Atilla the Pun
You know i like a good pun. Or even a bad one... So here
are a bunch i got a while back. (some might not be puns, but i'd say they're
close enough...)
How do crazy people go through the forest?
-They take the psycho path
How do you get holy water?
-Boil the hell out of it
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
-"Dam!"
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
-Polaroids
What do prisoners use to call each other?
-Cell phones
What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
-National Dyslexics Association
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
-A stick
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
-Nacho Cheese
What do you call Santa's helpers?
-Subordinate Clauses
What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
-Quatro sinko
What do you get from a pampered cow?
-Spoiled milk
What do you get when yo ucross a snowman with a vampire?
-Frostbite
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would
kill you?
-A pool table
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
-A nervous wreck
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
-Anyone can roast beef
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
-Right where you left him
Where do you get virgin wool from?
-Ugly sheep
Why are there so many Smiths in the phonebook?
-They all have phones
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
-They're trying to get away from the noise
Why do Gorillas have big nostrils?
-Because they have big fingers
What is a zebra?
-26 sizes larger than a "A" bra
Did you hear about the flasher that was thinking about retiring?
-He decided to stick it out for one more year
What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
-A dog that runs for help... after he bites your leg off
What does it mean when the flag is at half staff at the post office?
-They're hiring
What kind of coffee was served on the Titantic?
-Sanka