May 27, 2004.

I remember reading in my psychology textbook the difference between introverts and extraverts. Apparently for extraverts some of the neurotransmitters in their brain are not secreted enough and they end up cortically underaroused so to be at an ideal level of stimulation they have to get out and do all sort of things just go get their adrenal gland working and keep the level of stimulation good, while intraverts are cortically overaroused so everything stimulates them too much, hence they tend to find quieter and more peaceful occupations. Well, I am pretty sure I am an intravert since I sit at home, avoid contact with people and still get enough stimulation to keep me emotional for days. After being all unhappy for the last couple of days, I have suddenly became pretty damn happy today. Nothing particular happened and still my mood changed 180 degrees. Another thing we were taught in psychology is that emotions are purely cognitive interpretations of a physical state. Thus as long as my nervous system is aroused my brain may interpret it as fear, happiness, anger, fright, or anything at all it seems. So I guess as long as I put my overexcited system into a happy situation I'll be happy or vice versa. I never really thought of it in psychological terms before, but this is making sense to me now.

This morning I went out for a breakfast with Rebecca and Kat to the Apricot Tree, where we spent about half an hour just ordering our food because we kept chatting instead of deciding what to eat. The waiter came back for our order 4 times! Then we ate and talked about good old times and good new times and it was quite a nice start of the day. So the whole morning thing put me in a good mood and pretty much kept me there for awhile. Life is good.

May 26, 2004.

It's getting quite late and I probably should be in bed by now, but I felt like writing a few lines tonight. It's been a long day today, most of which I spent "algebrazing" aka catching up with all the stuff I should have done last week and some of the stuff that was assigned for this week. So far the stuff is not very difficult at all, but I am not deceived... I know it's gonna come and hit me like a rock eventually.

I spent about 3 hours on the phone with Daly tonight. If not for this really cheap long distance plan we'd spend so much money on conversations! I was making some preliminary plans for my birthday, but right now the big question is where I could hold it and so far I am not sure about it. Well, I guess I'll come up with something in time or cancel it and hide somewhere from everyone who will be seeking retribution. If anyone has some brilliant ideas about this I will definitely welcome them!

I am still feeling sad today though. I have to say that life is a lot like a zebra... Comes in white and black stripes. It's one of the black stripes at the moment. I am not even sure it's anything in particular, but just everything around that seemed fine just before starts to bother me: school, relationships, money matters, etc. Hopefully it will pass as I am hardly enjoying the sensation. I really wish I could get out of the city right now... I'd like to go to a forest and sit somewhere, breathe fresh air and listen to the whispering leaves...

Here are the lyrics to the song Clumsy that I've been listening to a lot lately:

Throw away the radio suitcase
That keeps you awake
Hide the telephone, the telephone, telephone, in case,
You realize that sometimes you're not okay
You level off, you level off, you level off,
And its not all right now

You need to understand
There's nothing strange about this
You need to know your friends
You need to know that

I'll be waving my hand watching you drown
Watching you scream
Quiet or loud

And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need, a friend
As clumsy as you've been
There's no one laughing
You will be safe in here
You will be safe in here

Throw away this very old shoelace
That tripped you again
Try to shrug it off, shrug it off, shrug it off
It's only skin now

You need to understand
There's nothing fake about this
You need to let me in
I'm watching you

And I'll be waving my hand watching you drown
Watching you scream
No ones around

And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need, a friend
As clumsy as you've been
There's no one laughing
You will be safe in here ow
You will be safe in

I'll be waving my hand watching you drown
Watching you scream
Quiet or loud

And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need, a friend
As clumsy as you've been
There's no one laughing
You will be safe in here ow ow
You will be safe in ow ow
You will be safe in here, in here, ow ow ow ow , in here, ow ow , in here, ow ow ow ow ow, in here, ow ow ow, in here, ow ow ow ow, in here, ow ow

May 25, 2004.

I am feeling all tired and headachy tonight, which makes me want to complain, but there is no one listening to me. So I'll just complain here because I gotta. The whole headachy thing started from Algebra probably. I don't like my algebra prof at all. He keeps messing up his lesson and does not know things. He also keeps reading textbook in the middle of the lesson! It's annoying. He also kept making mistakes and people keep correcting them and he keeps on arguing with people. Argggggh. Maybe it just feels worse than it actually is because I am in this sort of mood. Then there was my TA whose name is Joon and who is not TOO bad, but simply clueless about things. I asked him something and he just said "I don't know" and went on with whatever. Great. Just great. I miss Joel :( He actually made me understand things!

I just finished reading Neuromancer by William Gibson. I think it rather contributes to my dark outlook on life right now. I mean the book can hardly be called a light read. It was really interesting though. I've been meaning to read it for awhile and it was definitely really interesting. Reminded me of Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson in some ways. I guess it's the style.. The sort of style where you don't understand anythign that goes on and when you do a new thing happens. Sort of like one thing within another within another. Yeah... I guess this is enough for one entry. Sayonara.

May 24, 2004.

Victoria day is here and for once I didn't spend it at home. Instead William invited me and a few selected others to spend it with him. So it was me, Patrick, Aurelia and William at his house. Well, actually it was a house that his sister will have once she marries, but for now it was all ours.

We started out by eating some excellent food. I have to commend William on an extensive selection of cheeses that were available (4) and the choice of drinks too! So we spent the time playing the original Nintendo Mario and then a lot of Trivial Pursuit, which was actually really fun! We also had some beer to go around and learned how to say "I am tipsy" in German from Aurelia. By the end of the evening Steven, Vanessa, and Vanessa's friend also joined us at William's house where we were watching some wierd scenes from Monty Pithon and the Holy Grail which I mostly did not get. We also had The Two Towers playing on the background for awhile, but no one really watched that.

So to sum it all up nothing overly exciting happened (like a game of strip Boggle earlier suggested by Ainsley) but it was a jolly good way to spend a day.

May 20, 2004.

Today I had a pretty good day. I went downtown and met Janice there for a coffee. We had a nice chat and proceeded to the Paramount movie theater where we met Nelson and went to see Troy all together.

In general, I found Troy to be an interesting movie if you ignore that it's supposed to base itself on Illiad. There was no basis of Illead beneath, there were just a few stolen names and mixed up facts and a totally new thing instead. Still I enjoyed the movie. Must be all those half naked muscular guys there ;)

Later on we went to eat and I tried some Crepes in some special Crepe place on Queen Street. I was personally not impressed with one crepe being sold for $5 - $6, but they were surprisingly filling, so that was good. We had a nice chat all together and walked towards Bathurst subway station and all in all I'd call the day a success.

May 18, 2004.

I had my first summer school class today. It was algebra and it wasn't the greatest. My biggest complaint at the moment is my prof who has a fairly thick accent and to top it off thinks that listing theorems is the best way to teach algebra. Ah well, I guess I'll do some textbook studying if there is nothing else. I mean all my friends have already taken this course so I gotta be able to find someone who knows this stuff and will be able to actually explain it to me. I theoretically could switch to the evening lecture for the course, but that seems like the way to invite snoozing trouble. I mean no one can really stay awake around 8 pm listening to algebra, can they? So I guess I'll just see how it goes for now.

The nice thing is that I actually know a few people in the class so I don't feel totally alone. Mike is there as was expected and I also found a Russian guy I know, Ilias, is taking it as well, so I have someone to talk to when the lesson gets too boring. I am afraid that we might not stop talking at all ;)

I am tired of not seeing anyone, so now I am trying to make plans to see people. William is one of them :) You better come through with your plan, Will, or you will not see that moss for a while!

Well, it's pretty late right now, so I think this will be it for tonight. Good night everyone!

May 17, 2004.

I have been planning on blogging alot. That's the problem - whenever I spend time planning to do something, I don't actually get to doing it. It's gotta be spontaneous. This blog is definitely spontaneous. Whee :)

Well, I must say I didn't do so bad for the first year after all. I finished with a 93 in calculus which must be a God sent miracle... God being Joel or Sean, lol. Other marks are pretty good too, so at the end I have 3.8 GPA and thus my scholarship is renewed + I might get something from Innis as well. So hopefully I'll get some money for the next year. *crosses fingers and toes for that*

I am going back to school tomorrow. Not so psyched about doing Algebra at the moment and probably never will be. Yet, it's going to be nice to be back to school. I miss hanging out at HH! Though now HH is probably empty. The good news is, I actually know someone in my Algebra class already. Mike is taking it also, so at least I'll have someone to talk to if the lecture gets boring. hehe. Of course there is also my PPC, which helps too :).

So far my summer work is going ok, though I really overestimate the amount of money I am going to make there. First of all I've got fewer hours than I thought and secondly Mrs. Wu doesn't seem to be in any hurry to raise my salary. Well, hopefully soon she will since I am pretty much done the training. She didn't seem in much of a hurry to train me either I might add. Now I also do pre-testing for the patients which I kinda like. I guess I just like doing equipment stuff. If I don't get a computer, at least I get a tonometer and a refractor.

I have also been losing badly in minesweeper flags to Patrick. This is a message for Patrick: "Stop Winning NOW".

I've been catching up with my reading these couple weeks and I found a really worthwhile book to read: "The Eyre Affair" by Jasper Fforde. It's really really good. It's a sort of alternative history/sci-fi kinda novel, but it's really funny and I love the way it's written. The main character, Thursday Next, is just great and the book is really top-notch. I totally recommend it to everyone.

Well, I just realized it's midnight and it's time for me to go read some more or play some more or do something more unproductive. Well, I am glad that at least Ainsley seems to check my non-changing blog. Night all.