Jokes
Jokes are funny:
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Atilla the Pun
What justice system?
In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $ 2.9 million U.S. in damages to
81-year-old Stella Liebeck who suffered third-degree burns to her
legs, groin and buttocks after spilling a cup of McDonald's
coffee on herself.
This case inspired an annual award - The "Stella"
Award -for the most frivolous lawsuit in the U.S. The ones listed below are
clear candidates.
All these cases are verging on the outright ridiculous and yet (in the
good old USA) with the right attorney you could win anything! (see OJ
trial)
1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a
jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
running amuck inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little
prick was Ms. Robertson's son.
2. June 1998: A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman
apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was
trying to steal his neighbour's hubcaps.
3. October 1998: A Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house
he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
garage door to go up, because the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He
couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage
locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation. Mr. Dickson found
himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he
found, and a large bag of dry dog food. Mr. Dickson sued the omeowner's
insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury
agreed to the tune of half a million dollars.
4. October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and
medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbour's
beagle. The beagle was on a chain in it's owner's fenced-in yard, as was Mr.
Williams. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog may have
been provoked by Mr. Williams who, at the time, was shooting it repeatedly with
a pellet gun.
5. May 2000: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on soft drink and broke her
coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her
boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
6. December 1997: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner
of a night club in a neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to
the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was
trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50
cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
7. And just so you know that cooler heads do occasionally prevail:
Kenmore Inc., the makers of Dorothy Johnson's microwave, were found not liable
for the death of Mrs. Johnson's poodle after she gave it a bath and attempted to
dry it by putting the poor creature in her microwave for, "just a few minutes,
on low." The case was quickly dismissed.