Old TV Stuff
=>Hilarious Commercials
The Home Show
This is the worst commercial ever... The people sound
and look so stupid... The worst are:
-"I've been around the world and I've never seen a store like this." (Indian guy
with Britishy accent)
- When the announcer guy says there's a new one in Scarborough, they show this
guy who's like
"Scarborough ... (*nods head like an idiot*)... Alright." ...why...
it's so bad...
- And at the end another guy goes "Now this place has pizzazz" ... My sister was
like "i haven't heard that word in ten years!" Such a bad commercial...
Catch It!
Oh man! Does anyone remember an infomercial for this great kitty litter
removal product? It was called Catch It! Say it with me "caaaat_ch-it".
Catch It! Me and my sister were laughing so hard. And they kept saying it
so many times. It seemed kind of bad for daytime... and i guess it was cuz
we never saw the commercial again. But that's the best name for a kitty litter
product
ever!
=>Thoughts on TV
Commercials that are Just WRONG:
- Tampon/Pad Commercials
- Erectile Disfunction Commercials (especially Viagra)
- Loss of Bladder Control Commercials (Depends)
- Nausea etc Commercials (Pepto-Bismal)
- Cramps Commercials (Midol)
- Yeast Infection Commercials (damn Canestin...)
- Quiznos Freaky Things that can't sing
- Commercials Where Jessica Simpson talks
- Hair Removal Commercials (Nads is funny but still very wrong)
=>My high school had a survivor competition and we had to
write reason why we should be a part of it.
here's a list of reasons Heather wrote (you probably had to have watched the
first 3 survivors to get it...):
1. I'll eat anything.
2. I'm not a bitch or a truck driver like Jerry or Sue
3. I'm Ethan's little brother
4. My skin doesn't wrinkle in the sun like Mama Kim
5. I won't slam Brandon on his own question
6. I've devised a time conserving way of making survivor latrines in the school
7. I fear no boulders.
8. Unlike Tom, you'll be able to understand me when I talk
9. I won't wash myself with elephant shit like Mama Kim did
10. I won't ride Lex's, Ethan's and Tom's coattails like Mama Kim did.
11. I'm not Mama Kim.
12. I hate Mama Kim.
13. I can actually cook stuff, unlike chef Keith.
13. I'm not homophobic like Frank or Rudy.
=>Part of Our Heritage (Part 2):
Some say TV rots your brain, here is a list of brainwashing phrases and
stuff, that have become part of our heritage, and prove that saying... (if you
saw my list of kids shows, i obviously don't care about rotting my brain...):
- D'Oh
- You are the Weakest Link
- "Voted off the island" ("The tribe has spoken" for better
fans)
- Hello, Jerry!/Hello Newman!
- You got Punk'd
- Yoink! (I'll credit the simpsons with this)
- There was supposed to be a Kaboom. An earth shattering Kaboom!
- BeepBeep!
- What's Up Doc?
- Worst Episode Ever!
- Oh, my God! You killed Kenny!/You Bastard!
- Fresh Prince Theme Song
=>Part of Our Heritage:
Commercials affect people in a lot of ways, many bad.
Here are a bunch of commercials that have brainwashed us
and have really become part of our heritage:
- I smell burnt toast! Doctor, I smell burnt toast!
- How do you like your coffee?/I like it crisp.
- BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM! (Pop-tarts)
- Back off! Get your own sandwich!
- Wasaaaaaaaaaap! (Bud-weis-er)
- What'd ya mean Barq's has bite!/Johnny? (times 10)
- When you eat your Smarties do you eat the red ones last? (no smarties in the
US, eh.)
- How do they get the caramel inside a Caramilk bar?
- Swiffer song (swiff it! swiff it good!)
- Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.
- I've fallen and I can't get up.
- What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
- Mentos! The Freshmaker!
- Oops! (really high-pitched guy from cookie commercial)
- I feel like Chicken tonight! Like chicken tonight!
- My hotdog has a first name...
- I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Wiener.
- If I wanted water I'd ask for water.
- L'eggo my eggo!
- I can't believe its not butter!
- Gimme a Break! OOOh, gimme a break!
=> Does anybody remember these shows?
Sam and Max
Flinstones
Jetsons
The
Super Mario Brothers Super Show (with Legend of Zelda cartoon!! I used to watch
it eating Kraft Dinner with my best friend in Kindergarten)
Gargoyles
(about some old gargoyles put on a random building, from old scotland or
something...)
Baiyou (swamp puppets)
Littlest Hobo (I don’t think it was a kid’s show, but close enough)
Shining Time Station (Thomas the Tank Engine)
Theodore Tugboat
Masters of the Universe (He-man and Shera?... vaguely remember... also from Tanya,
green tiger was cool)
Dudley the Dragon (dudley was really annoying... but the other characters were
okay)
Book Mice (uh mice in a library)
Ghost Writer
Conan the Barbarian? Maybe that was it - there were weapons made of a special
metal that returns to the owner... that's all i remember...
Racoons (there were racoons and pigs all with weird voices and long noses that
were bent down)
Intrepids (I think it was dubbed to english, but there were these two siblings
that were detectives for no reason)
Smoggies (and the Sun Tot's - a neat and tidy crew, they'll stay young forever
and they want the same for you.
cuz everyone lives forever if they're short and retarded, even the obviously old
one)
Ace: Pet Detective (i think thats the name... but it was about a cartoonist dog-muppet,
who drew a cartoon
about an animated dog Ace who was a detective... no relation to Ace Ventura
though)
Today's Special (shout it loud and clear... really just the night manager on
crack)
Pocka-Dot Door (People who play with dolls and one disappears when Pockaroo is
around)
Pocka-Dot Shorts (crappy remake with stories about the stupid puppet dolls)
[The Mighty Morphing] Power Rangers (First ones were so cool, but the colours
were so racist...)
Virtual Rangers (obvious rip-off... are you sure you don't remember them?)
Mr. Dressup (i was jealous he could draw so damn good)
Care Bears (my sister says she doesn't remember them teaching good lessons until
later on...)
Super Mario Brothers show (watched it while eating kraft dinner with my best
friend in kindergarten!
and it had Zelda things at the end sometimes)
Inspector Gadget (the girl solved all the crimes with her super computer book
and who names a dog brain?)
Popular Mechanics for Kids "PMK" (well people watched in high school
too)
Random crappy kids show with a star-swipe whenever the scene changed
Under the Umbrella Tree (i think it had animal puppets...also random)
Show with teenagers who played instruments hooked up to one kids computer so
that they could go inside the computer, and turn into
transforming computer virus killing machines (really you don't remember?)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles [90's version] (turtles in a half shell. turtle
power!)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (late 90's version) (not animated? female ninja
turtle? what? crap, that's what)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (new version) (it really really sucks)
Transformers (robots in disguise)
Beast Wars (or Beasties in Canada... i think. Transformers remake. Not as
good, animals suck compared to
vehicles)
Voltron (big robot made of tiger-robots... fights big space evils)
Fraggle Rock (i don't remember it much, but my sister's loved it, good theme
song, sorry for spelling)
Duck Tales (woo-hoo!)
Darkwing Duck (i think he had a niece that was obviously really his daughter...
unless it was his niece... or they
showed her parents)
Goof-Troop (really just him and his son... wait when'd he get a son?)
Sesame Street (so many muppets... who can forget...)
You Can't Say That On Television (i don't remember too much, but my sisters like
it too, lots of slimings, and i
think Alanis Morrisette was on it)
Ghostbusters (speaking of Slimers...)
Mr.Roger's Neighborhood (don't remember much of him either, but he was popular,
even if he's kind of
creepy...)
Young Hercules (the blond guy from Breaker High, *shudder*, really bad
spin-off...)
Hercules [the animated series] (also bad spin-off, but from disney)
Breaker High (... i repeat: *shudder*)
Tail Spin (another bad spin-off... well not as bad it had Baboo! and other
random bears in the jungle flying
planes...)
Timon and Pumba (Disney's great with the bad spin-offs...)
Tales from the Cryptkeeper [animated cartoon series] (it was so bad and not the
scary good kind...)
Goosebumps (cuz you know the books were so good, the show was better)
Eerie Indiana (i liked it, and i think it was actually good, when they started
it up again with new kids it sucked
though)
Pokémon (ya i know... it's bad... and its not even that old... i don't care...
i played pokemon... it was a good
game)
Sharky and George (crimebusters of the sea! i think thats not the right words...
good show though)
Spongebob Squarepants (who lives in a pineapple under the sea? also not too
old... who cares though)
Ned's Newt (fun for kids and adults... sure... well... again who cares)
Fairly Odd Parents (sometimes funny... also not old... come-on though the guy
had a kill button on his
computer!)
Oswald (Asshole! well thats what it sounds like they call him... Fred Savage
shouldn't sing! and i should stop
watching kids
TV...)
The Untalkative Bunny (screw stop watching kids tv...its not that bad...)
Tiny Toon Adventures ("i flushed it down the hoooole", that was some
good stuff... say goodnight Babs,
goodnight Babs)
Looney Tunes (i only liked roadrunner... everything else sucked... bugs is so
gay and annoying)
Animaniacs (with Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe, Goodfeathers
stick together, Slappy
whacks them with
them with her purse, Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse, the writers
quit we have no script why
bother to rehearse! and the hippos and the nurse were good too!)
Pinky and the Brain (5 minutes of it is good, a whole half hour is bad...)
Pinky, Elmira and the Brain (or Pinky and the Brain and Elmira... i don't know.
half hour bad, elmira
worse...)
101 Dalmations (bad spinoff, what else?)
X-Men (90's version was good even if it didn't follow the comics...)
X-Men Evolution (spin-off the movies... and they're too young and look too
weird)
Spiderman (90's version was my favourite show for a while, spiderman's the best
and so many crossovers
all the time, but it was still the best)
Spiderman (60's version? if you remember you're old...really old and why was it
on crack?/acid?)
Spiderman 2000 (new animation weird, not too bad of a show, not as good as 90's
though... it was so good)
Batman (90's version was cool, i think it changed at some point and robin grew
up and stuff and the beginning
changed, first
one's beginning was cool though)
Batman (60's version? again if you remember it, you're old...)
Batman Beyond (again not bad, weird looking but decent i guess)
Superman (kind of like the same animation as when batman changed. now too bad,
good for crossovers with
Batman)
Megaman [90's version] (speaking of men... the megaman cartoon was cool of you
liked the game)
Megaman NT Warrior (its new and what the crap? based on stupid new megaman games
and not as good)
Sonic the Hedgehog (i think he had a show for a while, don't remember it being
good though)
Knights of the Zodiac (didn't watch it as a kid, but they're cool in a cheesy
80's way...)
Owl Magazine Show (who doesn't like learning things in their spare time...i
did...and there was a skeleton)
Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? [game show] (i like trivia and it was a
pretty good show, but i don't
like
geography...but the winner got to go anywhere! or
just in the US)
Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? [animated series] (they went around the
world and did stuff and a
talking head!)
Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego? [game show] (its sucked and who likes
history... sorry if you do but the
show was bad)
That show like the newlyweds game, but with kids like friends or sibling and
they were in racecars on a little cliff
and they clapped retardedly over their heads (well i remember...)
The Elephant Show with Sharon, Lois and Bram (one elephant went out to play,
upon a spiders web one day)
Harriette's Magical Hats? (i don't know if thats it, but the different hats
introduced kids to different jobs and
could teleport
the kids to the job with a magical bad special effect and funny sound)
The show where there was a boot and a shoe that taught you how to read and there
were other scary puppets
too...
Reading Rainbow (iiii can go anywhere, just take a look in a book... jordy was
good at reading to kids)
Old Animated Star Wars series (don't remember much, but oldest sister like it)
Téléfrançais (well we only saw it in french class, but man talking Ananas,
well lets just say "Oui! C'est possible!")
Fred Penner (with his word bird and crawling through a log and his little hiding
place he brings kids to....)
A show with people copying Kiss and the had bright coloured clothes and makeup,
(kind of sad, but kind of
funny too)
Peewee's Playhouse (uh i don't remember watching this much or ever, but
everything about it disturbs me)
The Friendly Giant (or the castle or something... it had a giraffe i think. my
sister's liked it, but i don't rememeber
much)
EEK the Cat (is it possible to have a cat more annoying than garfield? yes...
but the thunderlizards were funny)
Recess (kind of new... but good. those kids are cool and funny)
The Weekenders (new too...and these kids are too cool...i didn't go to a damn
pool hall when i was 8...)
Captain Planet (the power is yours! cuz you know we all have super
rings...)
Teddy Ruksbin (there was a bear and a caterpillar guy and an old guy and they
flew in a balloon... it wasn't a dream... oh and who did want a Teddy
Ruksbin talking/singing doll!)
Padington Bear (He had a yellow raincoat and he was a bear!...i don't remember
anything else)
Winnie the Pooh (such a stupid bear... egor was funny though, being depressed
all the time...)
Rescue Rangers (Ch Ch Ch Chip'n Dale. An actually good Disney spin-off)
BIONIC SIX (we fight together, we are a family...? tanya remembers it... i sure
don't...)