The Simpsons

Okay... i was gonna try and put simpsons stuff on the TV page, but too many quotes...
so instead of cutting back i'm gonna have too many.

Here are the quotes that have changed my life or just make me laugh my ass off
(sorry if they're wrong, tell me and i'll fix them; email ):

“You sunk my Scrabbleship.”
   - Homer

“All plays suck all the time and everyone knows it.”
   - Bart

“Freedom! Horrible, Freedom!”
   - Ants

“We pass the slavings on to you.”
   - Krusty

“You help me and I in turn am helped by you.”
   - Homer to Ned

“Why me Lord?  Where have I gone wrong?  I’ve always been nice to people... I don’t drink, dance or swear... I’ve even kept kosher to be on the safe side.  I’ve done everything the Bible says, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff.  What more could I do?  I... feel like I’m coming apart here... I want to yell out, but I just can’t... do it!”
   - Ned

“My ear hurts and my shoulder hurts. I have two owwies.”
    - Ralph

Warden: Well, don't feel too bad for him, folks.  He's in here for erecting a nativity scene on city property.
[audience boos loudly]
Marge: There's so much evil in the world.

"From now on walking is my beer and feeling good is my hangover."

 "I'll name her Princess, and I'll ride her every day!"
    - Lisa

 "Memo to self: Shut up Lisa."
- Bart

"I'd like to visit that Long Island someday. If only it were real."
    - Drunk Marge

"You've just won $10 million from that Publisher's Cleary Dealy."
    - Homer (in disguise?)

"Linguo dead?/Linguo is dead."
    - Homer/Linguo

"Sorry doesn't put thumbs on the hand Marge."
    - Homer

"I make as much as Malcolm in the Middle, and because I have no parents my earnings remain unstolen."
    - Renaldo (Brazil)

"Oh no if Marge marries Artie, I'll never be born"
    - Homer

"There's nothing in that helicopter for me./Don't be so sure."
    - Lenny/"Hah, Carl Carlson!"

"Our forecast calls for flurries of passion with extended periods of getting it on."
    - Homer

"Bert and Ernie left it to your imagination"
    - Marge in Brazil

"Even the fire doesn't want them."
    - Chief Wiggum referring to Butterfingers

"We melted for him, now he'll do likewise."
    - Chief Wiggum referring to the "promotional statuette of Johnny Depp from the movie Chocolat"

"I'd say he's coming out of the pep closet."
    - Homer

"I eated the purple berries./How are they Ralph...good?/They taste like burning."
    - Ralph/Bart

"We need more Bort license plates in the gift shop. I repeat we are sold out of Bort license plates."
    - Guy in control centre of Itchy and Scratchy land

"How about CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet"
    - Marge

"I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's"
    - Sherry or Terry

"He not my dead boyfriend. He's just a dead boy who happens to be my friend."
    - Lisa

"There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome./Hello mother dear."
    - Marge/Bart

"Paddlin' the school canoe. Oh you better believe that's a paddlin'."
    - Jasper

"Hey, my one o'clock cancelled. Have you had lunch?/Ya, but I usually have 3 or 4."
    - Trent Steel/Max Power

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."
    - Homer's yearbook message

"This is what all those hours of playing Tetris were for."
    - Homer (then Tetris Music)

"I used to think only God helped professional athletes and Grammy winners."
    - Homer

"I also abla Español" (sorry... i obviously don't abla...)
    - Random Lawyer

"Spongebob is not a contraceptive."
    - Bart on chalkboard

"Go Lisa./Yes I will depart, lest you bad grammar rub off on me."
    - Bart/Lisa Lesler

"And its been 3 days since I've had one. I'm getting the shakes... and the fries."
    - Homer

"Then they shot the guy who made them./I'd hate to be in that union."
    - Successmanship guy/Lenny

"When you leave your house you may be kissing your dolls for the last time."
    - Milhouse

"The only way to be cool than him is to do exactly what he does."
    - Bart

"Rigol IV" (I forgot the quote...hopefully i won't forget to fix it...)
    - Museum Recording

    - News headline

"With my brains and your... assistance."
    - Lisa

"3M and M&M have merged to form, get this, Ultradine Systems."
    - Kent Brockman

"That's what you liked to be called right?/Either that or Jon."
    - Homer/Jon (Queer)

"Things your toothbrush might say!"
    - Random lady on Pyramid playing with Santa's Little Helper

"Stand back its wanking time."
    - Principal Skinner

"We've squozen our whole supply."
    - Milhouse

"Spin the middle side topwise. Topwise!"
    - Bart

"Hey little red riding hood. I ate your granny and now I'm in the mood for love."
    - Homer

"You there, ya the greasy naked bald man./Huh, you know everything about my."
    - Successmanship guy/Homer

"I think we should rastify him by 10% or so."
    - Executive Lady

"Christmas Ape goes to Summer Camp."
    - Troy McClure

"The movie's turned into a play, still good though."
    - Homer referring to Mr. Smithers Sr. Movie

"Hello Chief. Let's talk, why not?"
    - Chinese Translator Guy

"Now this may hurt a lot. What am I saying may."
    - Lil Vicki Valentine

"You girls were great. Cats back for everyone./I had a dog./He's cat now!"
    - Oolash/College Girl

"Now when anyone gets wood they'll think of Trojans."
    - Ned (as king of troy)

"Is this about the minivan I rented?"
    - Homer (about Homer's Odyssey)

"Mom and Dad, just so you know, I'm being indited to Australia for fraud./That's no reason to block the TV."
    - Bart/Homer

"Hehehehe, look at this country You Are Gay, hehehehe."
    - Homer

"Mrs. Hoover the ground is shaking./Ralph remember the time when/ Aaaaaaaaaaaah!"
    - Ralph/Mrs. Hoover

"Have you heard of the phrase: 'Lets get busy'? Well this is the dog that gets bizay. Consistently and thoroughly."
    - Executive Lady

"No beer and no TV make Homer go something, something./Go crazy?/Don't mind if I do."
    - Homer/Marge

"Me so hungy."
    - Homer

"That's right hungry hungry Homer."
    - Baseball guy

"I never heard of embiggens before I moved to Springfield./Why, it's a very cromulent word."
    - Mrs. Crabapple/ Mrs. Hoover

"Take this item, but beware it carries a terrible curse!/That's bad./But it comes with a free Frogurt./That's good./The Frogurt is cursed./That's bad./But it comes with your choice of toppings./That's good./The toppings contain potassium benzoate. *pause* That's bad!"
    -Scary Toy Guy/Homer

"This won't hurt a bit... till I jam this down your throat."
    - Dr. Nick

"Homer my face is up here./I've made my choice."
    - Carmen Electra/Homer

"*Honk*  I'll get it!"
    - Marge as she wakes up and rolls out of the car.