darkness & light : el cielo : patt's place : what i shouldn't have : where am i
2004 : jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov : dec
2005 : jan : feb : mar : apr : may : jun : jul : aug : sep : oct : nov +
quebec visit : highschool grad : university life : victoria now and then
feb 28 '04 : 1534 : sixth sunny day : happy birthday marcin!
an unexpected neighbourhood discovery
after the little controversy i've been through the past couple of days, things have sort of settled. i supposed i really should just laugh and forget about it. afterall, i probably brought it on myself, as another friend pointed out. so everything has returned to normal as of now, maybe something more is coming my way, who knows? as long as matters don't get out of control, i'll smile and laugh along. life's mostly just a game, shouldn't be too serious about it, non? anyway.
today is the sixth sunny day in a row; the weather is most pleasant. so after brunch at the canada room i decided to go for a walk. it has sort of become a habit of mine to go for a small walk after meals, if possible. sometimes i would go with one of my friends after dinner, and use the time to talk about life in general. although eighty percent of the time it would end up with us arguing and holding opposing views on different issues. anyway. with my discman and me feeling surprisingly enthusiastic, i began my walk as soon as i got out of brennan hall. usually i would walk across queen's park towards trinity college, then continue through the discovery walk between trinity college and the faculty of music to bloor street, and finally head south back to my residence when i come to bay street. today, however, i didn't turn south on bay street. instead i continued walking on bloor street towards the east. i didn't know where it came from, but today i decided i would go to the east side of downtown and take a look around. last year, as part of my geography assignment i went to the southwest part of downtown toronto, namely kensington market, alexandra park, and the niagara district. it was interesting to see the difference between those areas and the core of downtown, even though they were only separated by maybe several streets. so after maybe about a fifteen minute walk on bloor, i arrived at parliament street, and interestingly the first thing i saw was the st. james cemetery and crematorium. coincidentally the song i was listening to [jpop, yes, thank you] is named toki no shizuku [drop of time] while it is most likely a song about love, with me not being able to understand a word is sang, i imagined it is a song that talks about the cycle of life. it was a weird feeling, to interpret the song that way and look at the gravestones at the same time. passed the cemetery, i arrived at what is apparently oldcabbage town. being only fifteen minutes away from the busy yonge street, oldcabbagetown has a very different atmosphere. it speaks to me as a traditional, simple small town area. the street is not overwhelmed by trendy or luxurious boutiques, but rather by stores that seem to exist only because they're necessitous. i continued southward, looking at the old buildings as i walk and thinking how nice it is to feel the sun; it would have been blocked by large apartment buildings if i was walking at the core downtown area. once i hit carlton street i thought it was time to head back, but then decided that i would take a look at the residential area before going back. needless to say it is very much gentrified, in a similar fashion to alexandra park and all those areas in the southwest. oddly enough though, the place doesn't feel abandoned or 'yuppish'. it feels friendly; it sort of reminds me of home. i see families taking walks [and they actually walk slow! go victorian style!] neighbours talking to one another; people being happy in general. an overwhelming feeling of comfort and tranquility surged through my mind, i felt happy and at home. it was a nice change of scenery from the dirty urban area, to this clean quiet region in the east. just when i thought things couldn't get better, well, yah, it kind of did. at the end of the street is riverdale farm. it is not a farm where you'd see seeds being sowed or crops being harvested [that would have to be furthern north of town i imagine, and in periods when there is no snow] it is simply a small place that houses a limited numbers of farm animals [goats, cows, roosters, so on] just like the one back home in victoria, inside beacon hill park. i was oddly joyful, and very well entertained by the geese that were chasing after the goats who happened to be in the same barn, the one horse that was sleeping standing-up [i wish i can do that], and the cow that was trying to feel-up his partner but failed miserably [she ran away] good times!
after the wonderful farm visit, i sat on a bench just outside, observing all the happy families on the sunny saturday afternoon [their dogs are not the over-abundant and annoying tiny canis that i see everyday around campus!] and contemplating on how much i've depended on technology to keep myself entertained. i suppose it's not necessarily all that bad: it helps me appreciate the small things that much more, and be thankful of what i have in life. there may be times when i feel depressed and wonder what's the point to all this; there is always an easy way to get out of it all. but think deeply, there are more great moments in life than painful moments, relatively speaking. situations and circumstances that seemed unbearable today may proved to be different tomorrow. single and desperate? well, at least you're not divorced with 3 kids. my point being everything will turn out for the best, bad luck never stays forever, the worst memories will pass. although the pain will always be there, but in time the hurt will become minimal. everything in life is just difference of paradigmes, we should all think positive, it would sure do wonders to our lives and make us all happier people. anyway. today is a good day.
feb 26 '04 : 0833 : forth sunny day
war has begun
i'm serious having problem sleeping now. having gone to bed around one o'clock, i somehow managed to wake up at five thirty this morning. i was going to wake up early around eight or nine to study for my architecture test today, and that would be at least eight hours of sleep, the supposed average for a person. i slept for only five hours! i'm officially accepting remedies and cures for inability to sleep for long starting this second. anyone? anyway. after a bit of online surfing and music listening, i was bored, so i decided to do the job my friend is sharing with me [ie. i get money for doing it] essentially i have to log-on to fadis, the university's fine art digital imaging system, and check for any broken images on the system. supposedly it was to take ten hours to finish, i used an hour and half to complete the task. kudos to efficiency; however, that means i get less money. damn. but maybe this way my friend can get me more easy jobs like this.
lastly, i now declare war on all those who were involved in putting signs on my door. i have a few persons in mind, but my prime targets would be the beardless supposed rapist of the third floor, the angsty diabetic of the second, and the anorexic jew of the first. if i've failed to mention you yet you were part of it, don't worry, this war shall not cease until 'team tiger' has done all the necessary killings. beware.
edit [feb 27 '04 : 0532]: i have found all the culprits to the infamous 'team tiger' crime. they were all the people i've thought they would be, plus the treacherous fascist of the first floor. the fascist was originally one of the prime suspects, but when i asked him earlier the day if he was part of it, he said he didn't know any of it. i believed, at that moment, he was sincere and he actually knew nothing. to my disappointment, however, i found out he had lied. you see, i believe in the goodness in people, and that everyone is essentially trustworthy, until proven wrong otherwise. was i actually upset about the signs? no. absolutely not. i found them humorous and that people would actually spend time playing a joke on me. i laughed when i saw them, and i felt flattered in a way [i'm a masochist, i know] the reason i'm discouraged is that someone would lie about such trivial matter. seriously, the most i could do is pretend i didn't like it and send out supposed death-threats. i just don't understand the reasoning behind the deceit, and i feel my emotions have been played and betrayed. the fascist is truly traitorous; and from now on don't expect me to believe a word he says.
feb 25 '04 : 1000 : cloudy
spring is coming
with reading week officially over two days ago, i have to say that i've accomplished nothing purposeful. although i'm safe to assume that about 99% of the university population probably did no work over the break either. so not much to worry about. time is going by rather quickly; february is almost coming to an end, and march is just around the corner. the long winter is over, and spring is coming! it shall be a time of renewal. speaking of renewal, a friend of mine is currently undergoing some drastic changes. while i may not understand completely the whole ordeal, it will turn out for the best, i think. everything is relative right?
i would also like to point out that girls in kimonos are the best.
feb 22 '04 : 0103 : sakura snow
something fun
after several contemplative entries, i've decided to put up a fun quiz, the "how well do you know me" test. courtesy of tickle.com and a friend who sent me her quiz, here's mine.
have fun.
edit [feb 23 '04 : 1511] : somehow people can't access the answer key. regardless, it was more or less a joke quiz, don't take it too seriously. but if you really want the answers, you can email me or something and i'll send you the key.
feb 20 '04 : 0055 : new moon : happy birthday ashley!
friendship : how do we lose it? how did we keep it?
talking to people makes me think. and since the day of my talk about friends, i've been thinking about my friendships and the sort of things around them. how am i losing some and how was i keeping some? i asked myself. certainly everyone has their own lives to live, their own problems to deal with, their own dreams to follow; but with the technology to which we have access, i think it should be easier for people to stay connected in this era, compared to maybe decades ago when there were limited communicating means [only letters and phone-calls spring to mind] is that the case though? yes and no. with most of my friends i am able to stay connected via internet & emails; they are "instantaneous for a reason." for some others i have little idea on why they've gone missing. no emails, no 'hey"s, no calls. nothing. i didn't try hard enough? perhaps. but i believe there should be mutual inclination and effort in wanting to stay as friends between people. with some of my friends i feel like i always have to be the first one to send an email or a messege, and if i don't do so i won't get anything. it's as if i'm begging for attention, the way a dog would to its master. but with a dog, the master would at least answer it's yap instantly. i have to wait for weeks before i get something back. i'm not a dog, and i don't feel i should have to beg a friend to send me an email. and it's not like they never get online or anything. i suppose time was spent on everything else but me; boyfriends and girlfriends probably take up most of the schedule in the 'things to do' list. having no time to drop me a few lines is just an excuse, think about how often we are in front of a computer nowadays; messeging is just a mouse-click away. it is not my intention to world-wide-webly humililate anyone and their lack of effort. i see this as presenting a problem and trying to resolve it, even though i do sound horribly bitter and have vented a lot. anyway, i'm not expecting a hoard of emails piling up my account after this; i would only consider that as being hypocritical. but i hope, that some of my busier friends would spend 5 minutes of their lives, every now and then in the future, and write to me. i don't need to know every second of what they are doing, that would be lame and unnecessary. just a simple 'hey, how's it going, everything is fine with me" or something along those lines would be appreciated. but if they seriously don't find the need to keep in touch with me, fair enough. there are only so many times i can try, and this shall be the last.
feb 19 '04 : 1341 : cloudy sunny : happy birthday oli!
canada room lunch extravaganza
i think i'm getting less sleep as days go by. having gone to bed at six this morning, i woke up three times, until i finally decided to really get up around eleven. the weird part is that i don't particularly feel tired; naturally i don't feel very energetic and ready to kick arse in anything either. i think i'm on my way in becoming an insomniac. anyway. after i got up i listened to some music, sifted through some blogs / journals, so on and so on; then hunger kicked in. it's time for lunch. i usually don't like going to lunches, especially this week: lunches in the cafeteria aka canada room is never appealing. on my way there i imagined i'd have some spanish rice and potatoes for today. upon arrivial i see no one is lining up at the usual food serving area. instead they've all lined up around the salad bar. they were making radiatori for us, on the spot! basically they have a line of ingredients [ie. mushrooms, tomatoes, bacon, plus many more] and you choose what you want to add to your radiatori. for sauce they have tomato and this white cream sauce for you to choose. finally add in everything, fire up the pan, and ecco! [italian equilvalent of voil?] you just got served! they even have people making sandwiches for you near the dessert bar! i was impressed. granted, i had to wait a bit [about 10 minutes] before i got my noodle, but it was worth the wait. it was an improvement, but i'm most certain it was a once in a blue moon kind of deal. imagine having to serve 300 university students everyday, i think the chef will throw the pans in our faces and kill us all. i have the feeling he is getting progressively pissed as more students show up for lunch. well i'm glad i was out before any harm was done. i wonder if they'll do something similar for dinner. humm, for once i'm actually looking forward to it! crazy.
feb 18 '04 : 0220 : silent night
what do you think about me?
just finished a conversation with a friend. somehow we started talking about me, and he had the following to say: i'm too generous, i give too much time listening and helping others, i keep too much inside [ie. anger], i'm still fragile and people often use me. in parts i think he's right. i would consider myself a nice person, if anyone knows me long enough, i think it's a characteristic of mine that cannot be missed. not that i'm boasting or anything, but just relatively speaking, i'm nice. i admit however that i'm usually only nice to my friends, and family. perhaps it was my upbringing [my parents did a great job i think] i'm generally mellow and quiet. nothing constructive spawls from anger, it only adds more conflict to the situation. if someone has to take the blame, might as well be me; i'm genetically trained to handle it in a civilized manner: absorb the anger and transform it into some other thoughts [ie. hunger] and about the listening, i like stories; i like to hear what people have to say about themselves. as long as they are honest, sincere, and open. having discussed the same topic with my insomniac friend back home, he thinks the "first three are pretty normal for decent human beings," in his humble opinion, but "the last two could be problematic, and (he) thinks they're probably true." i agree. sometimes i know i've be used, or regarded as a last resort among friends. it's sad but true. although it is a way to make friends, or keep friends, in my opinion: to be a puppet that can be maneuvered anytime any day, or a crowd follower. just what is better? to hold strong opinions about myself, and have people either accept the way i am or forget about me. or go with the flow, and please everyone so they be my friends? i'm not saying i'll do whatever my friends tell me; i'm not trying to suck up to people to make friends. there are limits. but if i have to do something, acceptable and not disrespectable, so that people wouldn't reject me, i would do it. my prime fear in life is to be rejected. am i pathetic? maybe. but i'm only human, don't expect too much from me.
feb 16 '04 : 0810 : mixed
blog addition
it's late in the morning, played with my blog a bit. finally i decided to add a chatterbox to it, for those who want to give me a yell, feel free to do so. verbal abuse will not be tolerated though, and please refrain from using profanity. i will come hunt you down if the above rules are broken. other than that, cheers!
feb 16 '04 : 0214 : frozen wind
the duke of gloucestor
it's good to have friends, especially a rich one. well my new best friend, who recently got six thousand dollars scholarship [his extra spending money for the next two months i imagine] decided to treat a few friends and me to some free drinks. and who would oppose to free stuff? so we hit the duke of gloucestor, a bar around the corner of yonge street. we got all to ourselves a quiet reclusive backroom; it had a pretty nice atmosphere. first round was dirty mother. it was an excellent drink; it didn't taste like alcohol, instead it tasted more like coke in a milky creamy sort of way. and to our delight, our friend also ordered us deep fried mars bars, wings, nachos, and potato skins. hallelulah indeed. second round we decided to go for a pitcher of beer. i'm surprised i was still standing after all the alcohol i've consumed. you see, about 4 months ago, i would go insane after downing a quarter ounce of vodka or just a glass of champagne. i think my alcohol tolerance has increased after all the bar experiences; good exercises for my liver. guinness is my favorite beer, and dirty mother shall be my favorite drink for now [until i find a better one] anyway, in the end, our friend with all the scholarships paid for everything, and the rest of us chipped in for the tip. i'm thinking we should turn this into a weekly event. free drinks and free food, sweeeeet. we even promised to enter the friend into all the possible scholarships for which he is eligible. with his grades, we're all sure he will get them. he just have to signed the forms, and we'll be in charge of filling in the information and submitting the applications. sounds like a plan non? it's good to have a friend who has good grades, enjoys alcohol, and is very generous at the same time.
and i finally met the girlfriend of my very tall friend. i've been wanting to meet her because i heard that she is a hologram, powered by several projectors. but naturally that was not true, after i have poked her arm with my very own left index finger. she is nice; she went with us to the duke and had a good time. well, who wouldn't with free food and drinks? i most certainly enjoyed every second of it. and to those of you who went home for reading week, i'm sorry, but you've missed a hella good time. maybe some other time. haha. just joking.
feb 15 '04 : 0739 : rising sun
valentine officially over
. . . i a m back! i'm out of my cocoon. apparently nothing serious or deadly happened, so my retreat was futile. well, better believe it than not non? anyway, i now officially announce the end of valentine '04. it was a fairly mellow day. the most exciting thing i did was delivering roses and a few personal messeges for the girlfriend of my friend, who lives in india, to my friend. the plan was to placed the items in front of his door and surprise him at exactly midnight of the 13th; so love was spread as soon as it hit valentine. i placed the roses and messeges in front of the door, rang the dell as valentine arrives, and fled the scene. actually i hid behind some bushes to see if my friend went to pick up the items. unfortunately one of his housemates came to collect them, and it didn't go as planned. however, my friend was still impressed. it was cool, i helped spread love across two continents. i'm just that good.
following the love spreading mission was trying to assure my friend that he would have a fantastic valentine with his girlfriend. apparently he wasn't able to get hold of her since last wednesday, and he was worried that something terrible would happen. his girlfriend wrote something rather interesting in her live-journal; and being the anxious person that he is, he feared the worst. he called a couple of her close friends, still unable to find her. i told him to calm down, and reassured him that she probably just went to bed early. about what she wrote, some of us [including some of out friends and me] suggested that it was only a surprise. he felt better; he was less tense and he finally cracked a smile upon leaving my room. so what happened in the end? nothing, it turned out that he overreacted a little, and he spent a great day with his girlfriend. might not have been the best, but at least it wasn't as bad as what he thought would happen. and apparently i'll get a free meal, and a free round the next time we hit the bar, from him; for lending him my ears. sweet deal! he was worked up so badly. haha. it was definitely an eventful valentine for him.
the rest of the day was spent playing gamecube with my other friends who didn't have dates. around ten thirty at night we decided to go rent a movie. we rented the old school version of "ocean's 11", and went over to the apartment of one of them. it was a big mess, but with our company matters got worst. pepsi was spilled twice on the carpet [i spilled the second time, and this time it was a full glass, oops]; chips and cookie crumbs, gameboy advance games got scattered all over. now i understand why he hardly invites anyone over. eventually we went back to rez for more gamecubing. around five in the morning, two friends and i decided to go up to another friend's door and serenade his girlfriend and him. actually, my anxious friend and i backed out at the last minute, leaving our drunken friend doing all the kicking and banging on the door [i'm sure my friend and his girlfriend didn't appreciate that] and it didn't end there, the drunken friend brought up a sign of some sort from the basement and put it in front of his door. basically tomorrow when my friend opens the door, he'll be hit by a wooden plaque [hopefully his girlfriend doesn't open the door first, or else...] plus the drunken friend called his room ten minutes later and left the song "you are my sunshine" on his voice-mail. university students, huh?
finally we returned to my room and decided to play with our webcams. i took several pictures of my anxious friend experimenting different hair styles [i think the mohawk fit him the best] and the drunken friend knocking over my tea cup and dying on my floor. the apartment friend did a web muppet show; needless to say, it was 18+ [sorry kids]. it hit seven thirty and we decided to call it a day. my anxious friend is going home in the morning, so we had a reason to stay up. valentine '04, what a fun-filled day it was.
feb 13 '04 : 0000 : romantic snow : happy birthday jony!
the valentine entry
first, i'd say like to 'woot!' for the beginning of reading week. i think it deserved that. now the bigger picture. it's that time of the year again ladies and gentlemen, indeed, it'll be valentine's day in 24 hours, 1440 minutes, 86400 seconds. why do i write this entry so early u ask? well according to some source, a virus will be invading cyber space friday, tomorrow; and i will be hiding in my cocoon until probably late saturday, to avoid the cyber attack. therefore i want to express my thoughts on valentine before i retreat to my cocoon. so back to topic: it will be the 19th valentine of my life, another day to spend alone. not that i'm complaining; seeing how i never put effort in persuing a relationship, i don't have a right to complain anyway. i think valentine's day is a day to test how cheesey a person can get. when 2 persons are in love, they try so hard to impress one another, and often come up with the strangest ideas to do so. but strange might they be, i think they are romantic; a good sign that love is out there for everyone. i hope everyone's plans go as they're planned. even if they don't, well, there's always next valentine right? just puff up some extra cheese next year round. but remember, your lover loves you for who you are. not the gifts you're going to buy, not the luxurious dinner, not your money. material goods are just bonuses, you're the real gift. ok, that was cheesey. it was not my intention to have made such comments. serious! anyway, happy valentine to all; have a little fun, no, have lots of fun! enjoy the lovely day! even if you're alone like me, don't sweat, love is just around the corner. go meet it, now! i am g o n e . . .
music of the day : nakashima mika - aishiteru "instrumental"
[song title translation: i love you]
feb 11 '04 : 0135 : minus three
sex and its value
maybe because i am a communist chinese; maybe because i will never get any; maybe because i am a bitter man; or maybe because of all of the above, i just think sex should be regarded with higher value. it's a wonder to know how little values some people see in sex, having heard opinions from various people. i'm not here to say "no sex before marriage" or anything along those lines. sex is ok; but seriously, before two persons venture into pleasureville, shouldn't they get to know each other first, in an indepth lover's sort of way? it astonishes me to know that some people engage in sexual activities so hastily. has it become a competition among friends, family members, or other significant or insignificant people, to see who can get laid the fastest? if the reason a person is doing it it's so that he can parade among friends on how much sex he's having, or because society, ie movies, television, ads, tells us it's okay to have quick casual sex or one night stands, maybe he ought not to be doing it. people complains about bad sex, size, physique, technique, so on and so on. honestly though, do these things really matter that much? if there is true love among two lovers, if they truly love each other, how could there be no chemistry? how could there be bad sex? maybe the sex is too quick or there is too much of it that it doesn't feel as good? it's like a bank account: withdrawls makes a poor account, deposits makes a rich one. the more you keep in the bank the more interest you accumulate. eventually one will be able to purchase a dream house, a dream boat, a dream whatever, with the savings, and enjoy the new paraphernalia [i love dictionary.com] with greater joy. a weird analogy maybe, but i think it makes sense no? basically, sex should be pleasurable and enjoyable; it shouldn't be forced. sex is one of the ways to express love for a precious someone; it's not a competition, a game, or a fling. sex is a wonderful thing; treasure it, value it, enjoy it with the person you love. peace.
feb 10 '04 : 0117 : ice traps
i am smart; yes, i am
walking through queen's park in the winter has been a fear of mine; last year's daunting experience of falling on my behind in front of a high school colleague continues to trouble me, day and night. did i mention he was not a friend, and that i didn't like him very much in high school anyway? i was surprised to have seen him actually. the only reason that he got into this university, i believe, was because of basketball. without it, i bet you a million dollar that he would never have made it ... alright, i might have exaggerated or falsified the situation; but for a person like him, anyone would be dubious of his chances of being accepted. on the other hand, i have yet seen him on campus this year; i believe that's a sign [ie. he has transferred back to my hometown's university] i am evil? i know. anyway. i think i have discovered a safe way to cross q's.p today: walk on the dry snow, not the ice. on my way home tonight, i felt smart to have done so. while everyone else struggled to keep their balance, i breezed through. there was a man in front who he tip-toed his whole way. it sure was a funny sight. naturally some others have already discovered the secret to how to safely get across q's.p, as proven by the path they have made, but i shall pretend i didn't see anything. i am the smart one, and everyone else is adopting my intelligent idea. i am pathetic? so are you, you're just jealous you didn't come up with the idea. who am i talking to anyway? haha. and i just discovered that i write like a girl according to the gender genie. interesting. i think i ought to swear more in my entries, maybe that'd make me a more masculine writer.
feb 07 '04 : 1343 : wet ground : happy birthday steve
ping-pong, un-surprising surprise party, & internet
today was the dean's cup ping-pong tournament, needless to say, i lost, in the first round. oops. too many mistakes, too little patient, too much thinking; those were the causes of my failure. i knew i wouldn't advance to the finals, however; my skills were incomparable to some of the other players. my match was good nonetheless, i had fun. maybe if the night before hadn't ended so abruptly, i would've played a little better [i have to find something to blame no?] i've learned not to plan anything anymore, having witnessed the scheme of mine crumbled like the wall of berlin last night. it was like this..
my friend and i had planned a surprise party for his roomie, who is also my friend, for yesterday, a week before, and my main job was to gather people to crash the party. but unknown to both of them, it was to be a double surprise party because their birthdays are close to one another, one being on next friday; but next friday will be the start of our reading week, so most people will most likely be busy going home and reading. plus it's a day before valentine, people might have other plans. regardless. everything was going well, i bought: cakes, princess tiara and wand, pink and orange dinosaurs, party favors, all things essential for a party [i forgot cheese though] and i emailed the people [i'm sorry i couldn't invite everyone, although i would if i could; it was to be a more buddy-buddy, intimate party of sort] everyone said they'd be there, on time. well. someone lied. one of the more important persons that was supposed to go didn't show up. [he apologized today, and he was forgiven. girlfriend situation comes before all things else, i understand] so those who showed up decided to go on. the first plan of the night was to surprise the roomie before he comes back from work. second failure: he came home an hour early. so by the time we arrived he was already there; we decided to reenact what we were to do if he had returned in the usual time. oh well. thankfully the second plan worked out well. another friend who was to show up at eleven brought in the other cake that i had dropped down at his place earlier, and my friend was pleasantly surprised. after several hours of cakes eating, princess crowning, confetti hurling, ghosts from mars watching, etc etc, we finally decided to return to my residence to continue the night with possibly gamecube, trivial pursuit, or cranium playing [geeks do what?] unfortunately we weren't able to get our hands on cranium, which would've been an excellent party game; we played trivial pursuit instead. after a combination of events [mostly too much swearing], my friend got irritated and furious, and he left abruptly, leaving us in a state of bewilderment: what just happened? it was not exactly how i imagined the night would end; i felt i did a bad job as the host. sorry. anyway, i'm glad it got resolved today, and that my friend felt better. so did i. ok, maybe the night didn't go as well as i had planned, but overall it was good; the cakes were most excellent; strawberry and chocolate mousse ... wow. kudos to my selections!
now, for this i should've wrote an entry two days ago, but things happened and i was unable to say write this until today: internet is the root of all things wonderful and evil. internet is possibly the greatest invention ever created by men. it has helped us gather information faster and easier, basically it has revolutionized our lives by making everything that much easier to obtain. however, having lost my internet for a day and a half due to a mistake the adminstrator has made, i have realized how much i depend on the internet: email, instant messeging, music, news, so on and so on. i have not the slightest idea on what i could do, when i found out my internet was blocked for a reason yet known to me. it was a day and a half of hellish nightmare. i think i ought to spend less time on the internet, and really prioritize my life the way it should be prioritized. school first, entertainment second. that's the way to go.
feb 05 '04 : 0225 : melting snow
time, look what you've done
what do normal people do in the early morning? ie. 2am sort of early? i suppose most people sleep; but since i've evolved from the rodent family [well, i have the qualities don't i? someone even called me "hamster boy" even though he has no clue what he's talking about!] i sleep during the day, and wake up at night running around and scouring for food, or doing nothing in general. tonight i've decided to dedicate the quiet hours to look at some of my family photos. good times, most excellent times: christmas, birthdays and ... ... oh my lord, what is that!? me!? what the *beep* happened to me!? holy *beep*! were i really that hideously obese 3 years ago? i mean, i'm still overweight and all that, but that!? what the *beep* is that thing?? [calm down ... calm down ... ] fuu ... puff... huhhh ... well ... i'm glad university has made me a better person of sort: all that cafe food was actually healthy for me! ok, they say a picture is worth a thousand words, i'll let the pictures speak on my behalf [left side is past tense, right side is present]:
[note to self: stop eating or start moving. pick one]
[my mom thinks i've aged a lot since the beginning of university. huh?]
feb 04 '04 : 2112 : full moon
procrastination to its fullest
today has been a day of procrastination; it was basically spent on watching a chinese drama series, "triumph in the skies"; a story revolving the aviation industry in hong kong. i started watching it this afternoon, and now i'm into the 12th episode - each episode is about 45 minutes long. so in total i have spent about 10 hours watching my computer screen. eyes are red, mind is dizzy, time is wasted; but i can't help myself but keeping going on. will power and discipline, where can i find them?
ok, i have spent too long writing this entry, now i must go back to my drama. maybe tomorrow i can write something worthwhile and something i should remember, instead of an entry on watching my computer screen for a whole day. cheers.
feb 02 '04 : 0225 : partly cloudy
world, i'm sorry
on the way to pizza pizza yesterday, my friend asked if i'd like to hear a problem of mine that he has discovered. i said yes; rectifying mistakes can improve relationships with others, or one's personality in general. he told me that i have an inquisitive personality, that i like to question about others' actions or thoughts. people are usually fine with this kind of behaviour, but he said i have the tendency to continue to question others, even when they do not know the answers themselves. for instance, some thoughts or feelings come naturally to a person, and perhaps these thoughts or feelings are inexpressible, but understandable only to the person. it's good that i have an inquiring mind, but he suggested that sometimes i should accept differences and learn where to draw the line, when to stop questioning; some people can find it offensive when being asked too much. i thought about what he said, and he was right. i like to ask why, why people do the things they do, why people think the way they do [if only i can use the word more often in school] but i would like people to know that it's not my intention to criticize or to judge; i'm only trying to understand. i would like to apologize, i'm sorry, to all those i may have offended in the past. i didn't mean to attack your point of view, thought process, or action. i was only trying to understand, why? anyway, i'm glad my friend understood and pointed it out. constructive criticism is good.
music of the day : morning musume - ai araba! it's all right
feb 01 '04 : 0000 : breezy
a future entry
welcome february 2004, let's take a look on the important events for this month:
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feb 9 : arc282 first test -
feb 12 : arc132 assignment due -
feb 13 : env200 bonus assignment due -
feb 14 : valentine's day : the 19th valentine of my life -
feb 15 - 22 : reading break -
feb 24 : ita250 test -
feb 26 : arc132 test