April 28, 2004.

I am keeping a countdown till the time I am done the exams. Only calculus is left now and I really really really want it to be over. Today wasn't bad because I went downtown and sat in on Joel's review session. It was good and cleared up some things for me. After that I even got in the mood and did 3 more hours of studying on my own before coming home and surrendering to MSN.

I am going to copy Ainsley and do the Daily Dirt thing:

1. Kissing or hugging?
I'd have to say kissing ;)

2. Eating or Drinking?
Eating... Yummy food... like ice cream!

3. Dancing or Singing?
Singing... It's fun, just not for people who are listening to it.

4. Laughing or giggling?
Laughing

5. Meeting a celebrity or knowing a celebrity?
Knowing a celebrity... It would be interesting!

Anyways, I've got the questions from Daily Dirt, but if anyone wants to add their own questions for me, I might answer.

Daly's coming back :) Exams are done soon :) Weather's getting better :) Life is not all that bad!

April 25, 2004.

I just woke up from having one of those really crazy dream. One of those that could not have been true, but seem so plausible for some reason when you are sleeping. It started with me & Kathrine Tom staying at some big hotel. For some reason we were way better friends than we are in real life and we were outside having some wierd yo-yo tournaments. Also, Kat was working for Bell there and was entitled a membership to gym, which she wanted to drag me to, but I wanted to go shopping instead. But then we just decided to go to my hometown in Russia where apparently Kat was in love with one of my old classmates. So we went there & then the whole dream became a really strange mix of english and russian speech. For some reason we arrived at night and were trying to find his home there, which Kat has apparently seen before, but for some reason there was this wierd policeman trying to follow us and we were escaping him. At the end, we found my old classmate, talked to him, got rid of the policeman, and then my dream ended. That was one strange dream!

As for the real world, I've been pretty busy all last week. Mostly, I am studying for my exam... I was making notes for the last unit of psychology, which was pretty big, consisting of six fairly big chapters, but I am done with that last night. Now I have to review everything for psychology & CSC165 for tomorrow as both of those exams going to be then.

I already wrote CSC148 exam, which was not nearly as easy as I has hoped. I wasn't able to solve one of the questions, but partially because the lady who I asked about it got me totally confused. Well, to be sure, I am not completely sure I would have gotten it otherwise either the way they wanted me to... I mean there was another way to do it that I knew of, but it involved an extra variable that I could not put incide the while loop I was supposed to write. Ah well, no matter, that's all over and I think I did well enough to keep my final markabove 85%.

I was watching more movies lately too. I am becoming a movie maniac I think. I saw Bulletproof Monk last night, which was a fun movie to watch. The day before that, I watched the Medallion with Jackie Chan, which I found highly implausible and generic for him, but I like him so it was fun to watch none the less. Before that I saw Butterfly Effect, which I wanted to see for awhile and which was pretty interesting, but the ending totally disappointed me. What's with Hollywood requiring happy ends for everything? This movie was begging for something bad to turn out at the end. Oh well...

I've also visited my old high school on wednesday, which was pretty interesting. Apparently, Ms Wong is getting married on July 31st to some engineer guy. I am wondering if he towers over her ;) Probably not since apparently he is chinese too... She should have done like Ms Masih with her 6'2' husband. Also, Victor has arranged for the lesson with Ms. Livingston, but he is going to do it next week, probably friday... Firstly I asked him to do that because that's when my exams ended and I was free again, but then I realized I have work that day, so now I wouldn't be able to go. Which sucks, but I guess that's just life.

April 20, 2004.

When I was a kid, I read in a book that there are eggs that have two egg yolks in just one egg. Sort of like twins I suppose. Since then it was my dream to eat a boiled egg that has two yolks. I've just ate two eggs, but they were normal, so my dream lives on.

I've spent today making psychology notes. I've finished 1.5 chapters leaving me with still 3 more chapter to go, which majorly sucks since I don't really feel I have time to make all those notes. Ah well, we'll see how much I'll be able to finish before the evil hour of the exam strucks. I've also got my final mark for the humanities course I was taking... I've got a B... B stands for Blah... I really wish I could make it A-, but it's not even close to that. Ah, well, it's just lit... I guess I just don't see that very deep meaning behind Winnie the Pooh. It's ok, seeing deep meanings only spoils things anyways.

I've been watching a lot of movies lately. It's pretty much movie a day sort of deal. I've watched Roadtrip, which was one of those gross-out teenage comedies sort of thing with lots of naked girls I might add. It must have had an R rating at least in the theaters... Way too many boobs too... I did not know what I was signing on when I started watching it. Then I saw Sweet Home Alabama, which was ok, but a totally typical hollywood sort of romantic comedy. Absolutely unrealistic, but I enjoed watching Reese well enough, so that wasn't too bad. Today, I watched Honey... That was not a totally bad movie though very very predictable. Apparently, one of the girls I know from UofT dances somewhere on background in that movie, but I wasn't able to notice :(.

I hope tomorrow will prove interesting as I am going to Erindale with Victor. He is planning to ask Ms. Livingston to teach CS class for her and boy I don't want to miss that lesson. It will be pretty interesting to see Victor teaching those kids something totally easy. I need a camera for this. Ah well, personal experience is good enough.

I am wishing for the end of the month to come sooner... I am tired of this whole exam thing and I just want it to be over with... Plus, everyone's coming back to mississauga at the end of the month & hopefully I'll get payed, so I want to finally get out and go shopping... Well, this is it... Arivederchi...

April 16, 2004.

I am having one of those feeling I get after watching a good movie or reading a good book. It is sort of like introspection, but it's not any specific thoughts, just a feeling deep down... That's how I can always tell a really good movie from a really entertaining movie. I was watching Lost in Translation tonight... On the face of things nothing happens in the movie: the guy comes to Japan meets a girl who could be his daughter, hangs out with her, nothing happens, he leaves. But at the same time there are quite a few levels to the story... It builds up the relationship so well, I must say I had no idea what will happen and where it would go and it's just plain interesting on the psychological level of things. The great thing about the movie is that it's so realistic... Not your Hollywood stereotype people sort of movie... not at all... In addition, the whole thing takes place in Japan... I've even been to some of the places shown in the movie... gives me a sort of reminiscence of good old times... I guess I can just relate to the characters without even being in the same situation... Basically, if you liked something like American Beauty, then you'll like this.

On a totally different note, I bought a new pair of shoes today. It's not particularly remarkable, but I thought I'd share :). Work was quite uneventful today... I had some really stupid lady who couldn't figure out what her birthday is... She filled in the year and the month and then kept asking me what they mean by the day... I could see Mrs. Wu rolling her eyes and that doesn't happen that much.

Then, I got home after an eight hour shift and I actually sat myself down and got myself to do some work. I started making a psychology note for Chapter 9, which is the Language chapter. I've actually gotta do so much studying and I have no time at all... but somehow I am not worried about it. Which might be a bad signal, but I don't care about that at the moment either.

April 15, 2004.

Ah, my Easter was heaven on earth... I am especially appreciating it now that I had my hell on earth today. I'll start with the good stuff though. I got to Ottawa just fine to find Daly there alive and everything, so everything was great. I think the whole weekend was totally remarkable for the number of movies we watched and the amount of yummy food we had.

Firstly the movies:
Freaky Friday - That was actually pretty good and not nearly as lame as I thought it might be. Lots of funny scenes there and just a good thing to watch.
Escape from Alcatraz - Sort of an average movie, but on the verge of being a good movie. It just seems that there are way too many movies about escapes from Alcatraz than there are actually escapes!
My Bosses' Daughter - Now this was a really, really crappy comedy. I mean like really really really bad... In a bad way... I think you can imagine.
Underworld - This was alright, though I expected more special effects and the story itself wasn't all that great, new, or unexpected. Also very obviously they are going to be making continuations... My predictions are that they will suck. The movie itself was not all that bad though.
Windtalkers - Now after all those comedies and stuff, this was a little heavy. A WWII movies with Nicholas Cage. It was not too bad, but not amazing. The plot was fairly obvious, but the acting was good, so not too bad an impression all in all.
The Banger Sisters - Well, this was dumb and very very very unrealistic in terms of plot, character development, and almost everything else. Though it did have a few really funny dialogues and scenes. Did not manage to salvage the movie though.
Finding Forrester - This was the second time I saw this movie and for the second time I thought that the movie was decent though I think I liked it more the first time I watched it. This is probably one movie I would recommend to watch.

Well, along with these movies I consumed lots of food such as Shrimps, Steaks, Chicken Drumsticks, Wontons, Fries, Pizzas with LOTS of cheese, and ice cream. YUM. So nothing particularly exciting or out of the way happened this weekend, but in a way it was just perfect because it was exactly what I needed after all the stress... I've got all the sleep, comfort, entertainment and it was great... really really great.

Today on the other hand really sucked. I think I'll just quote myself on why it did:
"I woke up to find out that it's 30 minutes before the start of my shift because I did not set alarm clock properly... I ran out to the living room in my nighty to find some indian guy sitting there doing taxes... I had to get ready in 20 minutes and take bus there... Meaning I had no breakfast at all... I've got a headache and Mrs. Wu (my manager) was annoying me with stupid stuff... All I've got through an 8 hour shift was 15 minute lunch break... There were annoying clients who kept wanting something or other... I made ppl wait and then had to explain that they have to go away because Dr can't see them after all... I checked my bank account and did not like my balance... then I had to wait another 20 minutes for my dad to come pick me up... And that's all with a headache all day long."

Tonight was better though... I found out that I didn't do nearly as bad on A3 for CSC165 as I thought I did... Though I must agree with Ainsley in thinking that they were giving out extra 20 marks for spelling your name correctly. Their marks surely don't make sense to me, but it's all good :). Also I've finally decided on my POSt: I am enrolling into Computer Science specialist: Comprehensive Option. I figured it will give me opportunity to do math, which is something I want to study, it will give me lots of CS courses that I'd like to do, and in the spare slots I can always fit in some psychology and that way I won't have to follow some stupid requirements of psych minor, but take whatever I want instead. I have also enrolled into summer school to take linear algebra since I figured I've gotta get my next year unpacked a bit since I get to do way too much math in one semester the way my schedule turns out. So it's all good... It feels nice to have my life figured out for now... Until the doubts return that is.

Finally, my social life for the summer does not look as bad as I thought it might... Apparently Aurelia, Vanessa, and Steve all have summer courses on the same day I do! That surely sounds like more hanging out in HH to me! Then there is Aurelia's performance in May, which I must attend being her groupie and all! Also, Victor is coming to visit from Vancouver tomorrow, so that might prove to be entertaining since he is planning to crash in my high school CS teacher Ms. Livingston's class and ask her to actually do the teaching for that period. I am going along and I anticipate it to be awesome. Also lots of plans are circulating on getting together with some high school ppl. Angela messaged me that she is organizing a get together around may 1st and Kat promised she'll help me to drag Rebecca out of her hole this summer. Hopefully, all uni people won't lose contact over the summer, so the summer might turn out pretty good after all. Well, we'll see... I better go to bed now... After all I better actually wake up for work tomorrow.

April 8, 2004.

Ahh, the school is over! It surely feels nice to be out. I am also totally done one of my courses. That's my first year seminar that I wrote 7 pages essay in class today single spaced on fullscap. Now there are just four more exams left, but as someone said today: "Details...". So I am not worrying about it at the moment.

I am leaving for Ottawa tomorrow morning. I already packed my bag and bought my tickets so I am ready to go. I am looking forward to some rest from all this school crap and parent crap and every other kind of crap too. Now I just gotta figure out what to do there and it will all be great.

I am sort of wondering right now how long it's gonna take me till I start to miss Uni terribly. I mean if feels great when the term is over and the worst is behind, but I feel I am really gonna miss all the fun I had in between classes and hell I think I had fun in classes too. Interlinking butterflies :) Doing an assignment on your own in front of your prof... Of course the HH is the best!

Right now I am considering whether I should take summer school or just kill myself outright and not prolong this course selection torture. I was thinking about doing it at UTM as not to do the whole commuting thing during the summer, but UTM sucks (what news!) and they don't really offer any normal courses during the summer, so if I decide to take a course I'd have to do it at St. George... Well, I guess I'll be thinking about it. Anyone with suggestions on how to live through the second year, feel free to msg me about it.

Random fact: I won a net profit on $4 dollars a couple of days ago in lottery - it was nice. Now if I could just win $21 million in Super 7 on friday, it would be all good. Yep, keeping my fingers crossed for that... I mean I could use a house downtown, and a car, and a boat, and a helicopter, and a...

Anyways, I had all these things I was planning to write, but I don't remember them anymore, so I off to Ottawa. Bye!

April 2, 2004.

I am not feeling particularly happy tonight... I've been talking to Daly for hours about what I should take in university and all that accomplished was made me feel totally stupid and not good for anything. I know he did not mean it to that effect, but I am just feeling this way at the moment. I mean the university for the first time in my life made me feel like I am totally incapable. It's not the marks, it's the fact that I see so many people doing things they are interested in and are capable of doing even if they have lower marks. For me, I am realizing that I am not particularly good at any of it, though I can grasp the basics I suppose. CSC165 makes me feel especially bad because it's the sort of course where no matter how much I try to understand, it just eludes me to the point of wanting to beat my head against the wall and scream.

I wish I was really good at something, but I'd settle for knowing what I want. I mean everything seems to influence me way too much. One day somebody tells me this is right and I'll believe them and the next day my parents will tell me to do the other thing and I will stay there thinking whose way I should follow without being able to figure out what 'I' want to do with my life rather than making my decisions based on what everyone else around me encourages me to do and making a compromise out of that. Yet, there's something in me that doesn't let me to severe the ties... And everyone keeps telling me they'll stand by my decisions & I know it to be true, but still I base my decisions on unsaid expectations. I am so tired of that... So tired...