Fo Guang Youth Talk with Professor Tsang

          On June 23rd, Fo Guang Shan had the privilege of talking to Professor Tsang, a member of the University of Toronto faculty, for the third time. His objective for this talk was to discuss youth issues in more detail so he asked each person attending to briefly introduce him/herself. However, in order to get people to share their experiences and opinions, one must do the sharing first. This was exactly what he did. We heard how he struggled to adjust to Canada after leaving Hong Kong, and how he resolved to stay no matter how much he longed to go back. His perseverance paid off bit by bit twelve years later, and he considers himself to have made the right choice when he came to Canada. After this tale and many others from each person, Professor Tsang launched into the discussion. The following are just a few highlights from the talk:

          A youth is someone who has reached puberty but is still dependent on his/her parents for needs such as food and shelter. It's too difficult to distinguish youths just from his/her age because different people mature at their own paces respectively.

          Everybody views things from a different perspective. For example, teens see the movie "Titanic" as a love story between Jack and Rose, but adults are more aware of the issues presented between different social classes and relationships. These are two very different views but that is okay. There is no one "right" answer. Sometimes people don't realize this and it leads to misconceptions. For one, the "quest for material wealth" is actually not that big of a problem because money is a transitional object. If you think about it, it doesn't really matter if you have money. What's more important is what you can get with money, and these things are much more precious to you than what money will ever be. Another misunderstanding is the belief that in order to be successful, one must go to university. This is not always the best way to go though, making it difficult for the child who has to cope with parents that are still sticking to the traditional views.

          One thing Professor Tsang emphasized was that people need to have their own space. They need time to explore their unique ego identities, i.e. the way they differentiate from others. However, they should not be left alone too much because they still need a little guidance and support. This identity is always changing because people change - there is no "permanent identity" for anybody. What affects this identity the most is the teenagers' relationships. If these relationships are constantly problematic, the teen's self-esteem will go down and vice versa. Most teenagers think that looks are everything (thus creating problematic relationships to begin with) but "beauty is only skin-deep." A person's personality is far more important because that stays with you whereas beauty slowly diminishes with age. High school politics dictate that you have to be so-called "popular" to be accepted, and conformity is very important. Often teenagers seek to conform but also desire to be outstanding compared to the others. They need to have "moral courage" to do this. For example, a growing percentage of high school students smoke or do drugs. Yes, they know that smoking can kill you. They've also seen the horrible pictures of lung cancer patients who can barely talk. They've heard the stories many, many times¡K but why do they still do it? The need to conform, even though they might not want to inside. Parents need to understand this, and if possible, help their child find the moral courage to break free.

          In conclusion, this discussion/talk with Professor Tsang was a very informative one. What made it special was that he listened to each and every one of us as equals. He had a powerful way of connecting with us through his remarkable honesty and frankness. He was also very helpful and knowledgeable, capable of answering all of our questions without hesitation. Professor Tsang taught us it's okay to make mistakes. It's okay for some relationships to not work out; sometimes it's possible to "come across a snag" with your parents or friends - life is like that. It is our sincerest hopes that Mr. Tsang will one day be able to enlighten us again. Thank you, Professor, for making a difference in our lives!

BLIA YAD of Toronto

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