October 14, 2004.

After deciding that I can't cram any more work into today (well, I could but it would probably be damaging for my mental health) I decided that I might as well spend a bit of time blogging since no one is talking to me on MSN. Talking about MSN, it was being too buggy for a few days there and even brought me back to my ICQ roots which was sort of nice... People from my ICQ list still remember me (!) and I wasn't on for like years now. Which was nice however strange it might be to feel on friendly terms with someone whom you were out of contact forever.

My long weekend for Thanksgivings was especially prolonged by a cold I've got on Thursday which made me skip the friday of the long weekend and then I didn't class till Tuesday evening, so it was almost five days off school which felt like a damn good vacation until I REALLY got back to school on Wednesday and had to catch up with calculus that as usual makes no sense. Ah well, hopefully the whole calculus thing is going to be just like last year. First it will confuse the hell out of me and then I'll get it and live happily ever after. *crosses fingers*. On the other hand, CSC236 surely feels like a lost cause... The essense of that course simply escapes me... I mean I can follow any proof the prof does or the book explains line by line and sure it makes sense, but when I actually have to do the whole proof thing, my brain starts boiling and vapour comes out of my eyes. OR SOMETHING. It doesn't help that I have an assignment for that class due next week.

As usual for me on Thursdays I spent some quality time at work. Now we are fully booked and I get all these people who think I should book them an appointment ASAP because they are so special. Our new booking policy as set by my manager now reads: "Book only the people who are friends, ultra polite, or those whom you made to wait for you for more than 10 minutes on the line". I would really prefer a policy that doesn't book anyone at all. In fact I suggested as much to my manager, but she completely blew off the idea saying that we can tell that to people ourselves. Well then. The only interesting thing that happened today was when this man came in and asked me whether I used to take piano lessons. I didn't but I did take guitar lessons at his music school about 3 years ago and the fact that he actually recognized me was very surprising indeed!

Hopefully I am going to have either a really nice or a really productive weekend. In fact I'd like to have both, but things like that would be just too good to be true. However to make it as good as possible I am spending my Saturday working and having fun and my Sunday studying. Maybe something will even come out of that!

October 3, 2004.

I was reading my sociology textbook tonight and it was talking about postindustrial rationalism like the way people have internalized clocks, have everything planned by hour, always busy going here and there, checking off their to-do lists and so on. And while it's the best way to get efficiency, it's not what makes one happy. Which sort of made me to reflect about my own life.. I mean I've got school full-time and anyone who knows me, knows that I do a little more for school than study for tests the night before. Then I've got a job for about 15 hours every week. I've got a boyfriend who I like to spend at least 1 day a week with and then I have friends whom I hopefully see in school pretty much every day. Well, there's also family who is trying to talk to me in between my msn messages. And what I asked myself is whether this is the sort of thing that can make me happy. And then I decided that I find this sort of pace rather satisfying because this way every night I can feel that I have accomplished something and that I am really living my life. It gives me some sort of inertia to go on and on and on. Sure, eventually (hopefully after exams) I break down and spend a week or two idling before being able to do anything, but I think this is the sort of life I could live and the way reality is, I will probably keep on living it the same way. So yeah, I am ranting.

What's new with me? Well, it's mostly same old. I had a shift today, which was pretty short however and not particularly eventful. I got sort of pissed off at my manager a bit because she took all these walk-ins when we were fully booked and then she took off to do some of her contact lens stuff, leaving me with a bunch of angry people tapping their feet and asking me why is it 1:45 and they are still there when their appointment was scheduled for 1:15. Yucks.

We've got our long-awaited math problem set on friday... Supposedly it's a review of last year calculus, but damn I can't even get the part a of the first question. Ok, so I know the answer by graphing the function on the computer, but it doesn't get me any closer to knowing how to solve that limit without taking 3 pages of derivatives. Courses like sociology make me reconsider taking math and stuff. Not that it's all that fun, but to do well in it all I need to do is read the book and make some notes. There is no particular problem solving or anything like that involved, all the concepts are easy to understand... Meh... I guess I'm better off to pretend I like the challenge of computer science. Anyways, better go to bed now.