole, i will forever live the rest of my life with a lingering thought:

what if i'm the clone? what if i'm not the original jeffrey?

i would never be able to know if i was the one who entered the jungle initially, or the one that was magically spawned as soon as the real me entered the circle. i would live my entire life thinking of whether the real me is dead or not.
i wouldn't be able to talk to anyone about it, because no one would believe the situation, and no one would think to go looking for the dead corpse of living man in an imaginary jungle

hell is not other people. hell is the same people

i want david fincher to direct this movie.

let me know what your biggest fear would be. click here to go back to the castle homepage