BT Files

» The random sampling of the mind of Brian Tang, on a semi-regular basis. Now 100% cheese-free!

T-minus 14 hours...

In mere hours, I will be stepping into Microsoft Canada headquarters in Mississuaga, Ontario for my first official day of work. The excitment and giddiness I experienced in these past few weeks is turning into a growing concern about how I will perform in this new environment. The expectations are immense, and the fear of underperformance is resulting in undo anticipatory stress. My whole life I've been exposed to a new dimension of this physical world all too many times, but not since my first day of high school have I experienced tension similar to what I am going through now.

But it's OK, because this is just me trying to spread doubt about my self and effectively lowering my expectations so that if I don't do well, I can at least say "Well, I tried my best, and I think I did OK" (re: all my university examinations).

But it could be more than just me trying to brace myself for future failure. Maybe I really am in fear of this next step in my professional career. After all, it is Microsoft, a uber-corporation where one will be under the microscope of scrutiny at all times until you proven yourself worthy of that security badge and nametag on your cubicle.

But maybe this is just the fear of first impressions with co-workers, superiors, other employees, partners, suppliers, and all other work-related stakeholders I have. Or worse, it is the fear of all other interactions after setting a first impression, as I have already met a lot of my stakeholders during my pre-job training. In almost all of these introductions, I have had to endure listening to how great my predecessor has done in his 8 months on the job, as well as little opportunity to provide any insight or even comment due to the complexity of the conversation between him and the stakeholder involving acroynms, terms, figures, people, and events that I had no idea existed, not to mention understand.

But maybe... nothing, I must be overanalyzing again. Sigh... another reason why I didn't want to do a blog... but this is good stuff, at least for me. Anyway...

Oh, I got a haircut today. Went back to Ben's Salon at Peachtree Center, and Jacky did a pretty good job. Now to wash it. Also got a pair of temporary dress shoes until I find some time to get some really nice Italian leather ones. Bought my brother a pair too, since... well, I guess he could use some dress shoes too.

It's my cousin's birthday today. She'll be 13, and she is already a tall as my sister. My brother will turn 13 soon too, and he's as tall as my mom. What's with kids today, sheesh. Them parents must have been keeping those growth pills for them or something, because I sure ain't getting any taller...

Lastly, I added a different counter for the blog and its archives. Obviously, it's starting from zero, so let's just see how vain I am, as measured by the number of times I check the counter in a day. ;)

Today's Music: N&K vs. Denis the Menace - Cruisin' (Beachballin' Again)
And I just need to clear my mind, to find my role in space and time... I'm just cruisin', down this highway of life...