The following are based on interviews conducted by students of the course LIN 458 Language Revitalization, held at the University of Toronto in Fall 2008. As part of their course work, students met with parents who speak languages other than English or French and asked them about the language choices they made in raising their children. Excerpts of these interviews are provided here. We have also provided a general description of each family's language situation as context.
The students have added comments of their own, based on their readings and class discussion.
We wish to thank all the parents who participated in this work. We think today's parents facing these decisions will find them interesting.
Prof. Alana Johns
Department of Linguistics
University of Toronto
It's OK to make mistakes
"When my children make mistakes, it's true that I laugh, but they laugh too. Don't let the fact that they sound funny scare them. Use it as an encouragement to try even harder to speak (your native language)."
Testing out English on Mom
“Once after my son started pre-school he came home and tried speaking English to me. I told him it was fine for him to speak English at school but at home we speak Spanish. And he understood that.”
Difficult to accept
Me: Even when they’re talking to each other?
Father: When you see them talking to each other…
Mother: English.
Father: It’s half Korean half English.
Mother: Nah, English is like 60%; when they’re by themselves, more English.
...
Language = Identity
(On speaking Latvian) "It’s extremely important because it’s important to keep the culture, keep the language the culture everything because we are not of North American descent or English we’re from Europe and we’re from refugee parents and it’s very very important we keep the language and the culture going."
Hindsight is 20/20
“Well, at first we wanted (our daughter) to speak Ukrainian and then we thought she would learn English as she went along. But it didn’t happen that way. And (she) only spoke English. She understands Ukrainian. … (If I could do it again,) I would only speak Ukrainian in the first two or three years and then English comes naturally to them because when they go out to play with their friends, their friends speak English.”
More Languages = Greater Advantages
(When asked why it was important for her that her son learn Italian) “First of all, because I’m Italian and something to share, and I would be proud for him to learn to be able to know more about Italia and…our culture; …How you say, to accomplish more in his life.”
On speaking Russian...
'Knowing more than one language, especially in a multicultural country such as Canada, is very important, for one thing it can give you a better job – people who speak more than one language are very valuable. But it also develops memory, it gives a broader education.'
We didn't realize it was happening
“I guess that’s just what happened… At first we wanted them to be [bilingual], but then English came so natural that we stuck to English.”
Self-fulfilling prophecy
"Eventually my husband had to make a switch to English [from speaking to the children in Spanish only] because my children didn't quite acquire Spanish. Maybe it's hard for children to learn their father's language. I've met some children at the Saturday school whose fathers are Japanese, but it seems like they drop out more often than the children whose mothers are Japanese."
Language and your environment
“And I did want to teach them and I was trying but unless the desire is there on their part then the energy of one person to communicate in that language and not having the environment that receives it is too difficult. So it is the energy of that person that is communicating in that language that if it is not being received. If there is no receptor to it, then that communication is lost.”
Resistance against English
“One day when we were in a Russian store, I’ve heard parents speaking Russian to their son who was about eight years old, and the boy would answer them in English all the time. We do not want that to happen in our family…We want our child to know Russian, not just understand it, but be able to speak it.”
On speaking Portuguese
“There was no discussion about which languages we would speak when we had our first child. We thought because we spoke Portuguese at home [between the parents], how could she not speak it? We were mistaken.”
On integration into society
“I work in customer service, and many people insult me for my accent and for the country I came from. (...) I would definitely prefer my children to be integrated in the society than be insulted in some kind of way because of their language or accent. “
More information for parents...
For more information on raising bilingual children, you can visit the website of Prof. Fred Genesee, and, in particular, "A Short Guide to Raising Children Bilingually".
Quote: "When my children make mistakes, it's true that I laugh, but they laugh too. Don't let the fact that they sound funny scare them. Use it as an encouragement to try even harder to speak (your native language)."
Description: The interview was with a 50 year old woman who has four kids, the eldest being 26 years of age and the youngest being 16. Her first two children were born in the Philippines and the last two were born in Canada. She has resided in Toronto, Ontario for 20 years and is fluent in two languages.
Comment: Learning a second language is not difficult especially at a younger age. Yet, some children find that speaking their native language is an embarrassing or uncomfortable experience. Issues of peer pressure as well as the inability to express oneself properly in one language may be some of the reasons why children do not want anything to do with their native tongue. However, just as the respondent said, this fear can be overridden through humor and a positive attitude. As parents, try to make it so that your children acknowledge their mistakes and remember them. Most importantly, when you correct them, do it gently. No child enjoys being scolded, and it may deter your child from wanting to learn. Make learning a language a fun experience and continually encourage them that there is no reason to be scared of speaking the language – it’s okay to make mistakes!
Quote: “Once after my son started pre-school he came home and tried speaking English to me. I told him it was fine for him to speak English at school but at home we speak Spanish. And he understood that.”
Description: This speaker, the boy’s mother, was born in Sicily, Italy, and immigrated to Toronto, Canada at age nine. Her husband is Mexican and came to Canada in his twenties. They speak Spanish together and with their son, who was born in Canada and is now 11 years old. Their son also speaks Italian and Sicilian with his grandparents, as well as English and French at school.
Comment: This mother chose to raise a multilingual child, but the process has not been without its difficulties. It is typical for young children to challenge their parents’ limits and expectations, and the choice of which language to use in the home is no exception. When her son tried out his English at home after starting pre-school, this mother was prepared for the test. She had already made a conscious decision to speak Spanish with her son, and gently but firmly reminded him of the boundaries. This approach proved successful, and she went on to expose her son to five languages by the age of six. Her son is living proof that multilingualism in the home and in schools does not limit children, but rather allows them to thrive.
Quote:
Me: Then what do they (your daughters) speak to each other?
Father: Basically they all speak in Korean.
Me: Even when they’re talking to each other?
Father: When you see them talking to each other…
Mother: English.
Father: It’s half Korean half English.
Mother: Nah, English is like 60%; when they’re by themselves, more English.
Father: English 60% Korean 40%
Description: Korean parents, both in their late 30s, in Canada for 8 years. First daughter (able to speak both Korean and English) finished kindergarten in Korea, and the second daughter (fluent in English, but clumsy in Korean) was born in Toronto.
Comment: The interviewees, especially the father, were hesitant in believing that their daughters had already started conversing in English, even at home. Parents often overlook that the language used outside home often has a greater influence to kids that are going to school. The next thing they know, their kids are bringing it home to them.
Quote: On speaking Latvian: "It’s extremely important because it’s important to keep the culture, keep the language the culture everything because we are not of North American descent or English we’re from Europe and we’re from refugee parents and it’s very very important we keep the language and the culture going."
Description: Interviewee (in her 50s) is a Canadian-born mother of two teenagers. She is the child of immigrant parents from Latvia and grew up speaking Latvian in her home. Her husband (in his 50s) was also born to Latvian parents.
Comment: Interviewee and her husband never gave teaching Latvian to their kids a second thought. They spoke it in their home, at church and in their community, so they sent their children to Saturday School and enrolled them in Latvian cultural programs. They benefitted greatly from a strong sense of community and the resources that Latvian institutions in Toronto offered.
Quote: “Well, at first we wanted (our daughter) to speak Ukrainian and then we thought she would learn English as she went along. But it didn’t happen that way. And (she) only spoke English. She understands Ukrainian. … (If I could do it again,) I would only speak Ukrainian in the first two or three years and then English comes naturally to them because when they go out to play with their friends, their friends speak English.”
Description:
Language: Ukrainian
Parent relation: mother
Newness to Canada: emigrated to Canada at age three (in Canada 79 years)
Age of parent: 82
Age of children: 63, 54, 50
Children now speak: English
Comment: It’s been proven that using your first language in the home is critical to a child becoming fluent in that language. Passive learning like watching TV or listening to others speak will not lead to complete proficiency. Children need to be encouraged to actively use the language or they may end up like our Ukrainian mother’s daughter and be able to understand the language but not speak it. When another language is dominant in surrounding society, many parents worry that their child will be disadvantaged by learning a different language at home. In fact, it has been proven that children will acquire full competency in the societal language through prolonged exposure outside the home. This exposure could be through playing with friends like our Ukrainian mother’s daughter did, or through attending pre-school, for example. Being fluent in more than one language is a great gift to give to a child. Not only can it strengthen ties with a family’s heritage and cultural identity, but it can lead to other advantages later in life. One recognized Canadian linguist, Fred Genesee, offers this advice: “Parents should not be discouraged if children do not use both languages early in development. Some children, even monolingual children, take longer to get started and are not as vocal as other children. It does not mean that switching to only one language is advisable. Patience and effort will pay off when children grow up and have the benefits of being bilingual.”
Quote: When asked why it was important for her that her son learn Italian, she responded, “First of all, because I’m Italian and something to share, and I would be proud for him to learn to be able to know more about Italia and…our culture; …How you say, to accomplish more in his life.”
Description: This quote was taken from an interview with an Italian mother (who also speaks Spanish) in her 50’s, who immigrated to Canada in her 30’s, and who has a son in her 20’s. Her son used to speak Italian. At this time, he has limited communicative ability, but can understand and respond to Italian.
Comment: Knowledge of another language can open up doors in the global marketplace – with increased international contact comes increased need for global communication. Knowledge of a second (or more!) language creates many more opportunities for your child. Also, it has been stated that language is connected with different ways of thinking – giving your child broader cognitive abilities. Instead of handicapping a child, knowledge of a second language opens up greater doors for opportunity.
Quote: Knowing more than one language, especially in a multicultural country such as Canada, is very important, for one thing it can give you a better job – people who speak more than one language are very valuable. But it also develops memory, it gives a broader education In general – you could communicate with people from different countries, you could read books in different languages – you have access to much more information. If a child learns a second language at home, it is a pain free acquisition of rudimentary translational capacities- the child gets the practice of translating. For example, when I don’t know how to say something in English, I ask my daughters – they teach me how to, they could also correct my pronunciation – and I think for them it is a good practice.
Description:
Language: Russian
Parent relation: mother
Newness to Canada: Immigrated 6 years ago
Age group of parents: 40s
Age of children: 6
Children speak Russian: Yes
Comment: When it comes to decision making in terms of languages, the interviewee is aware of the benefits that await her children in case when they will learn more than one language and she has the power to give them this possibility, and she does not want to miss it. Great attitude!
Quote: “I guess that’s just what happened… At first we wanted them to be [bilingual], but then English came so natural that we stuck to English.”
Description:
Language: Italian
Parent relation: Father
Newness to Canada: first generation, came to Canada at puberty, arrived 1968 (age 13)
Age of parent: 53
Age of children: 20, 23
Children now speak: English, French, a few Italian words
Comment: The parents would alternate between Italian and English, however, because both their educations were in English they often spoke more English in the home than Italian. Italian became a language of food, household objects, and passion (such as when they were angry). Ultimately, the young girls were exposed to a primarily English home and world—school, media, and peers all reinforced English as the dominant language. The result was a passive understanding of Italian with limited vocabulary. Passive speaking of a minority language in quantities less than the dominant language by the parents is often not enough to impart the minority language on the children; this was the case with this family.
Quote: "Eventually my husband had to make a switch to English [from speaking to the children in Spanish only] because my children didn't quite acquire Spanish. Maybe it's hard for children to learn their father's language. I've met some children at the Saturday school whose fathers are Japanese, but it seems like they drop out more often than the children whose mothers are Japanese "
Description: Late 40's, female, Japanese-speaker—my interviewee came to Canada after graduating high school in Japan. She does not have immediate family members in Canada, and so does her husband who is an Uruguayan male of age 50, Spanish and Portuguese speaker. My interviewee did have a good attitude in her children's acquisition of Japanese; she teaches at a local Japanese Saturday school where her daughter takes classes from.
Comment: Although my speaker was interested in her children's acquisition of Japanese, and was actively involved, she and her husband seemed to have given up too easily when it came to the children's acquisition of Spanish. The parents both held a belief that fathers are less capable in passing on language than mothers. Such belief is dangerous, because in a household like my interviewee's, where both parents work about the equal amount of time, the amount of contribution each parent makes in children's language acquisition should be about equal as well. Having a distorted belief due to gender stereotypes could only negatively affect children’s chance at language acquisition.
Quote: “And I did want to teach them and I was trying but unless the desire is there on their part then the energy of one person to communicate in that language and not having the environment that receives it is too difficult. So it is the energy of that person that is communicating in that language that if it is not being received. If there is no receptor to it, then that communication is lost.”
Description:
First Language: Russian or Georgian
Languages other than English: Hebrew and French
Parent relation: Mother
Age immigrated to Canada: 16
Age group of parent: 50-60
Number of children: 2
Age group of children: 10-20
Languages children speak: only English
Comment: She had made efforts to teach her children her first language when they were younger, but her attempts failed. The culture and environment children are immersed in, can affect their perspective on a language that is not used as a form of communication in their immediate surroundings. But as a parent, you can make an effort to make your child be proud of your linguistic heritage and develop at least some degree of conversational ability. Not saying that you should force them to know the language but at least develop some form of interest on their part to learn it. A language that is robustly being used can influence children to become fluent in it. Although there may not be any programs such as immersion schools that facilitate your mother tongue, you could “create” this sort of environment. The one parent, one language strategy is effective in households where only one parent knows the language, in this case it your first language. This method includes one parent always speaking to the child in the dominant language, English, and the other parent speaking the minority language of the society. You can do this by creating “fun” and “exciting” situations where the language could be used, such as incorporating the language in their favorite games. You can also let family members who speak the language become involved. This can assist children in gaining fluency in it and will build a sense of readiness and eagerness to learn about your culture. By making a substantial effort on your part, that is not being forceful, your child could become bilingual in your mother tongue, as well as English. But this depends on the interest of your child.
Quote: “One day when we were in a Russian store, I’ve heard parents speaking Russian to their son who was about eight years old, and the boy would answer them in English all the time. We do not want that to happen in our family…We want our child to know Russian, not just understand it, but be able to speak it.”
Description: Both father and mother were born in Ukraine, and Russian is their first language. The father has been living in Canada for 12 years and is now in his 40s. He has good comprehension of English, but at the same time he has never learned the proper grammar and formal written English. The mother came to Canada 3 years ago and is now in her 30s. At present time she is taking ESL beginners course at the local school.
Comment: The daughter of these parents is only two years old. She has started going to daycare, and the parents are already seeing the signs of English in their child’s speech. They are not worried yet; however, they are getting ready to face the increasing pressure of English when their daughter goes to school. These parents knowingly want to resist the assimilation and are determined to preserve Russian language in their family. They want their daughter to feel the connection to them as well as to their homeland despite the fact that she was not born there. It seems that they want her to become “one of them”, meaning one of those people who have lived the greater part of their lives in their home country. That allowed them to absorb the culture and spiritual values proper to that country. As a result, even after immigration to Canada these people are able to retain and cherish all those values that define them as Russians. For example, just like in any culture, there are many Russian movies, books and jokes that sometimes can be understood only by the native speakers, those who were born “there”, in post-Soviet republics. The parents should be realistic about their chances to preserve the Russian language. As their daughter goes to school, English will become the instruction language, and at some point she will not be able to explain the new concepts in Russian, simply because she may not learn the corresponding vocabulary in Russian. Children immigrating to Canada with their parents lose their competence in a native language quite fast, immerging into English-speaking environments. It is hard to deny that children born here will lose that competence even faster if the proper Russian environment is not created. The main integral of that environment are parents who have to speak Russian to their child. It seems that it is not bilingualism that scares many immigrant parents, but rather biculturism. The respondents were growing up in monolingual environment during the Soviet era where the main goal was to create a unified culture. The notion of biculturism is unknown to them. They have always identified themselves as Russians, and they want to instill the same morals and values in their daughter.
Quote: “There was no discussion about which languages we would speak when we had our first child. We thought because we spoke Portuguese at home [between the parents], how could she not speak it? We were mistaken.”
Description:
Language: Portuguese
Parent relation: Mother and Father
Newness to Canada: Father - 32 years, Mother - 15 years
Age of parents: 40-50 age group
Age of children: 10, 11, 13
Children now speak: English
Comment: The first four years that a child spends at home with the parents are critical for acquiring language – no instruction is required because the children will pick up what’s spoken to them. This short, precious time can be used to pass on the language of the parents, regardless of the language that is spoken outside the home. Children are capable learners. They will pick up a second language in a very short time, say when they start school. They may have some difficulties at first, but they will quickly adapt, and without complaint. They will do what they do best at that young age. Learn, and seemingly without effort. The end result is a perfectly bilingual child, and happy, proud parents.
Quote: “I work in customer service, and many people insult me for my accent and for the country I came from. (...) I would definitely prefer my children to be integrated in the society than be insulted in some kind of way because of their language or accent. “ “Just I believe it’s simply the reality, if the child is born in an English speaking country, and everybody around him speaks English, I mean at work, outside the house... I believe it’s better for him to speak just the country’s first language.”
Description:
Language: Russian
Parent relation: Mother
Newness to Canada: 13 years
Age of parent: 47
Age of children: 21 and 10
Children now speak Russian?: 21 y.o. - yes, 10 y.o. - no
Comment: It’s disturbing to hear that such attitudes of intolerance persist to this day. In the past, this has influenced many parents to stop passing on their native language, leading to language decline and even extinction. It is shameful that people are still insulted for the way they speak. But, fear not. The children will not suffer the same way - they will not have the accent. They will be exposed to enough English at a young enough age to make their speech indistinguishable from that of a native speaker. The above person is afflicted by a very, very unfortunate misconception that a bilingual person will certainly have an accent in one of the languages. If the children receive enough exposure to both languages, they will become proficient in both. The child will speak clear English. At most, they will have a small difference in pronunciation of one or two sounds, unnoticeable to most people. In fact, being fluent in two languages will likely expand the child’s circle of friends, allowing bonding over the minority language and culture, as well as the mainstream.