No one ever suspects the butterfly. Still, it's best not to take a camera into the YMCA changeroom.

I like music because it sounds good.

Teenager can now cast Angst.

If you're having trouble reading, just put on your yellow construction paper glasses.

Drinking clam juice is not for everyone.

Boy, you guys sure drink a lot at work.

"I can remember faces but I can't remember names."
"I can remember names but I can't remember faces."
"Hey, maybe we should team up."

The Art Attack guy showing kids how to make shanks.

African-American obtained my two-wheeled human-propelled vehicle through illegitimate means!

Worst fortunes ever:

You know how 'J' is pronounced like 'H' in Spanish? Well, would you like some Hello for dessert?

The Duggler never retreats!

The Duggler always uses Goodyear tires!

I recharge my cell phone at two bars. The Duggler!

You know the Fonz knows a lot about databases.

"I only eat food that's the same colour as my clothes. The Duggler!"

I'm going to name my band "kthxbai"

"I always use Goodyear tires. The Duggler!"

*random air guitar chord*

"Narrating your own life is a good way to get stuck in an infinite loop," said Jon. Said Jon. Said Jon. Said Jon.

You know what? You're just a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

Pull the fire alarm and immediately go to sleep on your glowing pillow.

"Let's just park in the middle of those snow-covered cars."
"Now we'll know which one is ours."
"Let's write 'Wayne' on them."

"I hate those old buses. It sucks during the summer because they have no air conditioning.
"Do they have windows?"

WAYN (Where Are You Now?) "Hey Shum, WAYN?"

I am distracting you!

WAYNE...ch-choo-ch-choo-choo!

The worst "superhero" to get beaten up by is Inspector Gadget. Go Go Gadget nose hair!

Another emo quote: "How could this happen to...you?"

"Each union member shall receive three Inuit women - no more, no less."
"What if we don't want any?"
"Hey, are you part of the union or not?"

Blocs advance! Feer zee guns!

"It's ok. It was like this too at Sean Desman's funeral." -Massari

Slim Fady.

"Why do we have to study these imaginary periodic tables?"
"Just in case."

"Hello, Pizza Hut."
"Does B.J. Lee work there?"

Paper towel dispensers can easily double as sock dispensers, provided you don't mind if they're ripped.

Emo quote: "And the reason is...me".

Another emo quote: "I'm never ok."

This deserves...a "true 'dat".

Cross Billy Talent with Limp Bizkit and you get Billy Biscuit.

How do you get Shim? There isn't even an 'i'.

You must be reading the lacking skills.

percussion by: some dude in a room

Nice cards...Shum.

Hello, I would like to buy one pant. Two separate, matching pants.

I think you need the rights to his face.

Now go away while I be Emo.

That's our good couch. Over there is our stunt couch.

C'est ma fa�n, c'est ma fa�n ou l'autoroute.

Chapter 1: A Hero Is Born.

Mr. Goudas cocktail weenies for breakfast.

But professor, it's a Bents!

"Why?"
"Why not?"

How come cows get all the fun?

Google "how to be emo" for book results, and you get titles like "Nothing Feels Good."

Business is about making money. So let's say you make a pizza for 5 dollars. Please people, don't sell it for 4.

In an event of a blackout, the first thing to do is go buy cheese.

I want two monocles.

Fully recharged...on drunksticks!

The wasabi 'n caramel flavour will sell out. So will the Jon Lee style chicken wings.

Ohm's Brothers.

There are riding lawnmowers, so why not a riding vacuum cleaner?

Two L's make a rectangle.

China Man and Chin Patel

Hello, how may I help you?
Hi, I'd like to report a change of addr-
Fuck you!
What? Is this-
Fuck you!
But I just wanted-
Fuck you!
Wha-
*click*
Note: did NOT actually happen!

Wait, these aren't my shoes...

He folded faster than Superman on laundry day.

i still say you do the first song to HOTS
and what instrumentation should i use?
go wild man!
garbage cans
kazoos
grass
lmao
elastic bands!
grass
lol
how did - what can you - why - aaahhhh!!!
two blades of grass
alittle moisture
and huzzah!
lmao
family sized pack of whoop ass
only the most leet of the 1337 can pull it off
lol

We will build giant batteries someday. But for now, focus on the pickle matrix and hamburger earmuffs.

The hot-dog maker just screamed Huntley.

You got Tetris'd.

Me: I don't think that's your SIN. Where are you reading this?
Client: A card.
Me: What kind of card?
Client: Plastic.
(It turned out to be a health card.)

Client: I don't see why I have to give my SIN every time I call. Why can't you just remember it?

Hey
hi
asl?
31 m USA
ew you pedophile
i'm not
now listen michael jackson...
he was freed
but you won't be

The Swear Stopper: "Excuse me, sir. I can handle your problem. That's no problem. What I can't handle is your abusive language."

Is there such a thing as third-hand smoke?

I forgot to apply for CPP because I was busy watching cricket.

I live in Low Res.

I charge my cellphone when it's at two bars. The Duggler!

Unitech

SAILBIKE

Oh God, Britney Spears. Where's the TV/video button...? ...oh no, not volume!

I once wrote the solution to an algebra problem on the back of a Bear City coupon. Needless to say, I washed my hands after that.

When playing Crazy Eights, it's best not to poke the bear...or punch the cow.

Guys, we're going to counterfeit Canadian Tire money.

If someone's ever chasing you in a bulk food store, just toss some Pepsi balls in their way. Alternatively, throw some sprinkles in their eyes.

Entering a MMORPG and beating people with a rubber chicken is a surefire way to amuse yourself. Who knows, you might even pick up a posse!

Eric's Law(as stated by Calvin): The height of any object may be measured by holding a hand up to the object, such that the width of the fingers matches the height of the object, from the viewer's perspective. Multiple hands/fingers may be used, if need be. Scale - 1 finger:1 metre.

In certain areas of Ryerson, you should not bend down to pick up a textbook you have dropped. Walking with your back to the wall is also recommended.

Do you really think you could beat me at extreme hopscotch, punk?

"Professor, can you turn the lights on? My calculator isn't working."

"I don't think I've seen you before. Are you a refugee?"

"Implied, Lisa, or implode?"

If you're ever up in Markham at night and you're bored, go over to Markville mall. Take as many Wal-Mart shopping carts as you can, and surround a parked car with them. Hide and wait.

Peeeeeeeeeeeanutty peanuts!

It's not green.

"Why are there condoms at the tech fair? Are they programmable?"

"101 Dalmatians...man, there must be, like, 80 dogs in this!"

A question I hope never to see in math courses:"1+1=? Explain."

"OMG, dark alleys and parking lots, what convienent raping locations."

You see "Bob's No Frills" and such...why not "Phil Green's Durians"?

"Wow" *double waving of hands in wax-on wax-off motion*

Go up to someone and point at them, saying "AIDS!" really loud.

When you left elementary school, did you bury a potato chip bag in the sandpit in hopes of being remembered? I know someone who did.

"At some point, we're going to have so much machinery in us, we won't really be human anymore...we'll be something else..."
"You mean cyborgs?"
"Yeah...I mean, what if your dad was half human, half...clock?"

"Hey, is your fridge running?"
"um, no?"
"well I bet it runs like you...homosexually"

 How do you spell Canada..."Cananada?"

In old English textbooks, it's difficult to differentiate between helmet and hair.

If you ever decide to drop a course, stick around a bit first and mess with the teacher. Sign your tests "Jaffar" and put some terrorist symbols on it.

"We should put some impossible questions on this quiz. 'What is the second word on the fifth line of page 19...in Spanishes?'"

Other Unreal names:


Sometimes, when you write "fate," it ends up looking like "futo."

Bell-bottom-wearing supply teacher:"You no sit on table. Only TEACHER sit on table!" *crosses legs*

"If you see someone who is wielding a machete, what are you going to do?
*class is silent*
"Isn't that the right word...machete? A knife? *draws knife on board*
*class murmurs agreement*
"What are you going to do? AVOID HIM. If you are hit with the machete, it will cause shear in your bones! And what if you meet someone playing kung fu? Are you going to avoid him? Yes! He will cause bending moment in your arm. That's the difference between shear and bending moment."
~more or less...

"Although bubble sort uses an interesting technique and has a cute name, we do not recommend it."
"I think bubble sort was invented by someone enjoying a glass of beer."

"Is there such thing as a hyper hyperboloid?"
"Yes, when you stutter."

"deep lyrics, the best vocals and raps around, and rad-ass riffs. don't be a loser. it's about time you took a stroll in the Linkin Park." -a LP fan