darkness & light : el cielo : patt's place : what i shouldn't have : where am i
2004 : jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005 : jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov +
quebec visit : highschool grad : university life : victoria now and then
apr 28 '04 : 0212 : identity crisis
another man down
a friend has decided that he would be taking a year off from school next year, and therefore he'll not be returning for a fun and exciting third year at the u of t. his reasons were along the lines of "i'm sick of school", "i hate my field of study", and so on. well tomorrow he's supposed to have his stats exam, but, according to him, apparently no matter how much he should study for it, he'll still fail the class anyway. so instead of trying his best to understand and study as much stats as possible, a few friends and i, upon checking to see what he's doing around nine, found him watching hockey looking rather relaxed and unconcerned to the fact that he has an exam the next day. basically i think he has given up on life and his education. so what happened to him during the past year and a half? i imagine he did exceptional in high school, seeing how he managed to score a single's room in the first year. was high school just a joke or did we become less intelligent than before? i suppose it really is a little bit of both. i wouldn't go as far as saying it was a joke, but high school was relatively easy; i don't really remember a time where i've studied profoundly for a test or an exam, except maybe physics. plus the materials were more linear, often times we only need to memorize formulae and insert numbers into them to get answers. perhaps some of us are so used to the linearity of high school that we are awe-struck when we have to put the formulae into applications. anyway. my friend hasn't decided what he would be doing next year, he said he might look into teaching english over-sea or something. it's a quarter-life crisis i suppose, and maybe by taking time off he can think things over more clearly. or maybe he will just become a college drop out. i told him he should switch into art history, it's such a friendly department that everyone and anyone is welcome to join. he said no though; i guess he can do much better than art history. well, so long he won't regret his decision in twenty years, i think as friends we've said and done enough. it's all up to him now.
apr 25 '04 : 2216 : birthday : happy birthday caren!
i thought i had something to write about
well, my room's main light died, and i'm left with my desk lamp as light source. my room now has a sleep-inducing aura, and i seem to have been affected by it.. ... ... where was i again? i need some air, or food, or whatever.
apr 23 '04 : 0352 : sleeping awake
10 days til home sweet home
there is nothing particularly interesting to talk about lately. i suppose that's because most people are busy with exams and studying that the only thing we ever talk about anymore is how well we're handling exams and such. and, to hell with those of you who are done with exams.
art history was good, it was about how i expected it would be. i was however surprised to find the questions were more general than era-specific. overall i think i did well. italian was unbelievably long, and in parts confusing. it's just i was more used to the tests and quizzes, for instance, we were usually asked in class to conjugate verbs according to the context and see if they should be indicatives or subjuctive. on the exams we have to decide subjective or conditional, it was whacked. i have no idea how i've done on the exam. the thing with a course language is that often times there are exceptions and rules that i might've forgotten, plus spelling is extremely important. so if i mispelled a letter or something along those lines i could be majorly screwed. oh well, let's hope my composition with give me good mark. the topic was the cultural differences between canada and italy, essentially i was saying how much better the italian culture is to the canadian culture. personally i think it should've been the the differences between north america and italy; i just don't think there is a particular canadian culture out there, at least not one that is widely recognizable. that's just me.
apr 21 '04 : 0000 : the birthday song : happy birthday mom!
a title just for the special occasion
apr 19 '04 : 0120 : narcolepsy
for some things i really should care more
yesterday my friend and i were taking a walk around eleven thirty, the usual bay to bloor to philosopher to queen's park walk. it was a nice night, the weather was just right, not too cold or hot, with just a hint of the spring breeze blowing. everything was good, until we hit queen's park. i don't remember hearing it from where, but apparently it is one of the spots for casual sexual encounters for homosexuals. and so it is! as of yesterday i didn't really care 'cuz i thought what happened in the park didn't concern me whatsoever and we just quickly got out of the park. my friend was absolutely appalled with what happened, and he was astonished to find me not really caring or showing uneasiness. i told him that the things those people were doing didn't concern me as i've avoided looking at them. and we're living in the biggest city of canada, incidents such as these were bound to happen. he was not satisfied with my reasons. well we got back to residence, and i thought everything was over. apparently today, he had called the police to report what he saw in queen's park yesterday. when he hold me about it i was surprised to find that he had taken matters so seriously. he criticized me of not caring about it, and or anything in life in general. he said that such activities in public should not be tolerated, as they certainly have a negative impact on the community. plus the activities are most certainly unsanitary and would cause disturbance in others if they were to discover any.. remains. he's absolutely right, such public indecency should be regarded as a serious matter, people should'nt have sex in public. and now that i think of it, i've never heard straight people gathering at a place to have casual sex [or maybe i'm just information deprived] i suppose due to my lack of caring, it has made me a relatively open minded person. as i've said in an earlier entry, i think sexuality is really a personal thing, it's up to people themselves to decide how they want to live their lives. then you see them on television, you see them on newspaper, how they say the whole sex scene is just a myth, an urban legend, and that they are not just all about sex and try to rid the stereotype. then something like this happens, so what's the reason behind it? they can't go to a bar or club to meet up with compatible sex partners and have one night stands in a private locale like straight people seems so capable of? i suppose i shouldn't say everyone is like that, but stereotype is like a horrible disease that can hardly be cured. i'm chinese fob, i must be "foreign, nerdish, a joke". he's black, he must be a criminal in training if he isn't already one. so on. my point is, once you make a name for yourself, it'll follow you everywhere, even if you've never participated in any indecent events / activities or appeared to be so. in the end, i don't think the world is trying to get them, i think it's just themselves pulling their legs.
apr 16 '04 : 0335 : the worst
what is talent? what is an inspiration?
does william hung have talent and is he an inspiration? please tell me.
i don't understand.
apr 13 '04 : 2330 : the long day is over
need to focus
so i got most of my errands done today: got cash from the atm, bought a birthday card from hallmark for my mom that i'll send to her on friday, faxed my letter to the toronto citizenship and immigration office requesting a postponement of my examination until september, and called my uncle arranging a date in which he'll come by residence to pick up my stuff before my flight home on may third. now i don't have much to worry besides exams, except the citizenship office will probably give me a call sometime soon, or send me an email, whichever. this year has gone by rather hastily, it hasn't hit me yet that i'll have exams next week. i've been studying of course, but i'm not really focusing on the materials that way i should be. i'm just kind of starring blankly at the images on fadis, trying to memorize the dates and locations of buildings. i'm thinking if i have a more stable sleeping pattern maybe i would focus better. anyway, modern archiecture history final shouldn't be too bad. the one i'm worried most is italian; the verb tenses have been driving me crazy! i'm thinking i should tattoo my arms with italian verb endings before my exam next thursday. well they are no rules in the exam guidelines that we can't have tattoos that may or may not be potential clues or helpful hints. consider them bodily arts, and that i love italian so much therefore i've covered my body with italian writings! sounds like a plan, maybe a painful plan, but whatever works eh?
apr 08 '04 : 2211 : clocks
the problem of having only one clock in my room
it happened again! my computer has decided to go berserk and screw itself over, and thus it has screwed me over in the process. well last monday, it decided to forward an hour for daylight's saving time. actually that was partially my fault because i had set the date on my computer to march eighth on saturday and forgot to change it back. then i thought my computer forgot to switch itself one hour forward and decided to do it manually. well after i changed the date back to the actual date on sunday, i imagine my computer realized it's dst and did what i've already done. consequently on monday i went to dinner an hour early and was surprisedasdf to see barely anyone was there. well that was then, today, the same thing happened again! except this time my clock decided to turn back one hour instead! so i woke up at one right? thinking i will have plenty of time to take a shower, watch the trailer for nicole's new film "the stepford's wives", check some emails, print my paper and ultimately go to my last class of the year. it appeared that i was an hour late, again, i was absolutely puzzled and felt horrible of walking into my class in the middle of the lecture [there was no backdoor, which would have been great!] so what the hell happened? i have no freaking clue! all i know is that from now on, i will have to check the time online to veriasfdfy if my computer clock is actually telling the truth. stupid computers, you can never tell when they want to smell funny. as for why i only have my computer clock to tell time in my room, well i used to have an actual clock, but it fell too many times on the floor that some component eventually went broken. i used to have a watch too, but i haven't seen it since around january; i must've lost it or something. oh well. i'll just have to double check from now on. or if anyone wants to donate a watch or clock to me i wouldn't object to that. anyone? eh eh?
apr 06 '04 : 2211 : one step closer
bye bye italian
during lunch today i was talking to a friend about where we will stay for next year. since i don't know whether i will make it into the architecture program, i don't even know if i'll be back for the third year. but upon the chance that i do return, regardless of the outcome, i'll be living in the good old st. mikes residence. i would've liked to live in an apartment with couple of friends, but i didn't want to make anyone wait until i get a final answer in june; so scrap that, residence will be good enough [if only canada room would improve the quality of their food] anyway, he said he would probably live in residence too, but he'd much rather live in an apartment if he could choose. then somehow from there the conversation just gone odd; he was being mysterious and all, saying there is a "last resort" of some sort. i was mildly confused; it reminded of a time, a conversation that i had with another friend not long ago. i think i know what's going on, but i'll just sit and watch the mystery unfolds itself. it should be interesting.
so two classes out the window. that's right, modern architecture history and italian gone bye bye. not that i particularly dislike those classes, hell, italian was actually quite enjoyable with the professoressa teaching the class instead of the t.a. who i believe doesn't like me much. plus tonight we had two awesome presentations, plus someone brought in some torte dell'italiano, or italian cakes. i couldn't tell what was the italian aspect of them, but is there anyone who would object to free food? it's a sin to reject free things that come your way. anyway, my point is, who doesn't like end of classes? i have no more homework and essays, just one more contemporary architecture class on thursday then it's all about exams. i'm glad my exams are spread out like a disease; like cancer, but only better. haha. when you're hungry you start writing random shit. i think i will just go to sleep hungry, maybe that way i will dream about japanese food and have a big feast. sweet dream.
and now there is someone knocking on my door then quickly running into the cheap jew's room. jebus.
[edit : apr 07 '04 : 1038] yah, my sweet dream turned out to be a nightmare. it was a school trip of some sort, and we went onto this exotic island. then we arrived at this excellent buffet, and there were all these great looking food [i don't remember being able to smell anything] unfortunately, i didn't have any money, so i ended up drooling and starring at everyone enjoying their meals. a friend of mine offered me some of his share, but i refused to take his food. i hate myself..
apr 03 '04 : 0650 : different people
cultural differences
as much as i dislike it, i am becoming more aware of the cultural differences that exist between me and most of my friends that are white. during dinner tonight, i was being usual and eating my meal silently; the friends with which i was sitting commented that i was being very quiet and i ought to talk more. i told them the topics they were discussing were things that i don't really know where and how in which i can participate. then they asked me what would i like to talk about. i just smiled and went back to my meal. really, there isn't much i want to say, and there isn't much that i would want to talk about that would also interest my friends. i suppose our thinking process and ideals are just different, so there are just not many commons things we can talk about. or perhaps i'm just hanging out with the wrong group of people. they went to see a chinese film [kung fu film friday] that was based on one of the four famous novels, "journey to the west", of china. the story essentially is about a monk who was to travel to the west to retrieve a prayer book with his four pupils, and along their way they encounter demons who are seeking after the monk's flesh [whoever eats the monk receives immortality] and difficult quests. anyway. i mean, what can i say, when a friend get me into his room, then along with some others begin to suggest my culture is absolutely fucked up and that "[my culture] insults [him]", based on what they saw on the big screen tonight? in the end, i think asians and white are very different: interests, habits, values. oh well, we'll never understand each other, so let's not even bother to attempt an analysis of any sort. school's almost over; next year will be different, as some of them will be moving out of residence. and i probably should think about joining the hong kong student society. just for a change.
apr 01 '04 : 0236 : cartoon heroes
i got brain cancer!
april fool! bah. it's really no fun when there are no pranks, not that i'm complaining or anything [please do not leave horse poop or stink bombs outside my door, thank you] i should've bought duct tape and tape my friend's door, it would've been funny. or not. so did anyone successfully pull any jokes on anyone?
and i finally beat 'space channel 5'! chu!
[edit : apr 01 '04 : 0723] april fools pranks started at around four o'clock this morning, while i was doing some last minute internet email checking and instant messeging. just as i was about to switch off my monitor i heard 'clicks' and 'cracks' outside my door. at first i thought it was my boiler, but upon investigation, i realize my peep-hole was sealed with duct tape and cylindrical shadows were lined up against my door. i found out that my friends were attempting to pile pop cans on my door, thus possibly resulting in a big crash the next morning when i open the door if i hadn't opened the door to see what was happening. so i told them off, and collected all the cans they've brought for me. so the next logical thing to do was sleep, forget what had happened. but after i woke up to a really weird dream about ten minutes after i dozed off, i thought revenge would actually be more logical. so i used my scotch tape and taped together two pop cans at a time, since it'll be easier to put the cans up into a wall. and since there were three friends involved, i had to calculate which one deserves it the most. well, i know apparently one of them is a light sleeper, so scratch him out. then there's the one who probably wouldn't hear anything, having the experience of walking into his room at three in the morning and stealing his dreamcast, without him knowing until he saw something was missing the next day, last year. but then both of them live on my floor, and if i do make a mistake and cause the cans to collaspe i would probably piss off a lot of people. so it was decided, my target would be the third floor guy. so i collected all my cans and put them into my laundry basket, and made my way up. at first i was nervous i would wake him up, but having listened for any signs of movement and or snorting outside his door for a while, i was sure he wouldn't. so slowly i put them up, one by one. everything was going perfect, i had him. oh no that row is tilting, better fix it. and so i learned that correcting your mistakes isn't always a good idea. my nearly finished wall of cans crumbled onto the floor, while i was trying to take away a few cans, and caused much noise. he woke up too. talk about being screwed up the ass!? and now i can only wait for them to come back with another prank.. and more pranks..