People

When I say "People" here, I mean past relationships. It is odd to think that I, who was convinced coming out of higschool that I would forever be single, now have ex-girlfriends. To be honest about it, I feel bad about it. I know that I have loved each of them in their own way. That I don't feel anymore as I used to offends a naive romantic sensibility in me. But as an Engineer, I have developed a pragmatic – almost cavalier – attitude towards it all. I don't like it, but it keeps the guilt away.

It's weird. I want to say something here; I feel that it is important to say something here, because insofar as important factors in my life go, these people have been among the most important. But I find myself treading dangerous waters here; if I say too little, then perhaps the person in question will feel snubbed; too much and I am sure to offend others. If I say the wrong thing (as I am prone to do), then I might just offend anyone. I'll therefore keep it brief; if anyone has cause for offense, I encourage them to contact me to let me know. The people I talk about on this page, especially, are among the people to whom I would least want to cause any kind of harm or offense.

V.Q.
My first girlfriend, a (dubious) honour that can be bestowed but once. Thank you for having been you, for having been so understanding. You opened my eyes afresh to music, and you were there to lend unconditional support during a very trying time in my life. I was wrong in trying to re-create the friendship too quickly after we broke up, and I feel that in doing so I have forever put some distance between us. I am thankful, though, for those times which we do find to connect...

A.K.
What to say... ours was certainly a tumultuous time. Many ups, but many downs, too. I learned quite a lot – about me, about you, and about life – with you. Although I would like to think that I have always treated you fairly, I am at times unconvinced that I always treated you properly. If I ever wasn't a proper boyfriend, I hope at least that I can make it up to you now, and in the future, by being a true friend.

I.S.
It's a good thing that I am putting these in chronological order, because this is not only the last paragraph for me to write, it is also the most difficult. To say that I feel guilty about the way things have gone in recent months is not entirely accurate, but it is certainly not incorrect. There are certain ironies which I cannot stand (if the idea of love being finite and reversible offends my romantic sensibilities, then the tragedy of bad timing causes my blood to boil). That I should be the cause of such a happening pains me deeply. I can only hope, now, that we might in time rediscover the friendship which we used to have...

Back to ME!