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Finishing a mo-cap session two hours early, Levine was bullied by Jon Chey into just doing something to justify the time they’d paid for. “So I said  [to the motion-capture actor]: ‘Do monkey motions’,” Levine says. “We had no monkeys in the game, but we did it anyway.” These assets had to find a home, and Levine hit on the idea of lab-experimented apes gaining sentience, and being justifiably annoyed about their treatment at the hands of Man.

“All those story elements we had to back-solve. I find I tend to write best in those situations, when I have a constraint set already,” Levine remembers. “I had these psychic monkeys… so I had to work out how and why, in a way which wasn’t ridiculous and hopefully kinda scary. When my back’s to a wall, I tend to work better.” Not that everyone saw the appeal of psychic monkeys from the outset: “Everyone else was: ‘Dude, you’re ****ing insane. We’re not having monkeys in the game!’”

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..Players will be submerged in water for what we hope will be days at a time playing our games. Our focus groups have indicated, almost universally, that video-game systems that cause player fatalities are received poorly by the public, no matter how we describe the event. Therefore, players must be able to breathe underwater. We recommend some variation on the long, narrow, hollow cylindrical devices used to drink soda...

I also murdered a balloon vendor near the Central Park Reservoir back in ’92, so I suppose it all comes out even, just. [Local authorities, you know where to contact us. —Ed.]

Mr. Prime, I am going to remind you again: Your policy with GEICO only reimburses you for accidents that occur while you are engaged in the reasonable use of your truck and trailer. As I told you when you originally purchased the policy, GEICO does not offer Megatron coverage, Starscream coverage, Soundwave coverage, Decepticon coverage, or Energon-blast coverage. Those are just not the types of damages we would expect from reasonable use.