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your dark side
Your dark side
Guy 1:
Do you think its healthy or good for a person to get to know every aspect of themselves? By that I mean getting to know your good side and your dark side.
Personally I'm suffering the consequences of my exploration of my darker more hateful side. I really got into Marilyn Manson, Tool, Nine Inch Nails for a period of two years of my life. I think I just took their messages too seriously. Now I'm having a hard time socializing with people. Because I now view people in the way these bands portrayed people/society. I know there's good people out there but I seem to always manage to find the bad ones. But on the other hand it has kept me openminded and helped my thinking process some more. I question a lot of things in my life as a result of my exploration of my darker self.
Guy 2:
I definitely think it's healthy. It helps you become a better person by working on those aspects of yourself that you have grown to hate once they're discovered. If you go through life so ignorant as to think you are a perfect being, you will learn nothing. And, as has been stated so many times in this forum, a wonderful way to discover these sides in yourself is by looking at the people you dislike and asking why. When you discover what it is about them that you dislike, really look into yourself and apply the characteristic to your personal being. You'll find that you do, indeed, have the characteristic that you so much despise in the other person, although it may be deeply hidden in the trenches of your soul. Once you recognize it in yourself, you will be able to begin changing it if you wish to. But before you do that, you should learn to love it (in yourself and in the person you dislike). For example, one of my best friends really used to bug me whenever the subject of religion/spirituality came up. She was raised 7th Day Avenist (sp?), and I was raised to believe whatever I felt was right for me. I hated that she let her parents dictate so much of her beliefs when they were apparently so unfounded. (for example, in that religious group children are not allowed to read children's books or watch cartoons because it is considered a fantasy world, and they want their children to stay in "reality") So I hated that part of her, and I didn't understand it at all! OMG it just drove me crazy! When one day it dawned on me - I hate her contradictory belief system and her indecision regarding any aspect of spirituality (she believes in 7th Day Avenist stuff, and at the same time believes in chakras, Higher Powers, Buddhism, auras, etc...all of which completely contradict the 7th DA belief system). And I realized that I was not so sure about MY OWN spiritual beliefs...I don't KNOW what I believe, other than I know there are Higher Powers and I believe in and feel my chakras, I believe in Tarot, I believe that we are here for a pre-destined set of life circumstances from which we are to learn certain things, etc. But I've always sensed a certain amount of confusion about this, because I believe certain aspects of almost every religion (excluding Catholocism). At the same time, I don't believe any of them. So who am I to listen to? And I realized that that was in fact my reason for hating that aspect of her - it was a mirror for me to see what I was going through myself. So since this discovery (and a lot of accidental guidance from our friend BC), I've worked on this aspect of myself a great deal and have begun to see my Truth and accept it instead of looking for it in others. It never really made sense to me because there was no ONE religion that supported all (or even most) of my ideas. But I'm beginning to accept that I am to be my OWN leader and form my OWN set of beliefs. That is why I so despise any organized religion...they dictate truths to you that may not be your own.
Anyway, my point is that it is very healthy to get to know all aspects of yourself, and sometimes you must do this by looking in the mirrors provided by the people surrounding you.
Guy 1:
My whole manson/NIN/tool period is pretty much over. I on ocassion listen to 2 NIN songs I find positive, "We're in this together" and "The Fragile" Anyways its been almost 4 months since I finally ended my whole exploration of my "dark side." I broke/destroyed my manson cd's and sold my tool cds. The whole thing had consumed me for some reason. I created this persona of what people expected me to be even though I knew deep inside it wasn't me. I've been really confused spiritually since middle school. I didn't grow up in a really religous family so I kind of had to figure stuff out for myself. I dont' blame my parents for what I've gone through, I blame myself for making the wrong choices. I've tried so many different spirtial paths and I was never really happy with any of them. I met a person Freshman year in college that said something that I ended up finding to be true for myself as well. They said something along the lines that they've always been happy without knowing god. I'm starting to realize/understand that before all of this started I was happy with myself. The thing is I'm very easily influenced, not sure why. Anyways I ramble on. My whole "indentity" was shattered by one swift motion one night back in September. Some random person somehow saw completely through me and knew that I wasn't happy with the way things were. It hit me really hard. As luck (fate?) would have it I met someone that night that I eventually became good friends with. This person really helped me pull myself out of the hole I had dug myself into. Without this person I'm not sure where I'd be right now.
Oh well, I've started to get back into the Pumpkins again. I've started to listen to New Wave 80's type stuff and Dave Matthews Band (I absolutely hated DMD last year). I found when I let go of the persona and hate I had in myself I was happy once again. I now try to listen/read/watch postive things.
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